超级军网同学状态上写着：哥的ip4太给力了，摔了三次都没事儿！ ...
来源：百度文库 编辑：超级军网 时间：2024/04/28 14:19:04
1、
一男子入厕，刚把门关上，就听隔壁问：你来了？
他说：是啊．可心里想，这隔壁是谁啊？我认识他吗？奇怪！
这时隔壁又问：你来干吗啊？
他很生气的说：拉屎啊！来这能干吗？！
隔壁又问，那你什么时候走啊？
他想：这人估计是有神经病！他懊恼的说：拉完就走！！
这时隔壁又问：那一会你来我这里一下吧，好吗？
此人心里一惊：ＣＡＯ！原来是同性恋！
他大骂道：你ＴＭＤ去死吧，变态！
隔壁又说：恩，先挂了吧，一会再给你打过去，我旁边来了个变态！老ＴＭＤ跟我接话茬！！
2
一女走夜路,突然看到一男张开双臂向她走来,做拥抱状,上前就是一脚.男子倒地大哭,说:都第三块了,我招谁惹谁了,带块玻璃回家就这么难么?
3
葛优上厕所 一次，葛优请朋友吃饭，中途上了趟厕所，回来时，裤子湿了一大块。 朋友：你的裤子怎么湿啦？ 葛优：自从我成名之后经常这样。 朋友：经常这样？ 葛优：可不是！经常是旁边的人撒着尿突然转过来大叫：“ 这不是葛优吗！”
4
幸运52发生的真实笑话,李咏都笑趴下了! PART1: 一对夫妻，猜食品名称，老婆比划老公猜。大屏幕上跳出"馒头"一词 老婆描述：圆圆的，白白的，能吃的 老公：………… 老婆继续描述：就是白白的，软软的，你昨晚上还吃来着！ 老公看来是急坏了，脱口而出："mimi！" 李咏都笑趴下了。。。。。
5
要钱 一次乘公交车回家，上车后发现钱包里没有一元零钞，一着急，便掏出一张十元大票进投币口。后来越想越觉得窝囊，便跟司机商量，能不能让我守在门口，将下一站乘客本应投进投币口的钱据为己有？司机同意了。 车很快驶到下一站，很多人争着上车。我挡在门口，对第一位乘客说：“把钱给我。”对方一愣：“凭啥？”三言两语也解释不请，我就说：“给我就行了，别的不用管。”对方瞅瞅司机，司机点头默许。于是，一元钱到手。依法炮制，很快收了八个一元钱。接着上来一位大汉，虎背熊腰，剃着板寸，露着刺青。见我拦着他，怒道：“干吗呢?哥们儿？”我说：“一会儿再跟你说，先把钱给我。”对方眼珠子都圆了：“说啥呢？”我说：“把钱给我！”对方张大了嘴，冲司机问：“这小子干吗的？”大汉堵在门口，后面的人上不来，而车厢里的人急着发车，所以大家七嘴八舌地嚷起来了：“啰唆什么呢！快给钱！”大汉很快瘪了下去。只见他从口袋里掏出钱包递过来，哭丧着脸说：“老大，身上就这点钱，你们人多，我服了.
6
今天下午和一群女同事聊天，突然有人说我不是男人 我火了，我说，你说我不是，我掏出来给你看 女生都笑了，有一个最牛，说，你掏啊~~~~~~~~~~ 我就把身份证掏出来了
7、
同学状态上写着：哥的ip4太给力了，摔了三次都没事儿！下面立刻有人回复：这倒霉的孩子，买到山寨货了~~1、
一男子入厕，刚把门关上，就听隔壁问：你来了？
他说：是啊．可心里想，这隔壁是谁啊？我认识他吗？奇怪！
这时隔壁又问：你来干吗啊？
他很生气的说：拉屎啊！来这能干吗？！
隔壁又问，那你什么时候走啊？
他想：这人估计是有神经病！他懊恼的说：拉完就走！！
这时隔壁又问：那一会你来我这里一下吧，好吗？
此人心里一惊：ＣＡＯ！原来是同性恋！
他大骂道：你ＴＭＤ去死吧，变态！
隔壁又说：恩，先挂了吧，一会再给你打过去，我旁边来了个变态！老ＴＭＤ跟我接话茬！！
2
一女走夜路,突然看到一男张开双臂向她走来,做拥抱状,上前就是一脚.男子倒地大哭,说:都第三块了,我招谁惹谁了,带块玻璃回家就这么难么?
