超级军网ZT龙腾 外嫁女无法适应美国生活 如何真正的适应呢？
来源：百度文库 编辑：超级军网 时间：2024/04/29 12:06:19
正文翻译
1# bob23 （楼主）
Hey, my wife and I are 23 and 22 and met while I was studying in China (almost 4 years ago) and have been married for a year and a half. We are both currently college students in the U.S.
嘿，我老婆和我分别23和22岁，相识在我留学中国期间（大约四年前），已经结婚一年半了。我们目前都是美国的大学生。
I really understand Chinese culture and her family really likes me, and while we are in China everything is great. Yet she can't seem to adjust to life in the U.S. at all. I mean I understand how some of you are 40 or 50 and marry a 30 year old Chinese woman and her English is so so etc and so I perfectly understand why it would be hard for them to adjust to American life given all of the assumptions that go along with that (language prob, moving to the U.S.. at an older age, maybe even age difference). But why is my wife having such a horrible horrible time adjusting?
我真的了解中国文化，她家人也很喜欢我，在中国的时候一切都很棒。但她似乎还是不能适应在美国的生活。我能理解你们中的一些人，都四五十岁了和三十岁的中国女人结婚，而她的英语平平，所以我十分理解即使一切就绪（语言测试，迁居美国......在较大的年纪，甚至年龄差距），为什么对他们来说适应美国生活很难。但是为什么我的妻子的适应情况如此糟糕？
She won't eat any western food aside from maybe a hamburger once in awhile, she won't watch English TV (unless it is subtitled in Chinese), she seems to look down on all Americans now... the list goes on.
她不会吃任何西方食物，除了也许偶尔吃个汉堡，她不会看英语电视节目（除非有中文字幕），现在她似乎瞧不起所有的美国人......不胜枚举。
This is a person that goes to one of the top 3 journalism schools in the U.S.... her English is very very good, she has studied and liked western culture since she was 5 years old, and yet only 3 or 4 months into the U.S.. she couldn't stand it (18 months in the U.S. so far).
这个人她是美国排名前三的新闻院校之一的学生......她的英语非常非常好，她从五岁就在学习并喜爱西方文化， 但是只在美国呆过三四个月......她受不了（目前在美国十八个月了）。
-------------译者：loriana777-------------
I have tried to be supportive, tried to work my butt off so I can transfer to a more Asian friendly place for law school (in Florida now), yet all she can think about is moving back to China.
我试着支持她。辛苦工作这样我就能转学到对亚裔更加友好的地方的法学院了（现在在佛罗里达），但她还是一心想要搬回中国去。
Can someone please help me out? I am willing to do whatever I can to help her. But she thinks Chinese Americans are morons, foreign students are egocentric, and blah blah blah. What can I do???
有人能给我出出主意吗？我已经竭尽所能帮助她了，但是他觉得华裔美国人都是低能儿，外国学生自私自利……我到底该怎么办哪？
Thanks
谢！
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评论翻译
2# Turbo SS1414
Really dont have any advice for you, but I also went to school in Florida and I also thought most of the foreign students were really egocentric
Good luck
真帮不上你什么忙，但是我也去佛罗里达州念书了，我也觉得大多数外国学生确实很自私。
祝你好运！
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3# dnoblett
Two words "Home Sick"
Keep in mind she left ALL her friends behind.
My wife has been here 4 years and still has not adjusted to western food, this is normal.
两个字“想家”了。
你要记住她可是背井离乡啊。
我老婆来美国四年了还不适应西餐，很正常。
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4# warpedbored
It takes about 2 years before they seem to start accepting life here in the US. Of course Chinese will always be better than American. Tell her to suck it up and bear it out. You can always move back to China later. I would think a journalism degree from a top university in America, coupled with excellent English skills could land her a good job in China. CCTV-9 for instance.
开始适应美国生活要花两年时间。当然中国人比美国人要好些。让她多理解多忍耐。你什么时候都可以回国嘛。我觉得要是她在美国顶尖大学获得新闻学学位，英语又特别好的话，回国总能找到一份好工作的，比如CCTV—9。
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5# credzba
@1#
Before I get slammed.. these are only MY opinions. From my view point, there are few advantage, and many disadvantage to living in America.
在你们喷我之前……我先说几句，仅代表个人观点：在美国生活利少弊多。
1) I make more money, much more, that is why we're here in America, but at the same time the taxes and expenses heavily impact our net saving. So, while its an advantage it is not huge.
比起在中国能赚多得多的钱，所以我们来美国了。但同时交税和花费也大大地影响我们净存款。综上，这是个不太明显的优势。
2) All my human network resources in China drift away, and as the network falls apart, so do my long term job opportunities at home.
我在中国的所有人际关系都在逐渐淡漠，我在国内的长期工作机会也越来越少。
3) Our extended family is in China, and while we talk on the phone often, and go home at least once a year, it is too far and not enough family contact. Many Chinese don't get home even once a year.. I should consider us lucky in this regard, but it doesn't change the fact it isn't enough to us.
中国基本是大家庭，当我们经常需要打电话，一年回去一次的时候，太遥远了而且缺乏家庭联系。许多中国人甚至一年不回家一次……考虑到他们，我们还算幸运，但是这也改变不了缺乏亲情的事实。
4) The food in America tastes terrible, imagine from your view point if the food taste was between pigs brains, and chicken feet EVERY DAY! Yes you can eat it, but how long?!? If you were in China and we had these things every day, how what would YOU want to eat?
美国食物味道很糟，设想一下每天你吃的口味都介于猪脑子和鸡脚之间！你能吃得下，但能吃几天呢？！？如果你是中国人，咱们每天都吃这些，你怎么可能吃得下呢嘿？
5)Everywhere I go requires a car. I exercise less, and eat more fatty food so my health is worse. Sure a car is prestigious, but this is ridiculous. Why can't I get anywhere on a bus or bike?
不管去哪都要开车。动的少吃得多健康状况就变差了。有辆汽车是很威风，但是也很可笑。为啥我不能坐公交或者骑自行车到每个我想去的地方？
6) Nothing works like I expect, from paying bills to seeing people on the street, America feels different. When I walk down the street I feel like I am in a ghost town! I can't use cash for ANYTHING, no wonder the US currency is in trouble, everyone uses credit card or online banking. Where do the neighbors go? Who are they anyway, and why aren't they Chinese like every OTHER person I ever met?
和以前期待的不同，在美国不管是付账单还是在街上看到人都很不一样。我走在街上，觉得自己好像置身于一个幽灵都市！神马东西都不能用现金买。毫无疑问美国的货币流通有问题，人人都用信用卡或者网银。邻居们去哪了？不管他们到底是谁，为什么他们不像以前我曾经遇到的每一个中国人那样呢？
-------------译者：husama-------------
7) Television... try watching only Chinese tv, if Chinese is your second language. Even if your Chinese is VERY good, your ears get tired of listening to the foreign sounds, and your brain gets tired of working. The content of the shows is not anything I am interested in, the people in the shows don't look like I expect... Watching American tv is just a reason to learn English. Like studying for a test. Do YOU like to study when your supposed to be relaxing?
说到电视……试着只看中文电视节目，如果中文是你的第二语言。即是你的中文很好，你的耳朵也会对这些外国语言感到疲惫，你的脑子也会累得停转。节目不是你感兴趣的，而里面的人也不是我期待的样子……很多人看美国电视只是为了学英语，比如为了考试而学习英语。当你想要娱乐的时候你还会做这种实际上是在学习的事吗?
8) As for thinking American are morons .. the definition of a moron is someone who does something that looks stupid from my view. The way people interrelate, pay their bills, live their lives, it is all stupid. Why do they all have credit card debt? Why can't I buy fresh food instead of frozen junk at grocery store? Where are the food vendors? Why can't I just pay the policman to avoid the problem? Why can't I negotiate the price of these expensive things at stores? WHATS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE?!?
至于说老美都是傻瓜蛋，在我而言傻瓜蛋的定义就是那些做蠢事的人。人们相互联系，付账单、生活的方式，都蠢翻了。为什么他们的信用卡上都欠着账呢？为什么我在食杂点里只能买一些冰冻垃圾而不是新鲜食物呢？那些食品供应商哪去了？为什么我不能给钱警察去解决问题？为什么面对高价商品我不能讨价还价？到底这些地方都有神马毛病？！？
9) I just saw this link: http://candleforlove...l=&fromsearch=1 .. YES Americans are crazy. I would NEVER be subjected to this in China !!
我刚刚看到这链接里面的内容 http://candleforlove...l=&fromsearch=1 ..
是的，美国很疯狂。我在中国就从来不会遭受这些。
Perhaps slightly overstated, but I hope you get the idea?
If NOTHING is as you expect it, of course you want to return to a familiar place. You cannot imagine how close to tears I come some days just dealing with America because I just want to go home (toi China) where things work as I expect...
Oh, and I am the American in our relationship You should hear my wife's view !!
也许这有点夸张，但我希望你能懂?
如果这儿没有任何东西是你期待的，当然你会想回祖国。你不能想象这些天来我在跟美国人搞这点屁事都快要哭了，因为我想回家，回到事物能像我期待那样运转的地方去……
噢，顺便说一句，我在我们的关系里头还是扮演美国人的角色。你还没听到我妻子的意见呢!!!
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6# amberjack1234
@5#
Son of a gun bubba after reading your post here you have me almost in tears for you. If I were you I would be on the next flight out, damn the money it will never make up for your happiness. As for the OP all I can say is that America is not for everyone. Your baby may never adjust. Sorry. Everyone is different. When my wife came here she was like she had lived here all of her life. She had 0 problems of adjusting. I was actually worried about her because of it but she insisted that she was great and had no issues what so ever. The only thing that I can remember is learning to drive. She does not drive now even after 10 years. She made 98 on the test and passed the drivers exam the first time out but she knows that she is not a good driver and will not drive. I do wish you good luck it does look like you and she could have a profitable and bright future in America but like I told credzba money won't buy happiness. Larry
狗娘养的，老弟，我看了你的帖子几乎要为你痛哭了。如果我是你，我就坐下一趟飞机立马回国。去他妈的银子，金钱永远补偿不了你的快乐。像开头说的那样，美国不是人人都适合的。你的宝贝可能永远不会适应。对不起，但我还是要说，每个人都是不同的。当我老婆来这儿的时候，她就像在这活了一辈子似的，一点问题都没。我曾经也担心过这点，但她坚持说她很棒没有任何适应性问题。唯一一件事就是学车，她现在不开车十年后也不会开。她第一次考车就得98分通过了，但她知道她不是个好司机所以不会再开车。我祝你幸运，她也能在美国有美好的未来。但正如我告诉 credzba 的那样，金钱买不来快活。
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7# chilton747
Home is where the heart is. Sounds like her home is in China. Good luck!
心之所属，家之所在。好像是她中国老家的一句话。祝你好运！
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8# dnoblett
@7#
You can take the girl out of China, but you cannot take China out of the girl!
你可以把妞从中国带走，但你不能将中国血脉从妞身上剥离。
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9# credzba
@8#
and would anyone want to?
会有人这样想吗？
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-------------译者：anyan7654-------------
10# david_dawei
Credzba...
that was as good as it gets. One might add to the list:
10) Why do phone companies charge me for minutes I don't ever use; I only want to pay for minutes I used !
11) Why can't I walk across the street or call a friend to just pay another 100 RMB to charge my phone minutes
12) Where do all the fish heads go... that is the only part I want?
13) You want an ID for what?
14) Why can't I buy any fireworks, I've handled them since 5 years old?
15) One should buy their fish by the pound, not their super-sized soda
16) Why can't I ask someone to do something without 100 questions and everyone's opinion. Just do it and stop talking. The US does not take a common sense approach to life; a more puritanical and legalistic one. It's turning into a kind of police state. Someone recently mentioned to me that England is almost there. Our western paranoia is going too far. One lives are more mechanistic than natural here. Let's just call it our walk to the dark side.
----
I would talk to her openly and ask her what are some solutions she sees; what does she want you two guys to do? Can you come up with 2,5,10 year plans? Maybe she doesn't want that much structure; she just wants normalcy.
Where are you in FL?
Credzba... 就像你已经得到的一样好，把这些加入到清单里去
10)为什么电话公司多算时间多收费费，我只想付我真正打的电话费？
11）为什么我不能走到街对面或者叫朋友去充值另外100元的电话费？
12）鱼头都去哪里了？我只是想要鱼头而已
13）你为了什么需要一个身份号？
14）为什么我不能买烟花，我从5岁开始就可以玩烟花了
15）一个应该按重量来买鱼，而不是其超大的苏打（真心不理解）
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-------------译者：liufangfang1234-------------
11# credzba
Bob, Something important just occurred to me.
You and your sweetie either need to plan to live life in America, or you need to reconsider your degree! Lawyers in China MUST be Chinese citizens.
I hope you guys can figure it out. Perhaps you can find a Chinese neighborhood to live in. San Fransisco has one, of course, Houston Tx. has a good one I understand, perhaps others can give you more places. Bob
我倒是想起了一些重要的东西
或者是你和你的爱人需要计划在美国生活，亦或是你得重新考虑你的学位。
中国的律师必须得是中国公民
愿你小子能早点决解这问题啦.或许你可以找一个华人社区去居住，旧金山就有一个，当然了，我还知道休斯敦也有个不错的这种社区，没准其他人还能给你提供更多这样的地方。
One comfort we have is we have a life plan, what we will do while here in America so we CAN move home, how we will move home, and when. We get encouragement on bad days by talking about how we're doing on the plan. If your plan is to finish your degree, and move to SF (or wherever) then you can start saving to buy a place there, visit the place to know its the right place for you, plan for a future you can both love to live at. Best wishes.