3
葛优上厕所 一次，葛优请朋友吃饭，中途上了趟厕所，回来时，裤子湿了一大块。 朋友：你的裤子怎么湿啦？ 葛优：自从我成名之后经常这样。 朋友：经常这样？ 葛优：可不是！经常是旁边的人撒着尿突然转过来大叫：“ 这不是葛优吗！”
4
幸运52发生的真实笑话,李咏都笑趴下了! PART1: 一对夫妻，猜食品名称，老婆比划老公猜。大屏幕上跳出"馒头"一词 老婆描述：圆圆的，白白的，能吃的 老公：………… 老婆继续描述：就是白白的，软软的，你昨晚上还吃来着！ 老公看来是急坏了，脱口而出："mimi！" 李咏都笑趴下了。。。。。
5
要钱 一次乘公交车回家，上车后发现钱包里没有一元零钞，一着急，便掏出一张十元大票进投币口。后来越想越觉得窝囊，便跟司机商量，能不能让我守在门口，将下一站乘客本应投进投币口的钱据为己有？司机同意了。 车很快驶到下一站，很多人争着上车。我挡在门口，对第一位乘客说：“把钱给我。”对方一愣：“凭啥？”三言两语也解释不请，我就说：“给我就行了，别的不用管。”对方瞅瞅司机，司机点头默许。于是，一元钱到手。依法炮制，很快收了八个一元钱。接着上来一位大汉，虎背熊腰，剃着板寸，露着刺青。见我拦着他，怒道：“干吗呢?哥们儿？”我说：“一会儿再跟你说，先把钱给我。”对方眼珠子都圆了：“说啥呢？”我说：“把钱给我！”对方张大了嘴，冲司机问：“这小子干吗的？”大汉堵在门口，后面的人上不来，而车厢里的人急着发车，所以大家七嘴八舌地嚷起来了：“啰唆什么呢！快给钱！”大汉很快瘪了下去。只见他从口袋里掏出钱包递过来，哭丧着脸说：“老大，身上就这点钱，你们人多，我服了.
6
今天下午和一群女同事聊天，突然有人说我不是男人 我火了，我说，你说我不是，我掏出来给你看 女生都笑了，有一个最牛，说，你掏啊~~~~~~~~~~ 我就把身份证掏出来了
7、
同学状态上写着：哥的ip4太给力了，摔了三次都没事儿！下面立刻有人回复：这倒霉的孩子，买到山寨货了~~
一男子入厕，刚把门关上，就听隔壁问：你来了？
他说：是啊．可心里想，这隔壁是谁啊？我认识他吗？奇怪！
这时隔壁又问：你来干吗啊？
他很生气的说：拉屎啊！来这能干吗？！
隔壁又问，那你什么时候走啊？
他想：这人估计是有神经病！他懊恼的说：拉完就走！！
这时隔壁又问：那一会你来我这里一下吧，好吗？
此人心里一惊：ＣＡＯ！原来是同性恋！
他大骂道：你ＴＭＤ去死吧，变态！
隔壁又说：恩，先挂了吧，一会再给你打过去，我旁边来了个变态！老ＴＭＤ跟我接话茬！！
2
一女走夜路,突然看到一男张开双臂向她走来,做拥抱状,上前就是一脚.男子倒地大哭,说:都第三块了,我招谁惹谁了,带块玻璃回家就这么难么?
3
葛优上厕所 一次，葛优请朋友吃饭，中途上了趟厕所，回来时，裤子湿了一大块。 朋友：你的裤子怎么湿啦？ 葛优：自从我成名之后经常这样。 朋友：经常这样？ 葛优：可不是！经常是旁边的人撒着尿突然转过来大叫：“ 这不是葛优吗！”
4
幸运52发生的真实笑话,李咏都笑趴下了! PART1: 一对夫妻，猜食品名称，老婆比划老公猜。大屏幕上跳出"馒头"一词 老婆描述：圆圆的，白白的，能吃的 老公：………… 老婆继续描述：就是白白的，软软的，你昨晚上还吃来着！ 老公看来是急坏了，脱口而出："mimi！" 李咏都笑趴下了。。。。。
5
要钱 一次乘公交车回家，上车后发现钱包里没有一元零钞，一着急，便掏出一张十元大票进投币口。后来越想越觉得窝囊，便跟司机商量，能不能让我守在门口，将下一站乘客本应投进投币口的钱据为己有？司机同意了。 车很快驶到下一站，很多人争着上车。我挡在门口，对第一位乘客说：“把钱给我。”对方一愣：“凭啥？”三言两语也解释不请，我就说：“给我就行了，别的不用管。”对方瞅瞅司机，司机点头默许。于是，一元钱到手。依法炮制，很快收了八个一元钱。接着上来一位大汉，虎背熊腰，剃着板寸，露着刺青。见我拦着他，怒道：“干吗呢?哥们儿？”我说：“一会儿再跟你说，先把钱给我。”对方眼珠子都圆了：“说啥呢？”我说：“把钱给我！”对方张大了嘴，冲司机问：“这小子干吗的？”大汉堵在门口，后面的人上不来，而车厢里的人急着发车，所以大家七嘴八舌地嚷起来了：“啰唆什么呢！快给钱！”大汉很快瘪了下去。只见他从口袋里掏出钱包递过来，哭丧着脸说：“老大，身上就这点钱，你们人多，我服了.