我们安慰自己说我们是有生活计划的，我们在这要做些什么才能搬家， 该怎么搬？要什么时候搬？当我们心情不好的时候，通过谈论该如何实现我们的计划还能够获得些许的鼓励。要是你完成了你的学位然后搬去旧金山（随便什么别的地方）那时你就可以开始攒钱在那买房子，找一个适合的地方描绘一幅蓝图 送上最诚挚的祝福
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12# david_dawei
@11#
This is a great point to raise as they consider their options...
But there are subtle ways around this. I know someone who worked in china for a law firm as one of the 'helpers'. Later went to the US to get his law degree and now is considering how to help chinese companies with US law and patent issues. He is fluent in chinese and so bridges the legal gap.
I can put Bob in touch with this person if needed.
对于他们的抉择这是个重点
但也有些微妙的办法来解决这类问题啦，我知道一些人在中国的律师事务所以一个“助手”的身份工作，然后去美国获得法律学位，现在正在考虑怎么用美国律法和专利帮助中国公司解决一些问题。他可以讲一口i流利的中文，也是搭建双方法律隔阂的“桥梁”如果需要的话，我可以让Bob和这个人取得联系.。
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-------------译者：qwe14789cn-------------
13# bob23（楼主）
@12#
Yeah, I knew about the Chinese citizen thing, and it is something that I worry about more and more. I was also considering going the "helper" route, but there is also talk of letting foreigners take the Chinese law exam so there is still some hope... I have also been considering trying to get into the foreign service as a visa officer.. but 48k a year... even in China can make it hard to pay off a law school student loan. It will be awhile before I get a law degree but the more contacts the better.
是的，我了解一些关于中国公民的事，同时这也是我越来越担心的。我也考虑过选择“帮助”的方式，但是让外国人来参加中国的法律考试的希望还是有的......我同时也在考虑尝试以一个签证官的身份进入驻外办事处....
但是48000的年薪，即使在中国也很难偿还法学院的助学贷款。得到法律学位还得过一段时间，联络人（关系）当然越多越好（便于获得工作机会）。
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14# bob23
I am in Gainesville at the moment, but I really want to head out west or the northeast. Gainesville is just a really crap town even though there are tons of chinese students. We have been talking a lot about making a plan as to what we will do and when but it is just so hard to make her come up with one that doesn't involve moving back to china in the next year or so. I have already told her I am willing to move there for 20+ years if the d visa ever becomes an option (d visa is almost impossible I know, so it isn't too big of a concern for me.. z will work if it is with an honest company) and or I am able to find a non English teaching job. My plan would be to live in the u.s. for 10 years and then live in china for 10 years ect... I don't want to destroy her Chinese culture... or my own that I seemed to have gained the last 4-5 years. I do have a lot of hope that we can work something out. Thanks for the idea to visit SF, she did seem a little happy to know she can eat some good sichuan food... at least while we are there that week lol.
当我住在盖恩斯维尔时( 美国东南部佛罗里达州中北部的城市)，我真的想前往西部或东北地区。 即使那里有成千上万的中国学生，盖恩斯维尔简直就像shi一样。我们一直在讨论制定一个什么时候去干什么的计划，但是让她想出一个在未来的一年里不返回中国的主意实在是太困难了。我已经告诉她我愿意搬到那里住20多年，如果定居签证能成为一个选择的话(定居签证几乎是不可能的,我明白,所以她对我不抱有过大的关注...如果他们是一个诚实的公司的话),或许我能找到一个非英语教学工作。我原计划是先在美国住10年,然后住在中国10年...我不想破坏她的中国文化……或者我自己在美国4～5年的文化。我有很多我们能一起做什么的希望。感谢你提出去旧金山的主意，当她知道可以吃一些美味的四川菜时，看起来也有点小高兴……
至少这星期我们会很欢乐
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-------------译者：cunzizi-------------
15# Turbo SS1414
@14#
Ha I got my masters at UF. Lived there for 2 years. Moved back to Oklahoma in May of 09. Bad timing. If it was now, I had several foreign chinese friends. I could have introduced your wife to them and maybe she would have been more comfortable. I only know one that still lives there and she is not typical chinese. She really likes to go out and party, get high, drink etc. She is working on her phd. She really doesnt like to hang out with chinese people because she says they are boring. So I cant really help you there. Just a couple of years too late.
哈，我在佛罗里达读的硕士，在那生活了两年，于2009年5月搬到俄克拉荷马。不好的时间。如果我还在，我可以给你老婆介绍几个中国朋友，她可能会呆的舒适点，我仅仅知道还有一个人住在那，她不是典型的中国人。她非常喜欢出去玩，找趴，然后弄high自己等等。她在读phd。她真的不喜欢喝中国人出去玩因为她说他们都无聊死了。所以我真心帮不上忙了。就迟了几年啊。
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16# bob23 （楼主）
@15#
Seriously? I moved from Oklahoma to Florida a few years ago (then went on a crazy trip around the world lol), although I still consider Oklahoma my home it just wouldn't work out too well with her lol. You a sooner fan?
真的？我几年前从俄克拉荷马搬到 佛罗里达（然后踏上环游世界的奇异旅程）虽然我还在考虑把俄克拉荷马当家但就是跟她意见相左哈哈。你是俄城双驾小马车队粉丝？（NCAA篮球）
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17# Turbo SS1414
@16#
Wow thats crazy. I actually went to Ok State so I am a cowboy fan. But anytime OU isnt playing OSU or Florida I root for them. Where in Oklahoma are you from? I am from Tulsa and thats where I live now.
回LS,哇，这太疯狂了，我其实去的俄克拉荷马州立大学所以我是牛仔队粉丝（ 俄州大校队NCAA篮球）但是OU没有一次打我支持的俄州大或佛罗里达。你住在俄克拉荷马哪里，我来自塔尔萨现在也住在那里。
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正文翻译
1# bob23 （楼主）
Hey, my wife and I are 23 and 22 and met while I was studying in China (almost 4 years ago) and have been married for a year and a half. We are both currently college students in the U.S.
嘿，我老婆和我分别23和22岁，相识在我留学中国期间（大约四年前），已经结婚一年半了。我们目前都是美国的大学生。
I really understand Chinese culture and her family really likes me, and while we are in China everything is great. Yet she can't seem to adjust to life in the U.S. at all. I mean I understand how some of you are 40 or 50 and marry a 30 year old Chinese woman and her English is so so etc and so I perfectly understand why it would be hard for them to adjust to American life given all of the assumptions that go along with that (language prob, moving to the U.S.. at an older age, maybe even age difference). But why is my wife having such a horrible horrible time adjusting?
我真的了解中国文化，她家人也很喜欢我，在中国的时候一切都很棒。但她似乎还是不能适应在美国的生活。我能理解你们中的一些人，都四五十岁了和三十岁的中国女人结婚，而她的英语平平，所以我十分理解即使一切就绪（语言测试，迁居美国......在较大的年纪，甚至年龄差距），为什么对他们来说适应美国生活很难。但是为什么我的妻子的适应情况如此糟糕？
She won't eat any western food aside from maybe a hamburger once in awhile, she won't watch English TV (unless it is subtitled in Chinese), she seems to look down on all Americans now... the list goes on.
她不会吃任何西方食物，除了也许偶尔吃个汉堡，她不会看英语电视节目（除非有中文字幕），现在她似乎瞧不起所有的美国人......不胜枚举。
This is a person that goes to one of the top 3 journalism schools in the U.S.... her English is very very good, she has studied and liked western culture since she was 5 years old, and yet only 3 or 4 months into the U.S.. she couldn't stand it (18 months in the U.S. so far).
这个人她是美国排名前三的新闻院校之一的学生......她的英语非常非常好，她从五岁就在学习并喜爱西方文化， 但是只在美国呆过三四个月......她受不了（目前在美国十八个月了）。
-------------译者：loriana777-------------
I have tried to be supportive, tried to work my butt off so I can transfer to a more Asian friendly place for law school (in Florida now), yet all she can think about is moving back to China.
我试着支持她。辛苦工作这样我就能转学到对亚裔更加友好的地方的法学院了（现在在佛罗里达），但她还是一心想要搬回中国去。
Can someone please help me out? I am willing to do whatever I can to help her. But she thinks Chinese Americans are morons, foreign students are egocentric, and blah blah blah. What can I do???
有人能给我出出主意吗？我已经竭尽所能帮助她了，但是他觉得华裔美国人都是低能儿，外国学生自私自利……我到底该怎么办哪？
Thanks
谢！
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评论翻译
2# Turbo SS1414
Really dont have any advice for you, but I also went to school in Florida and I also thought most of the foreign students were really egocentric
Good luck
真帮不上你什么忙，但是我也去佛罗里达州念书了，我也觉得大多数外国学生确实很自私。
祝你好运！
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3# dnoblett
Two words "Home Sick"
Keep in mind she left ALL her friends behind.
My wife has been here 4 years and still has not adjusted to western food, this is normal.
两个字“想家”了。
你要记住她可是背井离乡啊。
我老婆来美国四年了还不适应西餐，很正常。
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4# warpedbored
It takes about 2 years before they seem to start accepting life here in the US. Of course Chinese will always be better than American. Tell her to suck it up and bear it out. You can always move back to China later. I would think a journalism degree from a top university in America, coupled with excellent English skills could land her a good job in China. CCTV-9 for instance.
开始适应美国生活要花两年时间。当然中国人比美国人要好些。让她多理解多忍耐。你什么时候都可以回国嘛。我觉得要是她在美国顶尖大学获得新闻学学位，英语又特别好的话，回国总能找到一份好工作的，比如CCTV—9。
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5# credzba
@1#
Before I get slammed.. these are only MY opinions. From my view point, there are few advantage, and many disadvantage to living in America.
在你们喷我之前……我先说几句，仅代表个人观点：在美国生活利少弊多。
1) I make more money, much more, that is why we're here in America, but at the same time the taxes and expenses heavily impact our net saving. So, while its an advantage it is not huge.
比起在中国能赚多得多的钱，所以我们来美国了。但同时交税和花费也大大地影响我们净存款。综上，这是个不太明显的优势。
2) All my human network resources in China drift away, and as the network falls apart, so do my long term job opportunities at home.
我在中国的所有人际关系都在逐渐淡漠，我在国内的长期工作机会也越来越少。
3) Our extended family is in China, and while we talk on the phone often, and go home at least once a year, it is too far and not enough family contact. Many Chinese don't get home even once a year.. I should consider us lucky in this regard, but it doesn't change the fact it isn't enough to us.
中国基本是大家庭，当我们经常需要打电话，一年回去一次的时候，太遥远了而且缺乏家庭联系。许多中国人甚至一年不回家一次……考虑到他们，我们还算幸运，但是这也改变不了缺乏亲情的事实。
4) The food in America tastes terrible, imagine from your view point if the food taste was between pigs brains, and chicken feet EVERY DAY! Yes you can eat it, but how long?!? If you were in China and we had these things every day, how what would YOU want to eat?
美国食物味道很糟，设想一下每天你吃的口味都介于猪脑子和鸡脚之间！你能吃得下，但能吃几天呢？！？如果你是中国人，咱们每天都吃这些，你怎么可能吃得下呢嘿？
5)Everywhere I go requires a car. I exercise less, and eat more fatty food so my health is worse. Sure a car is prestigious, but this is ridiculous. Why can't I get anywhere on a bus or bike?
不管去哪都要开车。动的少吃得多健康状况就变差了。有辆汽车是很威风，但是也很可笑。为啥我不能坐公交或者骑自行车到每个我想去的地方？
6) Nothing works like I expect, from paying bills to seeing people on the street, America feels different. When I walk down the street I feel like I am in a ghost town! I can't use cash for ANYTHING, no wonder the US currency is in trouble, everyone uses credit card or online banking. Where do the neighbors go? Who are they anyway, and why aren't they Chinese like every OTHER person I ever met?
和以前期待的不同，在美国不管是付账单还是在街上看到人都很不一样。我走在街上，觉得自己好像置身于一个幽灵都市！神马东西都不能用现金买。毫无疑问美国的货币流通有问题，人人都用信用卡或者网银。邻居们去哪了？不管他们到底是谁，为什么他们不像以前我曾经遇到的每一个中国人那样呢？
-------------译者：husama-------------
7) Television... try watching only Chinese tv, if Chinese is your second language. Even if your Chinese is VERY good, your ears get tired of listening to the foreign sounds, and your brain gets tired of working. The content of the shows is not anything I am interested in, the people in the shows don't look like I expect... Watching American tv is just a reason to learn English. Like studying for a test. Do YOU like to study when your supposed to be relaxing?
说到电视……试着只看中文电视节目，如果中文是你的第二语言。即是你的中文很好，你的耳朵也会对这些外国语言感到疲惫，你的脑子也会累得停转。节目不是你感兴趣的，而里面的人也不是我期待的样子……很多人看美国电视只是为了学英语，比如为了考试而学习英语。当你想要娱乐的时候你还会做这种实际上是在学习的事吗?
8) As for thinking American are morons .. the definition of a moron is someone who does something that looks stupid from my view. The way people interrelate, pay their bills, live their lives, it is all stupid. Why do they all have credit card debt? Why can't I buy fresh food instead of frozen junk at grocery store? Where are the food vendors? Why can't I just pay the policman to avoid the problem? Why can't I negotiate the price of these expensive things at stores? WHATS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE?!?