6
今天下午和一群女同事聊天，突然有人说我不是男人 我火了，我说，你说我不是，我掏出来给你看 女生都笑了，有一个最牛，说，你掏啊~~~~~~~~~~ 我就把身份证掏出来了
7、
同学状态上写着：哥的ip4太给力了，摔了三次都没事儿！下面立刻有人回复：这倒霉的孩子，买到山寨货了~~1、
一男子入厕，刚把门关上，就听隔壁问：你来了？
他说：是啊．可心里想，这隔壁是谁啊？我认识他吗？奇怪！
这时隔壁又问：你来干吗啊？
他很生气的说：拉屎啊！来这能干吗？！
隔壁又问，那你什么时候走啊？
他想：这人估计是有神经病！他懊恼的说：拉完就走！！
这时隔壁又问：那一会你来我这里一下吧，好吗？
此人心里一惊：ＣＡＯ！原来是同性恋！
他大骂道：你ＴＭＤ去死吧，变态！
隔壁又说：恩，先挂了吧，一会再给你打过去，我旁边来了个变态！老ＴＭＤ跟我接话茬！！
2
一女走夜路,突然看到一男张开双臂向她走来,做拥抱状,上前就是一脚.男子倒地大哭,说:都第三块了,我招谁惹谁了,带块玻璃回家就这么难么?
3
葛优上厕所 一次，葛优请朋友吃饭，中途上了趟厕所，回来时，裤子湿了一大块。 朋友：你的裤子怎么湿啦？ 葛优：自从我成名之后经常这样。 朋友：经常这样？ 葛优：可不是！经常是旁边的人撒着尿突然转过来大叫：“ 这不是葛优吗！”
4
幸运52发生的真实笑话,李咏都笑趴下了! PART1: 一对夫妻，猜食品名称，老婆比划老公猜。大屏幕上跳出"馒头"一词 老婆描述：圆圆的，白白的，能吃的 老公：………… 老婆继续描述：就是白白的，软软的，你昨晚上还吃来着！ 老公看来是急坏了，脱口而出："mimi！" 李咏都笑趴下了。。。。。
5
要钱 一次乘公交车回家，上车后发现钱包里没有一元零钞，一着急，便掏出一张十元大票进投币口。后来越想越觉得窝囊，便跟司机商量，能不能让我守在门口，将下一站乘客本应投进投币口的钱据为己有？司机同意了。 车很快驶到下一站，很多人争着上车。我挡在门口，对第一位乘客说：“把钱给我。”对方一愣：“凭啥？”三言两语也解释不请，我就说：“给我就行了，别的不用管。”对方瞅瞅司机，司机点头默许。于是，一元钱到手。依法炮制，很快收了八个一元钱。接着上来一位大汉，虎背熊腰，剃着板寸，露着刺青。见我拦着他，怒道：“干吗呢?哥们儿？”我说：“一会儿再跟你说，先把钱给我。”对方眼珠子都圆了：“说啥呢？”我说：“把钱给我！”对方张大了嘴，冲司机问：“这小子干吗的？”大汉堵在门口，后面的人上不来，而车厢里的人急着发车，所以大家七嘴八舌地嚷起来了：“啰唆什么呢！快给钱！”大汉很快瘪了下去。只见他从口袋里掏出钱包递过来，哭丧着脸说：“老大，身上就这点钱，你们人多，我服了.