至于说老美都是傻瓜蛋，在我而言傻瓜蛋的定义就是那些做蠢事的人。人们相互联系，付账单、生活的方式，都蠢翻了。为什么他们的信用卡上都欠着账呢？为什么我在食杂点里只能买一些冰冻垃圾而不是新鲜食物呢？那些食品供应商哪去了？为什么我不能给钱警察去解决问题？为什么面对高价商品我不能讨价还价？到底这些地方都有神马毛病？！？
9) I just saw this link: http://candleforlove...l=&fromsearch=1 .. YES Americans are crazy. I would NEVER be subjected to this in China !!
我刚刚看到这链接里面的内容 http://candleforlove...l=&fromsearch=1 ..
是的，美国很疯狂。我在中国就从来不会遭受这些。
Perhaps slightly overstated, but I hope you get the idea?
If NOTHING is as you expect it, of course you want to return to a familiar place. You cannot imagine how close to tears I come some days just dealing with America because I just want to go home (toi China) where things work as I expect...
Oh, and I am the American in our relationship You should hear my wife's view !!
也许这有点夸张，但我希望你能懂?
如果这儿没有任何东西是你期待的，当然你会想回祖国。你不能想象这些天来我在跟美国人搞这点屁事都快要哭了，因为我想回家，回到事物能像我期待那样运转的地方去……
噢，顺便说一句，我在我们的关系里头还是扮演美国人的角色。你还没听到我妻子的意见呢!!!
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6# amberjack1234
@5#
Son of a gun bubba after reading your post here you have me almost in tears for you. If I were you I would be on the next flight out, damn the money it will never make up for your happiness. As for the OP all I can say is that America is not for everyone. Your baby may never adjust. Sorry. Everyone is different. When my wife came here she was like she had lived here all of her life. She had 0 problems of adjusting. I was actually worried about her because of it but she insisted that she was great and had no issues what so ever. The only thing that I can remember is learning to drive. She does not drive now even after 10 years. She made 98 on the test and passed the drivers exam the first time out but she knows that she is not a good driver and will not drive. I do wish you good luck it does look like you and she could have a profitable and bright future in America but like I told credzba money won't buy happiness. Larry
狗娘养的，老弟，我看了你的帖子几乎要为你痛哭了。如果我是你，我就坐下一趟飞机立马回国。去他妈的银子，金钱永远补偿不了你的快乐。像开头说的那样，美国不是人人都适合的。你的宝贝可能永远不会适应。对不起，但我还是要说，每个人都是不同的。当我老婆来这儿的时候，她就像在这活了一辈子似的，一点问题都没。我曾经也担心过这点，但她坚持说她很棒没有任何适应性问题。唯一一件事就是学车，她现在不开车十年后也不会开。她第一次考车就得98分通过了，但她知道她不是个好司机所以不会再开车。我祝你幸运，她也能在美国有美好的未来。但正如我告诉 credzba 的那样，金钱买不来快活。
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7# chilton747
Home is where the heart is. Sounds like her home is in China. Good luck!
心之所属，家之所在。好像是她中国老家的一句话。祝你好运！
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8# dnoblett
@7#
You can take the girl out of China, but you cannot take China out of the girl!
你可以把妞从中国带走，但你不能将中国血脉从妞身上剥离。
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9# credzba
@8#
and would anyone want to?
会有人这样想吗？
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-------------译者：anyan7654-------------
10# david_dawei
Credzba...
that was as good as it gets. One might add to the list:
10) Why do phone companies charge me for minutes I don't ever use; I only want to pay for minutes I used !
11) Why can't I walk across the street or call a friend to just pay another 100 RMB to charge my phone minutes
12) Where do all the fish heads go... that is the only part I want?
13) You want an ID for what?
14) Why can't I buy any fireworks, I've handled them since 5 years old?
15) One should buy their fish by the pound, not their super-sized soda
16) Why can't I ask someone to do something without 100 questions and everyone's opinion. Just do it and stop talking. The US does not take a common sense approach to life; a more puritanical and legalistic one. It's turning into a kind of police state. Someone recently mentioned to me that England is almost there. Our western paranoia is going too far. One lives are more mechanistic than natural here. Let's just call it our walk to the dark side.
----
I would talk to her openly and ask her what are some solutions she sees; what does she want you two guys to do? Can you come up with 2,5,10 year plans? Maybe she doesn't want that much structure; she just wants normalcy.
Where are you in FL?
Credzba... 就像你已经得到的一样好，把这些加入到清单里去
10)为什么电话公司多算时间多收费费，我只想付我真正打的电话费？
11）为什么我不能走到街对面或者叫朋友去充值另外100元的电话费？
12）鱼头都去哪里了？我只是想要鱼头而已
13）你为了什么需要一个身份号？
14）为什么我不能买烟花，我从5岁开始就可以玩烟花了
15）一个应该按重量来买鱼，而不是其超大的苏打（真心不理解）
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-------------译者：liufangfang1234-------------
11# credzba
Bob, Something important just occurred to me.
You and your sweetie either need to plan to live life in America, or you need to reconsider your degree! Lawyers in China MUST be Chinese citizens.
I hope you guys can figure it out. Perhaps you can find a Chinese neighborhood to live in. San Fransisco has one, of course, Houston Tx. has a good one I understand, perhaps others can give you more places. Bob
我倒是想起了一些重要的东西
或者是你和你的爱人需要计划在美国生活，亦或是你得重新考虑你的学位。
中国的律师必须得是中国公民
愿你小子能早点决解这问题啦.或许你可以找一个华人社区去居住，旧金山就有一个，当然了，我还知道休斯敦也有个不错的这种社区，没准其他人还能给你提供更多这样的地方。
One comfort we have is we have a life plan, what we will do while here in America so we CAN move home, how we will move home, and when. We get encouragement on bad days by talking about how we're doing on the plan. If your plan is to finish your degree, and move to SF (or wherever) then you can start saving to buy a place there, visit the place to know its the right place for you, plan for a future you can both love to live at. Best wishes.
我们安慰自己说我们是有生活计划的，我们在这要做些什么才能搬家， 该怎么搬？要什么时候搬？当我们心情不好的时候，通过谈论该如何实现我们的计划还能够获得些许的鼓励。要是你完成了你的学位然后搬去旧金山（随便什么别的地方）那时你就可以开始攒钱在那买房子，找一个适合的地方描绘一幅蓝图 送上最诚挚的祝福
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12# david_dawei
@11#
This is a great point to raise as they consider their options...
But there are subtle ways around this. I know someone who worked in china for a law firm as one of the 'helpers'. Later went to the US to get his law degree and now is considering how to help chinese companies with US law and patent issues. He is fluent in chinese and so bridges the legal gap.
I can put Bob in touch with this person if needed.
对于他们的抉择这是个重点
但也有些微妙的办法来解决这类问题啦，我知道一些人在中国的律师事务所以一个“助手”的身份工作，然后去美国获得法律学位，现在正在考虑怎么用美国律法和专利帮助中国公司解决一些问题。他可以讲一口i流利的中文，也是搭建双方法律隔阂的“桥梁”如果需要的话，我可以让Bob和这个人取得联系.。
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-------------译者：qwe14789cn-------------
13# bob23（楼主）
@12#
Yeah, I knew about the Chinese citizen thing, and it is something that I worry about more and more. I was also considering going the "helper" route, but there is also talk of letting foreigners take the Chinese law exam so there is still some hope... I have also been considering trying to get into the foreign service as a visa officer.. but 48k a year... even in China can make it hard to pay off a law school student loan. It will be awhile before I get a law degree but the more contacts the better.
是的，我了解一些关于中国公民的事，同时这也是我越来越担心的。我也考虑过选择“帮助”的方式，但是让外国人来参加中国的法律考试的希望还是有的......我同时也在考虑尝试以一个签证官的身份进入驻外办事处....
但是48000的年薪，即使在中国也很难偿还法学院的助学贷款。得到法律学位还得过一段时间，联络人（关系）当然越多越好（便于获得工作机会）。
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14# bob23
I am in Gainesville at the moment, but I really want to head out west or the northeast. Gainesville is just a really crap town even though there are tons of chinese students. We have been talking a lot about making a plan as to what we will do and when but it is just so hard to make her come up with one that doesn't involve moving back to china in the next year or so. I have already told her I am willing to move there for 20+ years if the d visa ever becomes an option (d visa is almost impossible I know, so it isn't too big of a concern for me.. z will work if it is with an honest company) and or I am able to find a non English teaching job. My plan would be to live in the u.s. for 10 years and then live in china for 10 years ect... I don't want to destroy her Chinese culture... or my own that I seemed to have gained the last 4-5 years. I do have a lot of hope that we can work something out. Thanks for the idea to visit SF, she did seem a little happy to know she can eat some good sichuan food... at least while we are there that week lol.
当我住在盖恩斯维尔时( 美国东南部佛罗里达州中北部的城市)，我真的想前往西部或东北地区。 即使那里有成千上万的中国学生，盖恩斯维尔简直就像shi一样。我们一直在讨论制定一个什么时候去干什么的计划，但是让她想出一个在未来的一年里不返回中国的主意实在是太困难了。我已经告诉她我愿意搬到那里住20多年，如果定居签证能成为一个选择的话(定居签证几乎是不可能的,我明白,所以她对我不抱有过大的关注...如果他们是一个诚实的公司的话),或许我能找到一个非英语教学工作。我原计划是先在美国住10年,然后住在中国10年...我不想破坏她的中国文化……或者我自己在美国4～5年的文化。我有很多我们能一起做什么的希望。感谢你提出去旧金山的主意，当她知道可以吃一些美味的四川菜时，看起来也有点小高兴……
至少这星期我们会很欢乐
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-------------译者：cunzizi-------------
15# Turbo SS1414
@14#
Ha I got my masters at UF. Lived there for 2 years. Moved back to Oklahoma in May of 09. Bad timing. If it was now, I had several foreign chinese friends. I could have introduced your wife to them and maybe she would have been more comfortable. I only know one that still lives there and she is not typical chinese. She really likes to go out and party, get high, drink etc. She is working on her phd. She really doesnt like to hang out with chinese people because she says they are boring. So I cant really help you there. Just a couple of years too late.
哈，我在佛罗里达读的硕士，在那生活了两年，于2009年5月搬到俄克拉荷马。不好的时间。如果我还在，我可以给你老婆介绍几个中国朋友，她可能会呆的舒适点，我仅仅知道还有一个人住在那，她不是典型的中国人。她非常喜欢出去玩，找趴，然后弄high自己等等。她在读phd。她真的不喜欢喝中国人出去玩因为她说他们都无聊死了。所以我真心帮不上忙了。就迟了几年啊。
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16# bob23 （楼主）
@15#
Seriously? I moved from Oklahoma to Florida a few years ago (then went on a crazy trip around the world lol), although I still consider Oklahoma my home it just wouldn't work out too well with her lol. You a sooner fan?
真的？我几年前从俄克拉荷马搬到 佛罗里达（然后踏上环游世界的奇异旅程）虽然我还在考虑把俄克拉荷马当家但就是跟她意见相左哈哈。你是俄城双驾小马车队粉丝？（NCAA篮球）
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17# Turbo SS1414
@16#
Wow thats crazy. I actually went to Ok State so I am a cowboy fan. But anytime OU isnt playing OSU or Florida I root for them. Where in Oklahoma are you from? I am from Tulsa and thats where I live now.
回LS,哇，这太疯狂了，我其实去的俄克拉荷马州立大学所以我是牛仔队粉丝（ 俄州大校队NCAA篮球）但是OU没有一次打我支持的俄州大或佛罗里达。你住在俄克拉荷马哪里，我来自塔尔萨现在也住在那里。
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1# bob23 （楼主）
Hey, my wife and I are 23 and 22 and met while I was studying in China (almost 4 years ago) and have been married for a year and a half. We are both currently college students in the U.S.
嘿，我老婆和我分别23和22岁，相识在我留学中国期间（大约四年前），已经结婚一年半了。我们目前都是美国的大学生。
I really understand Chinese culture and her family really likes me, and while we are in China everything is great. Yet she can't seem to adjust to life in the U.S. at all. I mean I understand how some of you are 40 or 50 and marry a 30 year old Chinese woman and her English is so so etc and so I perfectly understand why it would be hard for them to adjust to American life given all of the assumptions that go along with that (language prob, moving to the U.S.. at an older age, maybe even age difference). But why is my wife having such a horrible horrible time adjusting?
我真的了解中国文化，她家人也很喜欢我，在中国的时候一切都很棒。但她似乎还是不能适应在美国的生活。我能理解你们中的一些人，都四五十岁了和三十岁的中国女人结婚，而她的英语平平，所以我十分理解即使一切就绪（语言测试，迁居美国......在较大的年纪，甚至年龄差距），为什么对他们来说适应美国生活很难。但是为什么我的妻子的适应情况如此糟糕？
She won't eat any western food aside from maybe a hamburger once in awhile, she won't watch English TV (unless it is subtitled in Chinese), she seems to look down on all Americans now... the list goes on.
她不会吃任何西方食物，除了也许偶尔吃个汉堡，她不会看英语电视节目（除非有中文字幕），现在她似乎瞧不起所有的美国人......不胜枚举。
This is a person that goes to one of the top 3 journalism schools in the U.S.... her English is very very good, she has studied and liked western culture since she was 5 years old, and yet only 3 or 4 months into the U.S.. she couldn't stand it (18 months in the U.S. so far).
这个人她是美国排名前三的新闻院校之一的学生......她的英语非常非常好，她从五岁就在学习并喜爱西方文化， 但是只在美国呆过三四个月......她受不了（目前在美国十八个月了）。
-------------译者：loriana777-------------
I have tried to be supportive, tried to work my butt off so I can transfer to a more Asian friendly place for law school (in Florida now), yet all she can think about is moving back to China.
我试着支持她。辛苦工作这样我就能转学到对亚裔更加友好的地方的法学院了（现在在佛罗里达），但她还是一心想要搬回中国去。
Can someone please help me out? I am willing to do whatever I can to help her. But she thinks Chinese Americans are morons, foreign students are egocentric, and blah blah blah. What can I do???
有人能给我出出主意吗？我已经竭尽所能帮助她了，但是他觉得华裔美国人都是低能儿，外国学生自私自利……我到底该怎么办哪？
Thanks
谢！
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评论翻译
2# Turbo SS1414
Really dont have any advice for you, but I also went to school in Florida and I also thought most of the foreign students were really egocentric
Good luck
真帮不上你什么忙，但是我也去佛罗里达州念书了，我也觉得大多数外国学生确实很自私。
祝你好运！
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3# dnoblett
Two words "Home Sick"
Keep in mind she left ALL her friends behind.
My wife has been here 4 years and still has not adjusted to western food, this is normal.
两个字“想家”了。
你要记住她可是背井离乡啊。
我老婆来美国四年了还不适应西餐，很正常。
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4# warpedbored
It takes about 2 years before they seem to start accepting life here in the US. Of course Chinese will always be better than American. Tell her to suck it up and bear it out. You can always move back to China later. I would think a journalism degree from a top university in America, coupled with excellent English skills could land her a good job in China. CCTV-9 for instance.
开始适应美国生活要花两年时间。当然中国人比美国人要好些。让她多理解多忍耐。你什么时候都可以回国嘛。我觉得要是她在美国顶尖大学获得新闻学学位，英语又特别好的话，回国总能找到一份好工作的，比如CCTV—9。
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5# credzba
@1#
Before I get slammed.. these are only MY opinions. From my view point, there are few advantage, and many disadvantage to living in America.
在你们喷我之前……我先说几句，仅代表个人观点：在美国生活利少弊多。
1) I make more money, much more, that is why we're here in America, but at the same time the taxes and expenses heavily impact our net saving. So, while its an advantage it is not huge.
比起在中国能赚多得多的钱，所以我们来美国了。但同时交税和花费也大大地影响我们净存款。综上，这是个不太明显的优势。
2) All my human network resources in China drift away, and as the network falls apart, so do my long term job opportunities at home.
我在中国的所有人际关系都在逐渐淡漠，我在国内的长期工作机会也越来越少。
3) Our extended family is in China, and while we talk on the phone often, and go home at least once a year, it is too far and not enough family contact. Many Chinese don't get home even once a year.. I should consider us lucky in this regard, but it doesn't change the fact it isn't enough to us.
中国基本是大家庭，当我们经常需要打电话，一年回去一次的时候，太遥远了而且缺乏家庭联系。许多中国人甚至一年不回家一次……考虑到他们，我们还算幸运，但是这也改变不了缺乏亲情的事实。
4) The food in America tastes terrible, imagine from your view point if the food taste was between pigs brains, and chicken feet EVERY DAY! Yes you can eat it, but how long?!? If you were in China and we had these things every day, how what would YOU want to eat?
美国食物味道很糟，设想一下每天你吃的口味都介于猪脑子和鸡脚之间！你能吃得下，但能吃几天呢？！？如果你是中国人，咱们每天都吃这些，你怎么可能吃得下呢嘿？
5)Everywhere I go requires a car. I exercise less, and eat more fatty food so my health is worse. Sure a car is prestigious, but this is ridiculous. Why can't I get anywhere on a bus or bike?
不管去哪都要开车。动的少吃得多健康状况就变差了。有辆汽车是很威风，但是也很可笑。为啥我不能坐公交或者骑自行车到每个我想去的地方？
6) Nothing works like I expect, from paying bills to seeing people on the street, America feels different. When I walk down the street I feel like I am in a ghost town! I can't use cash for ANYTHING, no wonder the US currency is in trouble, everyone uses credit card or online banking. Where do the neighbors go? Who are they anyway, and why aren't they Chinese like every OTHER person I ever met?
和以前期待的不同，在美国不管是付账单还是在街上看到人都很不一样。我走在街上，觉得自己好像置身于一个幽灵都市！神马东西都不能用现金买。毫无疑问美国的货币流通有问题，人人都用信用卡或者网银。邻居们去哪了？不管他们到底是谁，为什么他们不像以前我曾经遇到的每一个中国人那样呢？
-------------译者：husama-------------
7) Television... try watching only Chinese tv, if Chinese is your second language. Even if your Chinese is VERY good, your ears get tired of listening to the foreign sounds, and your brain gets tired of working. The content of the shows is not anything I am interested in, the people in the shows don't look like I expect... Watching American tv is just a reason to learn English. Like studying for a test. Do YOU like to study when your supposed to be relaxing?
说到电视……试着只看中文电视节目，如果中文是你的第二语言。即是你的中文很好，你的耳朵也会对这些外国语言感到疲惫，你的脑子也会累得停转。节目不是你感兴趣的，而里面的人也不是我期待的样子……很多人看美国电视只是为了学英语，比如为了考试而学习英语。当你想要娱乐的时候你还会做这种实际上是在学习的事吗?
8) As for thinking American are morons .. the definition of a moron is someone who does something that looks stupid from my view. The way people interrelate, pay their bills, live their lives, it is all stupid. Why do they all have credit card debt? Why can't I buy fresh food instead of frozen junk at grocery store? Where are the food vendors? Why can't I just pay the policman to avoid the problem? Why can't I negotiate the price of these expensive things at stores? WHATS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE?!?
至于说老美都是傻瓜蛋，在我而言傻瓜蛋的定义就是那些做蠢事的人。人们相互联系，付账单、生活的方式，都蠢翻了。为什么他们的信用卡上都欠着账呢？为什么我在食杂点里只能买一些冰冻垃圾而不是新鲜食物呢？那些食品供应商哪去了？为什么我不能给钱警察去解决问题？为什么面对高价商品我不能讨价还价？到底这些地方都有神马毛病？！？
9) I just saw this link: http://candleforlove...l=&fromsearch=1 .. YES Americans are crazy. I would NEVER be subjected to this in China !!
我刚刚看到这链接里面的内容 http://candleforlove...l=&fromsearch=1 ..
是的，美国很疯狂。我在中国就从来不会遭受这些。
Perhaps slightly overstated, but I hope you get the idea?
If NOTHING is as you expect it, of course you want to return to a familiar place. You cannot imagine how close to tears I come some days just dealing with America because I just want to go home (toi China) where things work as I expect...
Oh, and I am the American in our relationship You should hear my wife's view !!
也许这有点夸张，但我希望你能懂?
如果这儿没有任何东西是你期待的，当然你会想回祖国。你不能想象这些天来我在跟美国人搞这点屁事都快要哭了，因为我想回家，回到事物能像我期待那样运转的地方去……
噢，顺便说一句，我在我们的关系里头还是扮演美国人的角色。你还没听到我妻子的意见呢!!!
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6# amberjack1234
@5#
Son of a gun bubba after reading your post here you have me almost in tears for you. If I were you I would be on the next flight out, damn the money it will never make up for your happiness. As for the OP all I can say is that America is not for everyone. Your baby may never adjust. Sorry. Everyone is different. When my wife came here she was like she had lived here all of her life. She had 0 problems of adjusting. I was actually worried about her because of it but she insisted that she was great and had no issues what so ever. The only thing that I can remember is learning to drive. She does not drive now even after 10 years. She made 98 on the test and passed the drivers exam the first time out but she knows that she is not a good driver and will not drive. I do wish you good luck it does look like you and she could have a profitable and bright future in America but like I told credzba money won't buy happiness. Larry
狗娘养的，老弟，我看了你的帖子几乎要为你痛哭了。如果我是你，我就坐下一趟飞机立马回国。去他妈的银子，金钱永远补偿不了你的快乐。像开头说的那样，美国不是人人都适合的。你的宝贝可能永远不会适应。对不起，但我还是要说，每个人都是不同的。当我老婆来这儿的时候，她就像在这活了一辈子似的，一点问题都没。我曾经也担心过这点，但她坚持说她很棒没有任何适应性问题。唯一一件事就是学车，她现在不开车十年后也不会开。她第一次考车就得98分通过了，但她知道她不是个好司机所以不会再开车。我祝你幸运，她也能在美国有美好的未来。但正如我告诉 credzba 的那样，金钱买不来快活。
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7# chilton747
Home is where the heart is. Sounds like her home is in China. Good luck!
心之所属，家之所在。好像是她中国老家的一句话。祝你好运！
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8# dnoblett
@7#
You can take the girl out of China, but you cannot take China out of the girl!
你可以把妞从中国带走，但你不能将中国血脉从妞身上剥离。
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9# credzba
@8#
and would anyone want to?
会有人这样想吗？
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-------------译者：anyan7654-------------
10# david_dawei
Credzba...
that was as good as it gets. One might add to the list:
10) Why do phone companies charge me for minutes I don't ever use; I only want to pay for minutes I used !
11) Why can't I walk across the street or call a friend to just pay another 100 RMB to charge my phone minutes
12) Where do all the fish heads go... that is the only part I want?
13) You want an ID for what?
14) Why can't I buy any fireworks, I've handled them since 5 years old?
15) One should buy their fish by the pound, not their super-sized soda
16) Why can't I ask someone to do something without 100 questions and everyone's opinion. Just do it and stop talking. The US does not take a common sense approach to life; a more puritanical and legalistic one. It's turning into a kind of police state. Someone recently mentioned to me that England is almost there. Our western paranoia is going too far. One lives are more mechanistic than natural here. Let's just call it our walk to the dark side.
----
I would talk to her openly and ask her what are some solutions she sees; what does she want you two guys to do? Can you come up with 2,5,10 year plans? Maybe she doesn't want that much structure; she just wants normalcy.
Where are you in FL?
Credzba... 就像你已经得到的一样好，把这些加入到清单里去
10)为什么电话公司多算时间多收费费，我只想付我真正打的电话费？
11）为什么我不能走到街对面或者叫朋友去充值另外100元的电话费？
12）鱼头都去哪里了？我只是想要鱼头而已
13）你为了什么需要一个身份号？
14）为什么我不能买烟花，我从5岁开始就可以玩烟花了
15）一个应该按重量来买鱼，而不是其超大的苏打（真心不理解）
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-------------译者：liufangfang1234-------------
11# credzba
Bob, Something important just occurred to me.
You and your sweetie either need to plan to live life in America, or you need to reconsider your degree! Lawyers in China MUST be Chinese citizens.
I hope you guys can figure it out. Perhaps you can find a Chinese neighborhood to live in. San Fransisco has one, of course, Houston Tx. has a good one I understand, perhaps others can give you more places. Bob
我倒是想起了一些重要的东西
或者是你和你的爱人需要计划在美国生活，亦或是你得重新考虑你的学位。
中国的律师必须得是中国公民
愿你小子能早点决解这问题啦.或许你可以找一个华人社区去居住，旧金山就有一个，当然了，我还知道休斯敦也有个不错的这种社区，没准其他人还能给你提供更多这样的地方。
One comfort we have is we have a life plan, what we will do while here in America so we CAN move home, how we will move home, and when. We get encouragement on bad days by talking about how we're doing on the plan. If your plan is to finish your degree, and move to SF (or wherever) then you can start saving to buy a place there, visit the place to know its the right place for you, plan for a future you can both love to live at. Best wishes.
我们安慰自己说我们是有生活计划的，我们在这要做些什么才能搬家， 该怎么搬？要什么时候搬？当我们心情不好的时候，通过谈论该如何实现我们的计划还能够获得些许的鼓励。要是你完成了你的学位然后搬去旧金山（随便什么别的地方）那时你就可以开始攒钱在那买房子，找一个适合的地方描绘一幅蓝图 送上最诚挚的祝福
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12# david_dawei
@11#
This is a great point to raise as they consider their options...
But there are subtle ways around this. I know someone who worked in china for a law firm as one of the 'helpers'. Later went to the US to get his law degree and now is considering how to help chinese companies with US law and patent issues. He is fluent in chinese and so bridges the legal gap.
I can put Bob in touch with this person if needed.
对于他们的抉择这是个重点
但也有些微妙的办法来解决这类问题啦，我知道一些人在中国的律师事务所以一个“助手”的身份工作，然后去美国获得法律学位，现在正在考虑怎么用美国律法和专利帮助中国公司解决一些问题。他可以讲一口i流利的中文，也是搭建双方法律隔阂的“桥梁”如果需要的话，我可以让Bob和这个人取得联系.。
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-------------译者：qwe14789cn-------------
13# bob23（楼主）
@12#
Yeah, I knew about the Chinese citizen thing, and it is something that I worry about more and more. I was also considering going the "helper" route, but there is also talk of letting foreigners take the Chinese law exam so there is still some hope... I have also been considering trying to get into the foreign service as a visa officer.. but 48k a year... even in China can make it hard to pay off a law school student loan. It will be awhile before I get a law degree but the more contacts the better.