6
今天下午和一群女同事聊天，突然有人说我不是男人 我火了，我说，你说我不是，我掏出来给你看 女生都笑了，有一个最牛，说，你掏啊~~~~~~~~~~ 我就把身份证掏出来了
7、
同学状态上写着：哥的ip4太给力了，摔了三次都没事儿！下面立刻有人回复：这倒霉的孩子，买到山寨货了~~
6里的哥们人柴啊
还是6强。
夲夲 发表于 2011-7-13 14:39 ![]()
6里的哥们人柴啊
我觉得还是4楼的哥们有勇气~
6里的哥们人柴啊
我觉得还是4楼的哥们有勇气~
xjy0791 发表于 2011-7-13 15:59 ![]()
还是6强。
4楼也蛮强嘛，，公众面前说mimi~~
还是6强。
4楼也蛮强嘛，，公众面前说mimi~~
苹果的帖子特好笑，
肚子痛支持一下*^o^*
不错不错。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
苹果咋开始发冷笑话了？
苹果辛苦。。。。。
虽然有老的 但是6不错
苹果啊，苹果！
你这两天就和卫生间纠结吧
你这两天就和卫生间纠结吧
苹果最近很热衷该平房啊……盖栋楼房我们也好灌水啊
能吃的~~~~~~~~{:soso_e113:}
还是6强。
苹果咋开始发冷笑话了？
还是苹果的搞笑
夲夲 发表于 2011-7-13 14:39 ![]()
6里的哥们人柴啊
有女人说我，你是不是男人啊？
我无奈的回答：问这个，真让我蛋疼！
6里的哥们人柴啊
有女人说我，你是不是男人啊？
我无奈的回答：问这个，真让我蛋疼！
唉，蛋疼的问题啊
zhang0242319 发表于 2011-7-14 22:36 ![]()
有女人说我，你是不是男人啊？
我无奈的回答：问这个，真让我蛋疼！
这个不够曲折
有女人说我，你是不是男人啊？
我无奈的回答：问这个，真让我蛋疼！
这个不够曲折
第六个里面的人才那。。。
第五个5强
支持一下苹果
苹果辛苦。。。。。
the reporter Dong Shijie
intern Wang Ying Yu
correspondent Qi Dream Friends
yesterday morning, who lives in the town of Pingshan South Austin with his wife, Li Ming cover Xia, Ning cover her child, went to the local vice squad came thanks. Before the suspect cow two (cover Xia's ex-husband, Wutai County, Shanxi Province) gathered others, rushed to the town of Pingshan South Austin, will cover both were taken to the Xia Wutai County of Shanxi Province, and Li extortion 100,000 dollars. Alarm, Ping Shan, Shanxi police arrived and arrested the cow two, save the back cover Xia mother.
mother in broad daylight abduction
1 月 8 morning 8 am, cover Xia (female, 28 years old, Pingshan people), as usual, sent her son cover Ning (7 years) to go to kindergarten. Half-way, four large men suddenly jumped out from the roadside, of which three were covered with clothes, blindfolded Xia's head, another person picked up the cover rather, four people will even pull mother and son with a pulled into a van. Although both were struggling for help, but I got a few big hands firmly pressed, the van pull away.
van traveling on the mountain a few hours later, a small village in a remote stop, Meng Xia, head of the clothes in the cover is removed, she was looking hard to see, it was found to ex-husband's home in two cattle - White House Town, Wutai County, Shanxi Province. At this point, Xia cattle two to cover the front, sneered: Subsequently, the cattle two to cover Xia both were imprisoned at home.
opening suspects demanded 100,000
cover Li Xia's current husband, the town in the South Austin distribution of solar water heaters, home that night did not see his wife, calling her cell phone,casque dr dre, turned off . Li ran over nursery asked that his son did not come that day.
Li under this panic, and he in the town around to find the whereabouts of his wife, a well-meaning villagers will see the morning to tell him. Li at a loss, they got family and friends to discuss countermeasures. At that moment, he received a phone call, the microphone of a man fiercely Li said,Casque Beats By Dr Dre, to bring 10 million dollars to the White House Town, Wutai County, Shanxi Province village to meet each other, then a finished and hung broken. Li felt something serious, inform the local public security organ of the matter.
robbed mother Shanxi rescued
South Austin to determine the vice squad, most likely the suspect's ex-husband is covered Xia cattle II. Immediately, squadron leader Zhang Han led the police rushed to Shanxi. Due to ice mountain, more than 200 kilometers away, they take nearly seven hours.