是的，我了解一些关于中国公民的事，同时这也是我越来越担心的。我也考虑过选择“帮助”的方式，但是让外国人来参加中国的法律考试的希望还是有的......我同时也在考虑尝试以一个签证官的身份进入驻外办事处....
但是48000的年薪，即使在中国也很难偿还法学院的助学贷款。得到法律学位还得过一段时间，联络人（关系）当然越多越好（便于获得工作机会）。
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14# bob23
I am in Gainesville at the moment, but I really want to head out west or the northeast. Gainesville is just a really crap town even though there are tons of chinese students. We have been talking a lot about making a plan as to what we will do and when but it is just so hard to make her come up with one that doesn't involve moving back to china in the next year or so. I have already told her I am willing to move there for 20+ years if the d visa ever becomes an option (d visa is almost impossible I know, so it isn't too big of a concern for me.. z will work if it is with an honest company) and or I am able to find a non English teaching job. My plan would be to live in the u.s. for 10 years and then live in china for 10 years ect... I don't want to destroy her Chinese culture... or my own that I seemed to have gained the last 4-5 years. I do have a lot of hope that we can work something out. Thanks for the idea to visit SF, she did seem a little happy to know she can eat some good sichuan food... at least while we are there that week lol.
当我住在盖恩斯维尔时( 美国东南部佛罗里达州中北部的城市)，我真的想前往西部或东北地区。 即使那里有成千上万的中国学生，盖恩斯维尔简直就像shi一样。我们一直在讨论制定一个什么时候去干什么的计划，但是让她想出一个在未来的一年里不返回中国的主意实在是太困难了。我已经告诉她我愿意搬到那里住20多年，如果定居签证能成为一个选择的话(定居签证几乎是不可能的,我明白,所以她对我不抱有过大的关注...如果他们是一个诚实的公司的话),或许我能找到一个非英语教学工作。我原计划是先在美国住10年,然后住在中国10年...我不想破坏她的中国文化……或者我自己在美国4～5年的文化。我有很多我们能一起做什么的希望。感谢你提出去旧金山的主意，当她知道可以吃一些美味的四川菜时，看起来也有点小高兴……
至少这星期我们会很欢乐
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-------------译者：cunzizi-------------
15# Turbo SS1414
@14#
Ha I got my masters at UF. Lived there for 2 years. Moved back to Oklahoma in May of 09. Bad timing. If it was now, I had several foreign chinese friends. I could have introduced your wife to them and maybe she would have been more comfortable. I only know one that still lives there and she is not typical chinese. She really likes to go out and party, get high, drink etc. She is working on her phd. She really doesnt like to hang out with chinese people because she says they are boring. So I cant really help you there. Just a couple of years too late.
哈，我在佛罗里达读的硕士，在那生活了两年，于2009年5月搬到俄克拉荷马。不好的时间。如果我还在，我可以给你老婆介绍几个中国朋友，她可能会呆的舒适点，我仅仅知道还有一个人住在那，她不是典型的中国人。她非常喜欢出去玩，找趴，然后弄high自己等等。她在读phd。她真的不喜欢喝中国人出去玩因为她说他们都无聊死了。所以我真心帮不上忙了。就迟了几年啊。
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16# bob23 （楼主）
@15#
Seriously? I moved from Oklahoma to Florida a few years ago (then went on a crazy trip around the world lol), although I still consider Oklahoma my home it just wouldn't work out too well with her lol. You a sooner fan?
真的？我几年前从俄克拉荷马搬到 佛罗里达（然后踏上环游世界的奇异旅程）虽然我还在考虑把俄克拉荷马当家但就是跟她意见相左哈哈。你是俄城双驾小马车队粉丝？（NCAA篮球）
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17# Turbo SS1414
@16#
Wow thats crazy. I actually went to Ok State so I am a cowboy fan. But anytime OU isnt playing OSU or Florida I root for them. Where in Oklahoma are you from? I am from Tulsa and thats where I live now.
回LS,哇，这太疯狂了，我其实去的俄克拉荷马州立大学所以我是牛仔队粉丝（ 俄州大校队NCAA篮球）但是OU没有一次打我支持的俄州大或佛罗里达。你住在俄克拉荷马哪里，我来自塔尔萨现在也住在那里。
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正文翻译
1# bob23 （楼主）
Hey, my wife and I are 23 and 22 and met while I was studying in China (almost 4 years ago) and have been married for a year and a half. We are both currently college students in the U.S.
嘿，我老婆和我分别23和22岁，相识在我留学中国期间（大约四年前），已经结婚一年半了。我们目前都是美国的大学生。
I really understand Chinese culture and her family really likes me, and while we are in China everything is great. Yet she can't seem to adjust to life in the U.S. at all. I mean I understand how some of you are 40 or 50 and marry a 30 year old Chinese woman and her English is so so etc and so I perfectly understand why it would be hard for them to adjust to American life given all of the assumptions that go along with that (language prob, moving to the U.S.. at an older age, maybe even age difference). But why is my wife having such a horrible horrible time adjusting?
我真的了解中国文化，她家人也很喜欢我，在中国的时候一切都很棒。但她似乎还是不能适应在美国的生活。我能理解你们中的一些人，都四五十岁了和三十岁的中国女人结婚，而她的英语平平，所以我十分理解即使一切就绪（语言测试，迁居美国......在较大的年纪，甚至年龄差距），为什么对他们来说适应美国生活很难。但是为什么我的妻子的适应情况如此糟糕？
She won't eat any western food aside from maybe a hamburger once in awhile, she won't watch English TV (unless it is subtitled in Chinese), she seems to look down on all Americans now... the list goes on.
她不会吃任何西方食物，除了也许偶尔吃个汉堡，她不会看英语电视节目（除非有中文字幕），现在她似乎瞧不起所有的美国人......不胜枚举。
This is a person that goes to one of the top 3 journalism schools in the U.S.... her English is very very good, she has studied and liked western culture since she was 5 years old, and yet only 3 or 4 months into the U.S.. she couldn't stand it (18 months in the U.S. so far).
这个人她是美国排名前三的新闻院校之一的学生......她的英语非常非常好，她从五岁就在学习并喜爱西方文化， 但是只在美国呆过三四个月......她受不了（目前在美国十八个月了）。
-------------译者：loriana777-------------
I have tried to be supportive, tried to work my butt off so I can transfer to a more Asian friendly place for law school (in Florida now), yet all she can think about is moving back to China.
我试着支持她。辛苦工作这样我就能转学到对亚裔更加友好的地方的法学院了（现在在佛罗里达），但她还是一心想要搬回中国去。
Can someone please help me out? I am willing to do whatever I can to help her. But she thinks Chinese Americans are morons, foreign students are egocentric, and blah blah blah. What can I do???
有人能给我出出主意吗？我已经竭尽所能帮助她了，但是他觉得华裔美国人都是低能儿，外国学生自私自利……我到底该怎么办哪？
Thanks
谢！
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================================华丽的分割线========================
评论翻译
2# Turbo SS1414
Really dont have any advice for you, but I also went to school in Florida and I also thought most of the foreign students were really egocentric
Good luck
真帮不上你什么忙，但是我也去佛罗里达州念书了，我也觉得大多数外国学生确实很自私。
祝你好运！
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3# dnoblett
Two words "Home Sick"
Keep in mind she left ALL her friends behind.
My wife has been here 4 years and still has not adjusted to western food, this is normal.
两个字“想家”了。
你要记住她可是背井离乡啊。
我老婆来美国四年了还不适应西餐，很正常。
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4# warpedbored
It takes about 2 years before they seem to start accepting life here in the US. Of course Chinese will always be better than American. Tell her to suck it up and bear it out. You can always move back to China later. I would think a journalism degree from a top university in America, coupled with excellent English skills could land her a good job in China. CCTV-9 for instance.
开始适应美国生活要花两年时间。当然中国人比美国人要好些。让她多理解多忍耐。你什么时候都可以回国嘛。我觉得要是她在美国顶尖大学获得新闻学学位，英语又特别好的话，回国总能找到一份好工作的，比如CCTV—9。
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5# credzba
@1#
Before I get slammed.. these are only MY opinions. From my view point, there are few advantage, and many disadvantage to living in America.
在你们喷我之前……我先说几句，仅代表个人观点：在美国生活利少弊多。
1) I make more money, much more, that is why we're here in America, but at the same time the taxes and expenses heavily impact our net saving. So, while its an advantage it is not huge.
比起在中国能赚多得多的钱，所以我们来美国了。但同时交税和花费也大大地影响我们净存款。综上，这是个不太明显的优势。
2) All my human network resources in China drift away, and as the network falls apart, so do my long term job opportunities at home.
我在中国的所有人际关系都在逐渐淡漠，我在国内的长期工作机会也越来越少。
3) Our extended family is in China, and while we talk on the phone often, and go home at least once a year, it is too far and not enough family contact. Many Chinese don't get home even once a year.. I should consider us lucky in this regard, but it doesn't change the fact it isn't enough to us.
中国基本是大家庭，当我们经常需要打电话，一年回去一次的时候，太遥远了而且缺乏家庭联系。许多中国人甚至一年不回家一次……考虑到他们，我们还算幸运，但是这也改变不了缺乏亲情的事实。
4) The food in America tastes terrible, imagine from your view point if the food taste was between pigs brains, and chicken feet EVERY DAY! Yes you can eat it, but how long?!? If you were in China and we had these things every day, how what would YOU want to eat?
美国食物味道很糟，设想一下每天你吃的口味都介于猪脑子和鸡脚之间！你能吃得下，但能吃几天呢？！？如果你是中国人，咱们每天都吃这些，你怎么可能吃得下呢嘿？
5)Everywhere I go requires a car. I exercise less, and eat more fatty food so my health is worse. Sure a car is prestigious, but this is ridiculous. Why can't I get anywhere on a bus or bike?
不管去哪都要开车。动的少吃得多健康状况就变差了。有辆汽车是很威风，但是也很可笑。为啥我不能坐公交或者骑自行车到每个我想去的地方？
6) Nothing works like I expect, from paying bills to seeing people on the street, America feels different. When I walk down the street I feel like I am in a ghost town! I can't use cash for ANYTHING, no wonder the US currency is in trouble, everyone uses credit card or online banking. Where do the neighbors go? Who are they anyway, and why aren't they Chinese like every OTHER person I ever met?
和以前期待的不同，在美国不管是付账单还是在街上看到人都很不一样。我走在街上，觉得自己好像置身于一个幽灵都市！神马东西都不能用现金买。毫无疑问美国的货币流通有问题，人人都用信用卡或者网银。邻居们去哪了？不管他们到底是谁，为什么他们不像以前我曾经遇到的每一个中国人那样呢？
-------------译者：husama-------------
7) Television... try watching only Chinese tv, if Chinese is your second language. Even if your Chinese is VERY good, your ears get tired of listening to the foreign sounds, and your brain gets tired of working. The content of the shows is not anything I am interested in, the people in the shows don't look like I expect... Watching American tv is just a reason to learn English. Like studying for a test. Do YOU like to study when your supposed to be relaxing?
说到电视……试着只看中文电视节目，如果中文是你的第二语言。即是你的中文很好，你的耳朵也会对这些外国语言感到疲惫，你的脑子也会累得停转。节目不是你感兴趣的，而里面的人也不是我期待的样子……很多人看美国电视只是为了学英语，比如为了考试而学习英语。当你想要娱乐的时候你还会做这种实际上是在学习的事吗?
8) As for thinking American are morons .. the definition of a moron is someone who does something that looks stupid from my view. The way people interrelate, pay their bills, live their lives, it is all stupid. Why do they all have credit card debt? Why can't I buy fresh food instead of frozen junk at grocery store? Where are the food vendors? Why can't I just pay the policman to avoid the problem? Why can't I negotiate the price of these expensive things at stores? WHATS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE?!?
至于说老美都是傻瓜蛋，在我而言傻瓜蛋的定义就是那些做蠢事的人。人们相互联系，付账单、生活的方式，都蠢翻了。为什么他们的信用卡上都欠着账呢？为什么我在食杂点里只能买一些冰冻垃圾而不是新鲜食物呢？那些食品供应商哪去了？为什么我不能给钱警察去解决问题？为什么面对高价商品我不能讨价还价？到底这些地方都有神马毛病？！？
9) I just saw this link: http://candleforlove...l=&fromsearch=1 .. YES Americans are crazy. I would NEVER be subjected to this in China !!
我刚刚看到这链接里面的内容 http://candleforlove...l=&fromsearch=1 ..
是的，美国很疯狂。我在中国就从来不会遭受这些。
Perhaps slightly overstated, but I hope you get the idea?
If NOTHING is as you expect it, of course you want to return to a familiar place. You cannot imagine how close to tears I come some days just dealing with America because I just want to go home (toi China) where things work as I expect...
Oh, and I am the American in our relationship You should hear my wife's view !!
也许这有点夸张，但我希望你能懂?
如果这儿没有任何东西是你期待的，当然你会想回祖国。你不能想象这些天来我在跟美国人搞这点屁事都快要哭了，因为我想回家，回到事物能像我期待那样运转的地方去……
噢，顺便说一句，我在我们的关系里头还是扮演美国人的角色。你还没听到我妻子的意见呢!!!
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6# amberjack1234
@5#
Son of a gun bubba after reading your post here you have me almost in tears for you. If I were you I would be on the next flight out, damn the money it will never make up for your happiness. As for the OP all I can say is that America is not for everyone. Your baby may never adjust. Sorry. Everyone is different. When my wife came here she was like she had lived here all of her life. She had 0 problems of adjusting. I was actually worried about her because of it but she insisted that she was great and had no issues what so ever. The only thing that I can remember is learning to drive. She does not drive now even after 10 years. She made 98 on the test and passed the drivers exam the first time out but she knows that she is not a good driver and will not drive. I do wish you good luck it does look like you and she could have a profitable and bright future in America but like I told credzba money won't buy happiness. Larry
狗娘养的，老弟，我看了你的帖子几乎要为你痛哭了。如果我是你，我就坐下一趟飞机立马回国。去他妈的银子，金钱永远补偿不了你的快乐。像开头说的那样，美国不是人人都适合的。你的宝贝可能永远不会适应。对不起，但我还是要说，每个人都是不同的。当我老婆来这儿的时候，她就像在这活了一辈子似的，一点问题都没。我曾经也担心过这点，但她坚持说她很棒没有任何适应性问题。唯一一件事就是学车，她现在不开车十年后也不会开。她第一次考车就得98分通过了，但她知道她不是个好司机所以不会再开车。我祝你幸运，她也能在美国有美好的未来。但正如我告诉 credzba 的那样，金钱买不来快活。
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7# chilton747
Home is where the heart is. Sounds like her home is in China. Good luck!
心之所属，家之所在。好像是她中国老家的一句话。祝你好运！
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8# dnoblett
@7#
You can take the girl out of China, but you cannot take China out of the girl!
你可以把妞从中国带走，但你不能将中国血脉从妞身上剥离。
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9# credzba
@8#
and would anyone want to?
会有人这样想吗？
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-------------译者：anyan7654-------------
10# david_dawei
Credzba...
that was as good as it gets. One might add to the list:
10) Why do phone companies charge me for minutes I don't ever use; I only want to pay for minutes I used !
11) Why can't I walk across the street or call a friend to just pay another 100 RMB to charge my phone minutes
12) Where do all the fish heads go... that is the only part I want?
13) You want an ID for what?
14) Why can't I buy any fireworks, I've handled them since 5 years old?
15) One should buy their fish by the pound, not their super-sized soda
16) Why can't I ask someone to do something without 100 questions and everyone's opinion. Just do it and stop talking. The US does not take a common sense approach to life; a more puritanical and legalistic one. It's turning into a kind of police state. Someone recently mentioned to me that England is almost there. Our western paranoia is going too far. One lives are more mechanistic than natural here. Let's just call it our walk to the dark side.
----
I would talk to her openly and ask her what are some solutions she sees; what does she want you two guys to do? Can you come up with 2,5,10 year plans? Maybe she doesn't want that much structure; she just wants normalcy.
Where are you in FL?
Credzba... 就像你已经得到的一样好，把这些加入到清单里去
10)为什么电话公司多算时间多收费费，我只想付我真正打的电话费？
11）为什么我不能走到街对面或者叫朋友去充值另外100元的电话费？
12）鱼头都去哪里了？我只是想要鱼头而已
13）你为了什么需要一个身份号？
14）为什么我不能买烟花，我从5岁开始就可以玩烟花了
15）一个应该按重量来买鱼，而不是其超大的苏打（真心不理解）
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-------------译者：liufangfang1234-------------
11# credzba
Bob, Something important just occurred to me.
You and your sweetie either need to plan to live life in America, or you need to reconsider your degree! Lawyers in China MUST be Chinese citizens.
I hope you guys can figure it out. Perhaps you can find a Chinese neighborhood to live in. San Fransisco has one, of course, Houston Tx. has a good one I understand, perhaps others can give you more places. Bob
我倒是想起了一些重要的东西
或者是你和你的爱人需要计划在美国生活，亦或是你得重新考虑你的学位。
中国的律师必须得是中国公民
愿你小子能早点决解这问题啦.或许你可以找一个华人社区去居住，旧金山就有一个，当然了，我还知道休斯敦也有个不错的这种社区，没准其他人还能给你提供更多这样的地方。
One comfort we have is we have a life plan, what we will do while here in America so we CAN move home, how we will move home, and when. We get encouragement on bad days by talking about how we're doing on the plan. If your plan is to finish your degree, and move to SF (or wherever) then you can start saving to buy a place there, visit the place to know its the right place for you, plan for a future you can both love to live at. Best wishes.
我们安慰自己说我们是有生活计划的，我们在这要做些什么才能搬家， 该怎么搬？要什么时候搬？当我们心情不好的时候，通过谈论该如何实现我们的计划还能够获得些许的鼓励。要是你完成了你的学位然后搬去旧金山（随便什么别的地方）那时你就可以开始攒钱在那买房子，找一个适合的地方描绘一幅蓝图 送上最诚挚的祝福
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12# david_dawei
@11#
This is a great point to raise as they consider their options...
But there are subtle ways around this. I know someone who worked in china for a law firm as one of the 'helpers'. Later went to the US to get his law degree and now is considering how to help chinese companies with US law and patent issues. He is fluent in chinese and so bridges the legal gap.
I can put Bob in touch with this person if needed.
对于他们的抉择这是个重点
但也有些微妙的办法来解决这类问题啦，我知道一些人在中国的律师事务所以一个“助手”的身份工作，然后去美国获得法律学位，现在正在考虑怎么用美国律法和专利帮助中国公司解决一些问题。他可以讲一口i流利的中文，也是搭建双方法律隔阂的“桥梁”如果需要的话，我可以让Bob和这个人取得联系.。
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-------------译者：qwe14789cn-------------
13# bob23（楼主）
@12#
Yeah, I knew about the Chinese citizen thing, and it is something that I worry about more and more. I was also considering going the "helper" route, but there is also talk of letting foreigners take the Chinese law exam so there is still some hope... I have also been considering trying to get into the foreign service as a visa officer.. but 48k a year... even in China can make it hard to pay off a law school student loan. It will be awhile before I get a law degree but the more contacts the better.
是的，我了解一些关于中国公民的事，同时这也是我越来越担心的。我也考虑过选择“帮助”的方式，但是让外国人来参加中国的法律考试的希望还是有的......我同时也在考虑尝试以一个签证官的身份进入驻外办事处....
但是48000的年薪，即使在中国也很难偿还法学院的助学贷款。得到法律学位还得过一段时间，联络人（关系）当然越多越好（便于获得工作机会）。
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14# bob23
I am in Gainesville at the moment, but I really want to head out west or the northeast. Gainesville is just a really crap town even though there are tons of chinese students. We have been talking a lot about making a plan as to what we will do and when but it is just so hard to make her come up with one that doesn't involve moving back to china in the next year or so. I have already told her I am willing to move there for 20+ years if the d visa ever becomes an option (d visa is almost impossible I know, so it isn't too big of a concern for me.. z will work if it is with an honest company) and or I am able to find a non English teaching job. My plan would be to live in the u.s. for 10 years and then live in china for 10 years ect... I don't want to destroy her Chinese culture... or my own that I seemed to have gained the last 4-5 years. I do have a lot of hope that we can work something out. Thanks for the idea to visit SF, she did seem a little happy to know she can eat some good sichuan food... at least while we are there that week lol.
当我住在盖恩斯维尔时( 美国东南部佛罗里达州中北部的城市)，我真的想前往西部或东北地区。 即使那里有成千上万的中国学生，盖恩斯维尔简直就像shi一样。我们一直在讨论制定一个什么时候去干什么的计划，但是让她想出一个在未来的一年里不返回中国的主意实在是太困难了。我已经告诉她我愿意搬到那里住20多年，如果定居签证能成为一个选择的话(定居签证几乎是不可能的,我明白,所以她对我不抱有过大的关注...如果他们是一个诚实的公司的话),或许我能找到一个非英语教学工作。我原计划是先在美国住10年,然后住在中国10年...我不想破坏她的中国文化……或者我自己在美国4～5年的文化。我有很多我们能一起做什么的希望。感谢你提出去旧金山的主意，当她知道可以吃一些美味的四川菜时，看起来也有点小高兴……
至少这星期我们会很欢乐
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-------------译者：cunzizi-------------
15# Turbo SS1414
@14#
Ha I got my masters at UF. Lived there for 2 years. Moved back to Oklahoma in May of 09. Bad timing. If it was now, I had several foreign chinese friends. I could have introduced your wife to them and maybe she would have been more comfortable. I only know one that still lives there and she is not typical chinese. She really likes to go out and party, get high, drink etc. She is working on her phd. She really doesnt like to hang out with chinese people because she says they are boring. So I cant really help you there. Just a couple of years too late.
哈，我在佛罗里达读的硕士，在那生活了两年，于2009年5月搬到俄克拉荷马。不好的时间。如果我还在，我可以给你老婆介绍几个中国朋友，她可能会呆的舒适点，我仅仅知道还有一个人住在那，她不是典型的中国人。她非常喜欢出去玩，找趴，然后弄high自己等等。她在读phd。她真的不喜欢喝中国人出去玩因为她说他们都无聊死了。所以我真心帮不上忙了。就迟了几年啊。
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16# bob23 （楼主）
@15#
Seriously? I moved from Oklahoma to Florida a few years ago (then went on a crazy trip around the world lol), although I still consider Oklahoma my home it just wouldn't work out too well with her lol. You a sooner fan?
真的？我几年前从俄克拉荷马搬到 佛罗里达（然后踏上环游世界的奇异旅程）虽然我还在考虑把俄克拉荷马当家但就是跟她意见相左哈哈。你是俄城双驾小马车队粉丝？（NCAA篮球）
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17# Turbo SS1414
@16#
Wow thats crazy. I actually went to Ok State so I am a cowboy fan. But anytime OU isnt playing OSU or Florida I root for them. Where in Oklahoma are you from? I am from Tulsa and thats where I live now.
回LS,哇，这太疯狂了，我其实去的俄克拉荷马州立大学所以我是牛仔队粉丝（ 俄州大校队NCAA篮球）但是OU没有一次打我支持的俄州大或佛罗里达。你住在俄克拉荷马哪里，我来自塔尔萨现在也住在那里。
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18# david_dawei
you said 3-4 months in the US she was already starting to not like it; and has been here 18 months but is in a journalism school now.
1. Has she returned to china since arriving in the US?
2. How far is she into the journalism school? And you in your school?
3. Is she serious about the study? It seems this school has further colored her opinion?
4. Does journalism still seem what she wants to pursue?
5. Does she have friends? Of those she has, mostly chinese?
你说在美国呆了3-4个月她就开始不喜欢了，现在呆了18个月但是在个新闻学院
1.她到美国后回去过没有？
2. 她入新闻学院多久了，你入了你自己要读的学校了吗？
3. 她对待学业认真吗，看起来这学校大大影响了她的看法。
4. 记者看起来还是她要追求的职业吗？
5.她有朋友吗？如果有,大多是中国人？
Over the last 18 months, would you say her negativity is a steady increase or certain points can be seen where it clearly jumps up? As you are well aware, education is quite different between the two cultures. I wonder how much this experience is pushing her towards the negative view of things.
It is probably a combination of homesickness, 'chinese way is better' and the fact that some of what she relates is really true about american students and culture. One can imagine an american in china facing this feeling (or dare we say hardship) and they would probably high tail it back to the US. She has the advantage of talking in english and probably understanding some of the cultural aspects but it doesn't seem to create a real positive experience.
I would not worry so much about the food or TV issue; that is such small stuff. Many chinese come over and are that way... and honestly, as was said, our food generally sucks and TV is a mindless brainwash anyways. She may as well have a few things which really bring her some emotional or psychological comfort.
A trip back to china could go either way; it could give her the needed breath she is often looking for or it could make her more slanted about her feelings. To not disrupt school, a trip during a normal break seems most reasonable.
这18个月她的消极性是一直稳步增长还是在几个时间点会质变疯长？就像你了解的，两国教育有很大不同。我在想这种经验（接受两国教育）在她都看事物不好的一面上起了多大作用。这可能是和思乡病的混合：“中国式的作法更好”。事实上她提到的一些关于美国学生和文化的事也是正确的。可以想象如果一个美国人在中国面临一些情绪（大胆点我们可以说是困难），他们很可能光速跑回美国。她英语口语能力好也可能懂美国文化方面的内容，但是这些看来没有为她创造一个真正好的经历。
我不很担心食物或电视这些东西，这些都是小事。许多中国人都是过来然后就这样子了..老实讲，像上几楼说的我们的食物一般很烂，电视就是洗空你脑子的东西。她可能有些让他情绪或精神放松的事情。
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19# danb
Bob. This is an interesting topic. As it has been pointed out perhaps a litle different then many of us on this board because of the age difference. But almost all of us have some difficulies and changelleges we all have to meet and overcome. Exactly where is your wife in her studies? Did she have to go ESL school or is she is a bachelor or master program? How is she adjusting to school? Is she being challenged or is she bored or is she having difficulties? I wonder how much different schooling for journalism in China compares to the US. It may be very different.
When you talked to you wife what was she expecting to find when she came to the USA? Probably what an 18 y.o versus a 22 yo versus a 45 year old's expectations will differ a lot. Have those expectation changed in the last 4 years? What is she doing to change her outlook on life in the USA? I wish you all the best of luck.
Danb
PS, What sort of thing have you done to introduce her into the "American" way of life? Does she work? Does she have many friends? What things does she like about the "American" way of life? Is it art, muscic, culture, the beach, clothing,sports, shopping or ??? There must be a lot of fun and interesting things to do near the University and in Florida. Or perhaps a job at the local paper or at the school newspaper or a local publishing house will allow to her to see things differently. Sorry about all the question but perhaps asking the right ones will help you find a solution.