1 月 14 evening, in coordination with local police, the police confirmed that mother and child on the cover Xia two in cattle. That night, the police launched rescue operations. First, the local police control of the cattle Second,Casque Monster, another way police guard in front of two cow,casque monster beats, to prevent people know the truth of the siege, the police opened the third road directly to the cattle two police cars outside, police used the cover Xia Hirayama, then called the name of covered Xia hear the accent, is the window to see police officers,Dr Dre Casque, hold on to his son jumped out of the door police car, was moved to tears.
ex-husband was a door-law
It covers Xia introduced in July 2001, introduced her to her 10-year-old cattle two married into the family silver to cover the door-law, but the two no registration of the marriage. The next year, gave birth to a son cover Ning. After the two often argue for domestic chores, over time, emotional crisis. Subsequently, the cattle two to five counties alone back home, mother and child on the cover Xia indifferent.
2009 October cover local Xia Li took out a marriage, the family flies pretty well.
cattle that covered two married Xia and Li, felt at a disadvantage, so he gathered a mother and three accomplices stole the cover Xia.
Currently, cattle two suspects have been arrested,casque dr dre, the case has been transferred to Shanxi police.
(parties to the case were not his real name)
intern Wang Ying Yu
correspondent Qi Dream Friends
yesterday morning, who lives in the town of Pingshan South Austin with his wife, Li Ming cover Xia, Ning cover her child, went to the local vice squad came thanks. Before the suspect cow two (cover Xia's ex-husband, Wutai County, Shanxi Province) gathered others, rushed to the town of Pingshan South Austin, will cover both were taken to the Xia Wutai County of Shanxi Province, and Li extortion 100,000 dollars. Alarm, Ping Shan, Shanxi police arrived and arrested the cow two, save the back cover Xia mother.
mother in broad daylight abduction
1 月 8 morning 8 am, cover Xia (female, 28 years old, Pingshan people), as usual, sent her son cover Ning (7 years) to go to kindergarten. Half-way, four large men suddenly jumped out from the roadside, of which three were covered with clothes, blindfolded Xia's head, another person picked up the cover rather, four people will even pull mother and son with a pulled into a van. Although both were struggling for help, but I got a few big hands firmly pressed, the van pull away.
van traveling on the mountain a few hours later, a small village in a remote stop, Meng Xia, head of the clothes in the cover is removed, she was looking hard to see, it was found to ex-husband's home in two cattle - White House Town, Wutai County, Shanxi Province. At this point, Xia cattle two to cover the front, sneered: Subsequently, the cattle two to cover Xia both were imprisoned at home.
opening suspects demanded 100,000
cover Li Xia's current husband, the town in the South Austin distribution of solar water heaters, home that night did not see his wife, calling her cell phone,casque dr dre, turned off . Li ran over nursery asked that his son did not come that day.
Li under this panic, and he in the town around to find the whereabouts of his wife, a well-meaning villagers will see the morning to tell him. Li at a loss, they got family and friends to discuss countermeasures. At that moment, he received a phone call, the microphone of a man fiercely Li said,Casque Beats By Dr Dre, to bring 10 million dollars to the White House Town, Wutai County, Shanxi Province village to meet each other, then a finished and hung broken. Li felt something serious, inform the local public security organ of the matter.
robbed mother Shanxi rescued
South Austin to determine the vice squad, most likely the suspect's ex-husband is covered Xia cattle II. Immediately, squadron leader Zhang Han led the police rushed to Shanxi. Due to ice mountain, more than 200 kilometers away, they take nearly seven hours.
1 月 14 evening, in coordination with local police, the police confirmed that mother and child on the cover Xia two in cattle. That night, the police launched rescue operations. First, the local police control of the cattle Second,Casque Monster, another way police guard in front of two cow,casque monster beats, to prevent people know the truth of the siege, the police opened the third road directly to the cattle two police cars outside, police used the cover Xia Hirayama, then called the name of covered Xia hear the accent, is the window to see police officers,Dr Dre Casque, hold on to his son jumped out of the door police car, was moved to tears.
ex-husband was a door-law
It covers Xia introduced in July 2001, introduced her to her 10-year-old cattle two married into the family silver to cover the door-law, but the two no registration of the marriage. The next year, gave birth to a son cover Ning. After the two often argue for domestic chores, over time, emotional crisis. Subsequently, the cattle two to five counties alone back home, mother and child on the cover Xia indifferent.
2009 October cover local Xia Li took out a marriage, the family flies pretty well.
cattle that covered two married Xia and Li, felt at a disadvantage, so he gathered a mother and three accomplices stole the cover Xia.
Currently, cattle two suspects have been arrested,casque dr dre, the case has been transferred to Shanxi police.
(parties to the case were not his real name)