Bob，这是一个有趣的主题。在论坛里我们年龄不同可能看法不同。但是我们几乎都要面对和克服一些困难和挑战。如你老婆的学业？她需要去语言学校或者他是一个学士又或她在读硕士？她怎么调试学业的？她是有挑战了还是烦了还是有困难了？我在想学习新闻中国和美国的不同。这可能有很大不同。
你在什么时候和你老婆谈过她来美国的目的？可能18岁.22岁.45岁的期望有很大差异。你老婆的期望这4年改变过吗？她在美国做了什么改变了她的人生观？我祝你十分好运吧。
Danb
PS,在帮她融入美国式生活的时候你做了什么？她是否工作？她有许多朋友吗？关于美式生活里她喜欢哪些？艺术，音乐，文化海滩，衣服，运动，购物，或是？在佛罗里达住离大学这么近肯能有好多好玩的事可以做。或许有一份地区报纸或校报或出版公司的工作会让她看到事物的其他方面。抱歉，问这么多问题，但是或许问了一个对的问题能帮你找到一个解决的办法。
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-------------译者：bigsnail-------------
20# bob23（楼主）
I am going to try and answer everyone's questions so bear with me I am originally from Ponca City.
1. We went back to China for 4 months since coming to the u.s. so she has really only been "here" for 14.
2. She is a junior but has enough hours to be a senior (just how everything worked out.. who know universities...)
3. I would say that she is somewhat serious, she doesn't feel like this is her "call" but she is serious enough to work hard and get good grades. I am not too sure if it has changed her opinion a lot, it very well could have. I went to a few of her classes and at times they can really push some insane points of view... so I am guessing it has some but it can't account for everything.
5. She has some "so so" friends I guess, she doesn't have any true friends like in china and I can really understand how that feels. I would say that its mostly Chinese but not all... but she really doesn't have many friends and like I said no "true" or "close" friends which is a serious problem I am trying to fix.
I would say it has been increasing over time with a few major bumps along the road Interestingly enough she believes Americans are way to optimistic and should be more negative.
After we got back from our 4 month stay in china should started complaining about China ect ect and was so so about going back to the u.s. We also lived in Europe and while she never displayed this extreme form of hate, she didn't like Europe and was ready to move to the u.s. (we moved from Europe to America).
我试着回答大家的问题，所以请宽容我刚刚从庞卡城回来。
1.从回到美国我们曾经在中国待了4个月，所以实际上她只在“这里”待了14个月。
2.她现在大三但足以升到大四（情况就是如此。。谁知道大学究竟是怎么回事。。
3.我觉得她就是个大四生了，但她觉得不是而且依然认真的的学习并且成绩优秀。我不确定这有没有改变一些她的观点，但这样挺好。我旁听过她的一些课，有时候这些课真的能灌输一些疯狂的观点。。。所以我认为这还是有作用的，虽然还不能说明一切。
5.她有一些酒肉朋友，却没有像在中国的那些真正的朋友，我能理解她的感受。她的那些朋友多数是中国人但也不全都是。。。她没有真正的朋友，这是我要解决的一个严重问题。 在解决这个问题的道路上荆棘遍布，有趣的是她认为美国人太乐观应该更消极点。
从中国回来后，她开始抱怨中国的种种，同时又抱怨回到美国。我们也曾住在欧洲，虽然她没表现出极端的厌恶，但她不喜欢欧洲而且准备去美国（我们曾从欧洲搬到美国）
-------------译者：husama-------------
She took a ton of English classes in China because she was heading to a European university at the time but none in the u.s. I would have to say some of her classes are fairly easy but others are very hard. If you mess up one comma you lose 5 points, misspell a name you fail the paper so it is really stressful.
I am not 100% sure what she was expecting, I think because she was younger she expected my family to really help fill the void that was being formed by leaving her family. Unfortunately though my mom works all the time because of the nature of her work (recovery nurse.. so on call all the time) and doesn't have much time to do things like her mom does. My sister just went on this crazy streak and really really showed my wife how slutty and messed up American girls can be. I honestly hate her for that...
I think everyone's expectations change as time goes along. If they had changed before we moved to America it was only that the western world isn't as perfect as so many girls think it is. But she found that out living in Europe... long before we moved to the u.s.
I am trying to get her in some clubs to let her meet more Chinese students... but she resists soo much. I think she just wants to give up and scrap the idea of living in the u.s. but I am really trying hard to push her into society.. at least parts that she can relate to.
She doesn't work but wants to find a part time job.
I think the main things to work on are: 1. friends 2. family 3. get her more into society 4. really try hard to make her have an open mind so she can try to adjust.
Any advice is warmly welcomed.
她那是要去欧洲读书所以之前在中国预先上了一堆英文课。我必须说她上的课有一些内容很简单，其余的真的很难。如果你弄乱一个标点，就要被扣掉五分。拼错了名字整张试卷会不及格，所以鸭梨会非常大。我100%确定那姑娘是充满期待的，她很年轻所以我想她希望能在我们身上找到一些什么填补她离开家园的心灵上的缺口。很不幸的是，我妈妈因为工作性质要全天工作(康复护士……因此要随时待命)，没能像她妈妈那样为她做那么多。我姐妹因为这个要抓狂了，天天向我老婆说一个美国女孩的生活能过得多么混乱糟糕。我真的很恨她这个……
我认为每个人的期望都会随着时间而变化。如果他们早在我们搬去美国之前就改变期待，发现西方国家并不像很多女孩想象中那么完美的事实。但她在欧洲就发现了这个……在我们搬去美国之前相当长的一段时间。
我尝试带她去俱乐部认识更多的中国学生，但她很抗拒。我觉得她一心想放弃在美国的生活。但我真的很努力地想把她带进当地的社交里去，至少是她能够得着的那一部分。
她不想做全职但想去兼职。
我认为需要解决的主要问题是：1、朋友 2、家庭 3、更多地接触社会 4、让她变得更开朗以便适应当地
欢迎提供任何建议。
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-------------译者：落木萧萧-------------
21# david_dawei
This may sound like a lot of 'duh' stuff, but I'll say it anyways.
1. Her age probably makes some of this more difficult. An older lady may be willing to put aside some issues in exchange for knowing she wants to stay here. Her youth and ambitions are just budding; she probably sees the world as something she can do whatever she wants and her travels maybe reinforce some of this. She's drawing judgments which in her mind are very clear cut. As a chinese, she would often just need to decide what to "do" and do it; in this case, she cannot apply such practical approaches. This will normally create frustration as she feels she has no control over some aspects of her life. This is a very common issue for most chinese that come here.
2. I think the difference in education and maybe student seriousness at the university level plays a role but it may be hard to quantize or really change that; it's a fact of the school and students and curriculum. I would not try to do too much about this other than listen to her and simply understand her feelings about it. Although there may be study group opportunities but she may rebuff them.
3. Gainsville. She already went to Europe and it was not much better. What will another city do? It could go either way. I would not pursue another city unless there is a really compelling reason. And complaining isn't enough since she may only want to be heard, and not asking for another city. The challenge to all the issues is when to "do" something vs just listening since for chinese, typically action is what they want. This will be the biggest challenge in my opinion. But you may find some discrete opportunities to just do something and I would stay aware of those times and seize them. Don't ask her 'should I do this or that'; if it comes to your mind, however small, "do it". Even small, fun distractions (ie: if she likes a certain ice cream, bring some home).
可能你们会觉得这些话是废话，但我还是要说：
1. 她的年纪可能使得她适应这边的生活更难一些。如果是一个年纪大一些的女士，她会选择留在这积极适应这而把遇到的问题先抛在一边。而你年轻的妻子则正是心中的渴望萌芽的年纪；可能在她的眼中，在这个世界里她应该可以尽情做她想做的事情，她过去的经历可能也使她愈发相信这一点。她对待事物有着清晰的自己的判断。作为一个中国人，她可能经常只需要决定“做”什么，然后便去做；从这个角度上讲，她并不适用于这些实践性的办法。通常这些会使她遭遇挫折，会使她觉得在某些方面上她无法掌握自己的生活。这是一个在来这边的中国人群体中很常见的问题。
2. 我认为教育体系的不同或者还有大学生在校的认真程度的不同也是很重要的因素，不过可能这个很难被量化比较抑或很难被改变；不过从学校，到学生，到课程来讲，确实存在这样的差异。如果是我的话我不会试图做太多的东西来改变，而会选择倾听她，或者只是设身处地地去理解她。尽管可能会有社团学习交流的机会给她，但她还是可能会拒绝的。
3. 关于盖恩斯维尔（楼主现居地）的问题。她曾经去过欧洲，但那依旧不能帮助她更好地适应这边的生活。那么换一个城市又能起到什么样的作用呢？或许还有其他的方式。如果是我，除非是有什么真的必要的原因，不然我是不会更换城市生活的。而（她的）抱怨是永远不会停止的，因为她可能只是想向人倾诉，而不是真的想换个城市生活。所有问题的挑战性都在于，是去“做”什么事，还是选择仅仅去听，而对中国人来说，他们想要的是行动，依我看来，这才是最大的问题所在。也许你会找到些零散的机会（为她）做不同的事情，而我更看重筹划并及时抓住每一个机会。不要问她“我是不是应该做这个或那个”；如果有什么想法闪现在你脑中了，即使只是微微一闪，“去做”。即使只是很小的事情，也能带来快乐。（比如：如果她喜欢冰激凌，那么就马上买些带回家）
-------------译者：zayne-------------
4. Accept these issues as both of your issues, not hers. If she falls into such talk like, " 'your' not listening to 'me' ", she is feeling a separation like this is 'her' issue only. You are her primary (maybe only) support; don't let distance develop. Don't let this eat you up. You are bound to feel like she may be unreasonable at times; just realize she may be thinking the same thing about your responses to her. Accept that her point of view and way of even making judgments are very real to her; your not likely to rationalize her out of that. So be careful of getting caught up in trying to rationalize.
5. The items you listed are going to be hard to achieve because this is your list. What list would you create if you were inside her head? Looking at your items in reverse: I would drop the last item; you cannot change another person, they can only change themself and if you appear to be trying to change her that might make it worse. Let her nature lead her. Which means #3 is also tough but find things you both get involved in. Family takes time and may not really be in her heart. I think as a chinese, she will expect the family to reach out to her, otherwise there is not much you can really accomplish inside her. Friends; that is always a good start but she's resistant. Just be careful of forcing issues.
4.把这些问题也看作你的问题，而不光是她的。如果她遇到这样的谈话像，”“你”没有在听“我”讲话“，她会感到
一种间距就像这是只“她”的问题。你是她的基本（也许不是）支持；不要产生距离。不要因这个吃定你。你注定会认为她偶尔会不可理喻；去想想她可能会同样考虑你对她的反应。接受这个事实那就是她的观点和判断的方法对她来说是非常实在的。你不太可能让她变得合理。所以小心被抓到想要让她变得合理。
5.你列的这几项将很难达到因为这是你列举的。如果你在她的头脑里你会列举出什么？反过来看看你列举的几项：我会放弃最后一项；你不能改变另一个人，他们只能自己去改变自己并且如果你想试着去改变她那只会使事情变得更糟。让她的本性领导她。 所谓#3 也很难，但要找到你们都专注的东西。家庭占据了时间，并且不会真正地在她心中。我认为她作为一个中国人会希望家庭能够接触到她。否则你没有多少能够真正完成的。朋友，那总是一个好的开始但她会抵抗。关心一下强制的问题。
-------------译者：aifeimumu-------------
6. What can you do? That will reveal itself but you need to remain open to sensing it. If you feel there is something, however small, to do, just do it. Does she prefer hot water or tea? Brew it without her asking. Maybe she says she only likes that in the morning; so do it in the morning. She prefers Chinese TV? Watch a show with her. She likes some fruit? Walk to the shop together and buy some. I know these are so insignificant on some level but you should show her that you "know" how to take care of the things she likes in life; that you do them without anyone telling you; You want to do them. Let these add up and overtake the "issues" that may be developing between you.
6.你能做什么？只要你一直敞开心扉去感受，答案是自会显现的。如果你觉得有问题，就算是小问题，去做，就去做。她是不是更喜欢热水或者茶？她没要求，也给她泡。也许她说她只喜欢早上喝；那就早上泡。她喜欢中文电视？和她一起看。
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-------------译者：husama-------------
23# carl.hops
All I can say is, I just went through what shes going through now, and I got past it. First you are excited about the new country and culture, then it starts to bother you, and then you either leave or learn to adjust and deal with it and if you do stay all the bad things that you were seeing before are easily dismissed. I'm loving China now, I found my balance between American culture and Chinese culture.
The way I stay sane is by staying away from the things that bother me, that being Traffic, I try and not ride my bike too much or go out during rush hour times which has brought down most of my complaints and unhappiness. I found some other locals around my age to hang out with and relate to, and a local American cafe that I can relax in every once in a while.
The only real good advice I can give to you is, don't expect her to eat "western" food. No matter where you are I'm sure you two will be perfectly capable of cooking and eating Chinese food, a change in diet can change an attitude greatly, that along with culture shock makes things far worse. Give her a daily dose of Chinese culture, some CCTV, speak Chinese more with her, buy her a wok and a gas burner etc... All of that will go a long way. After that all you can do is wait and be supportive, not everyone adjusts at the same pace. When I first arrived in China I enjoyed life and was excited and curious for about a year, then that started to wear off and I became frustrated, that lasted about 7 months, then I got over all the small things, and then I finally accepted them and started enjoying my life again.
所有我想说的是，她经历的我全都经历过，但我把坎迈过去了。一开始你对新国家和文化很兴奋，然后这些开始困扰你，你只能选择离开或者留下来学习适应它。如果你成天看到坏的东西你会很容易放弃。我现在很爱中国，我找到了中国文化和美国文化的平衡点。
我保持理智的方式是远离那些困扰的东西，比如交通。我会试着不去骑那么多自行车，不在高峰期外出，这真的会减少很多抱怨和不开心。我找到一些可以一起厮混的、和我年龄差不多的同龄人，还有一个美国小咖啡厅，我可以时不时去放松放松。
我能给你一个很好的意见就是，不要指望她吃“西式”食品。你们在哪儿都好，我相信你们肯定能做得一手好中国菜。食物的变化可以带来观念上的转变，随之而来的文化冲击可能让处境更糟。每天给她来一小剂关于中国文化的药：看看CCTV，说点中文，给她买个锅和燃气炉等等。这些要持续一段时间。你能做的就是等待还有给点鼓励，不是所有人都一样快地适应环境。当我初次来到中国，我很享受，对新生活感到兴奋和好奇，这样的情况持续了一年。随之而来是七个月的挫折和沮丧，再后来我通过这些小事逐渐过渡，最终又重新开始享受我的新生活。
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-------------译者：bigsnail-------------
24# Minister
Secret Chinese misconception #1: America is just like China only everyone is super rich.
Secret Chinese misconception #2: "Rich" means no debt plus tons of money in the bank. People with credit card debt or a mortgage are crazy and stupid. (Note: A Chinese woman will look down on Americans for our debt lifestyle even though their friends and neighbors back home in China all now have mortgages and car loans. There is a double standard applied to Americans because of Misconception #1)
Secret Chinese misconception #3: I've had KFC, McDonalds, etc. etc. in China. I like those foods in China. That must be what American food tastes like because those are American restaurants. I will be fine in America. Surely they will have paprika-covered squid cakes at McDonalds in America.
Secret Chinese misconception #4: The Chinese way of doing everything is right.
Most Chinese expect to come here and find the mythical land of streets paved with gold flowing with milk and honey. This is supported by their media. All Chinese movies that take place in America take place in Las Vegas, Hollywood, or Manhattan. When they find out that we're all 40 pounds overweight, we all work 60 hours a week, and we all live paycheck to paycheck, their illusions are shattered and they tend to react bitterly.
This may lead to quarrels as we don't respond well to their disappointment (i.e. "I'll be darned if I'm going to let my home be belittled by a no good commie who grew up tending a coal fire and shitting in a hole in the ground. 14.5 trillion dollar GDP IN YOUR FACE). It then becomes a sticking point in the relationship and becomes more important than it should. Maybe you should give Chinese life a try? You may be better off considering the economy.
中国人的误解1：美国和中国一样，只是人人都超级有钱。
中国人的误解2；“有钱”意味着没有外债加大笔银行存款。有欠债信用卡以及抵押的人都是疯子和傻子。（注：美国人负债消费的生活方式使得中国女人看不起我们，尽管现在她们的朋友和邻居回到中国也有房贷和车贷。由于误解1这里产生了对美国人的双重标准。）
中国人的误解3：我在中国吃过肯德基，麦当劳等。我喜欢这些食物。因为它们都是美国餐馆，所以美国的食物一定也是这个味道。我在美国也能适应当地的食物。美国的麦当劳肯定也会有墨鱼饼的。（译者：不知道麦当劳有木有这个菜，直译的）
中国人的误解4：中式的处事方式都是对的。很多中国人期望到美国找到街上铺着金子流着牛奶蜂蜜的神奇土地。这都是中国媒体瞎扯的。所有以美国为背景的中国电影都发生在拉斯维加斯，好莱坞，或曼哈顿。当他们发现我们个个体重超过40磅，一周工作60小时，还是月光族，他们会幻想俱灭，痛苦的个个想撞墙。
如果我们对他们的失望不给以满意的答复，就可能会造成争吵。（如：如果我让我的祖国被一个从小照看煤火还在地洞里拉屎的共产主义者小看话，我会被谴责的）。这还会妨碍两国人的关系，而且变得非常严重。也许你应该试试中式生活方式？最好考虑下经济问题？
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-------------译者：落木萧萧-------------
25# NewDay2006
@17#
I lived in Broken Arrow for 1 year in my early 30's... I moved from NYC.... I didn't adjust very well... I moved to Atlanta and have been here ever since for 20 years.
（回复17楼）我30岁左右那会，曾在断箭市（注：美国俄克拉荷马州城市）住过1年... 我当时是从纽约搬过去的.... 我不是非常适应那里... 后来我又去了亚特兰大，算起来直到现在住了有20年了。
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26# griz326
Picking up on david_dawei's point... I was a radio, television and print journalist for more than 20 years. The work poisons the soul of decent human beings; that's why I quit. "Those things you dwell upon the most will surely come upon you" and journalists dwell on the negative by design.
Moving on.....
During the Carter administration, I was in Japan. Before we made port, the old time seaman were telling the new guys how the Japanese girls would be hanging all over us USC's - even the fat and ugly ones! Once in port we learned the adaptability of the female of the species. Back then Japan was kicking USA ass, so the beautiful girls were on the arms of the now wealthy Japanese men. America was no longer the land of gumdrops and lollipops for them.
In this current economy, China still thrives while the USA is mired in the muck of bad habits. I sincerely doubt that this is lost on the women in China considering marriage to a USC.
China has a great deal more to offer today than it had just 10 years ago. Quite honestly, aside from my annual hunting trips and packin' heat, I could probably move to and be happy in China. ...if I could acquire a taste for Chinese hooch...
Unless the USA wises up (and this is not an Obama bash), this country will soon become a washed up, has been nation on the trash heap of history. That's our fault...not the politician's fault because collectively, we never shouldered our responsibilities as citizens.
看了david_dawei网友的观点... 我曾经做广播，电视，纸质媒体的新闻记者超过20年。那种工作会侵蚀一个正直的人的灵魂的；所以后来我辞职了。“当你深思、挖掘某些事情的时候，那些事情便会成为你的负担”，而新闻工作者正是在不断有意地挖掘着（人性的）负面的。
继续......
卡特政府当政时期，我正在日本。我们入港前，老一辈的水手们正在告诉新人们，那些日本女孩儿们是怎样与我们上床的 - 甚至是那些肥胖丑陋的！（注：抱歉没太看懂，猜测是这个意思）当我们上岸以后，我算见识到了那些不同类的女性的适应能力了。在此之前日本踢着美国屁股的时候，那些漂亮的女孩们则枕在那些富裕起来的日本男人的臂弯里。那个时候，美国对她们来说不再是满地都是软糖和棒棒糖的国度了。
在今天的经济体系中，中国依旧是繁荣的，而美国则陷入了以往坏习惯遗留问题的泥沼中。而我真切地怀疑，那些仍旧考虑嫁给普通美国人的中国女人们，是不是迷失了，堕落了。
今天的中国比十年前的时候能提供更多的东西了。坦白地讲，如果不是我年年都要打猎、玩玩枪的话，可能我会移居中国并享受那里的生活的。...如果我能喜欢上中国的烈酒的话...
除非美国能够聪明起来（奥巴马这届是不指望了），不然这个国家会变成一个失败的，走进历史垃圾堆的国家的。这是我们的错误...而不是政客们的错误，因为我们所有人，从来没有承担起作为公民应有的义务。
http://www.ltaaa.com/wtfy/5289.html
you said 3-4 months in the US she was already starting to not like it; and has been here 18 months but is in a journalism school now.
1. Has she returned to china since arriving in the US?
2. How far is she into the journalism school? And you in your school?
3. Is she serious about the study? It seems this school has further colored her opinion?
4. Does journalism still seem what she wants to pursue?
5. Does she have friends? Of those she has, mostly chinese?
你说在美国呆了3-4个月她就开始不喜欢了，现在呆了18个月但是在个新闻学院
1.她到美国后回去过没有？
2. 她入新闻学院多久了，你入了你自己要读的学校了吗？
3. 她对待学业认真吗，看起来这学校大大影响了她的看法。
4. 记者看起来还是她要追求的职业吗？
5.她有朋友吗？如果有,大多是中国人？
Over the last 18 months, would you say her negativity is a steady increase or certain points can be seen where it clearly jumps up? As you are well aware, education is quite different between the two cultures. I wonder how much this experience is pushing her towards the negative view of things.
It is probably a combination of homesickness, 'chinese way is better' and the fact that some of what she relates is really true about american students and culture. One can imagine an american in china facing this feeling (or dare we say hardship) and they would probably high tail it back to the US. She has the advantage of talking in english and probably understanding some of the cultural aspects but it doesn't seem to create a real positive experience.
I would not worry so much about the food or TV issue; that is such small stuff. Many chinese come over and are that way... and honestly, as was said, our food generally sucks and TV is a mindless brainwash anyways. She may as well have a few things which really bring her some emotional or psychological comfort.
A trip back to china could go either way; it could give her the needed breath she is often looking for or it could make her more slanted about her feelings. To not disrupt school, a trip during a normal break seems most reasonable.
这18个月她的消极性是一直稳步增长还是在几个时间点会质变疯长？就像你了解的，两国教育有很大不同。我在想这种经验（接受两国教育）在她都看事物不好的一面上起了多大作用。这可能是和思乡病的混合：“中国式的作法更好”。事实上她提到的一些关于美国学生和文化的事也是正确的。可以想象如果一个美国人在中国面临一些情绪（大胆点我们可以说是困难），他们很可能光速跑回美国。她英语口语能力好也可能懂美国文化方面的内容，但是这些看来没有为她创造一个真正好的经历。
我不很担心食物或电视这些东西，这些都是小事。许多中国人都是过来然后就这样子了..老实讲，像上几楼说的我们的食物一般很烂，电视就是洗空你脑子的东西。她可能有些让他情绪或精神放松的事情。
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19# danb
Bob. This is an interesting topic. As it has been pointed out perhaps a litle different then many of us on this board because of the age difference. But almost all of us have some difficulies and changelleges we all have to meet and overcome. Exactly where is your wife in her studies? Did she have to go ESL school or is she is a bachelor or master program? How is she adjusting to school? Is she being challenged or is she bored or is she having difficulties? I wonder how much different schooling for journalism in China compares to the US. It may be very different.
When you talked to you wife what was she expecting to find when she came to the USA? Probably what an 18 y.o versus a 22 yo versus a 45 year old's expectations will differ a lot. Have those expectation changed in the last 4 years? What is she doing to change her outlook on life in the USA? I wish you all the best of luck.
Danb
PS, What sort of thing have you done to introduce her into the "American" way of life? Does she work? Does she have many friends? What things does she like about the "American" way of life? Is it art, muscic, culture, the beach, clothing,sports, shopping or ??? There must be a lot of fun and interesting things to do near the University and in Florida. Or perhaps a job at the local paper or at the school newspaper or a local publishing house will allow to her to see things differently. Sorry about all the question but perhaps asking the right ones will help you find a solution.
Bob，这是一个有趣的主题。在论坛里我们年龄不同可能看法不同。但是我们几乎都要面对和克服一些困难和挑战。如你老婆的学业？她需要去语言学校或者他是一个学士又或她在读硕士？她怎么调试学业的？她是有挑战了还是烦了还是有困难了？我在想学习新闻中国和美国的不同。这可能有很大不同。
你在什么时候和你老婆谈过她来美国的目的？可能18岁.22岁.45岁的期望有很大差异。你老婆的期望这4年改变过吗？她在美国做了什么改变了她的人生观？我祝你十分好运吧。
Danb
PS,在帮她融入美国式生活的时候你做了什么？她是否工作？她有许多朋友吗？关于美式生活里她喜欢哪些？艺术，音乐，文化海滩，衣服，运动，购物，或是？在佛罗里达住离大学这么近肯能有好多好玩的事可以做。或许有一份地区报纸或校报或出版公司的工作会让她看到事物的其他方面。抱歉，问这么多问题，但是或许问了一个对的问题能帮你找到一个解决的办法。
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-------------译者：bigsnail-------------
20# bob23（楼主）
I am going to try and answer everyone's questions so bear with me I am originally from Ponca City.
1. We went back to China for 4 months since coming to the u.s. so she has really only been "here" for 14.
2. She is a junior but has enough hours to be a senior (just how everything worked out.. who know universities...)
3. I would say that she is somewhat serious, she doesn't feel like this is her "call" but she is serious enough to work hard and get good grades. I am not too sure if it has changed her opinion a lot, it very well could have. I went to a few of her classes and at times they can really push some insane points of view... so I am guessing it has some but it can't account for everything.
5. She has some "so so" friends I guess, she doesn't have any true friends like in china and I can really understand how that feels. I would say that its mostly Chinese but not all... but she really doesn't have many friends and like I said no "true" or "close" friends which is a serious problem I am trying to fix.
I would say it has been increasing over time with a few major bumps along the road Interestingly enough she believes Americans are way to optimistic and should be more negative.
After we got back from our 4 month stay in china should started complaining about China ect ect and was so so about going back to the u.s. We also lived in Europe and while she never displayed this extreme form of hate, she didn't like Europe and was ready to move to the u.s. (we moved from Europe to America).
我试着回答大家的问题，所以请宽容我刚刚从庞卡城回来。
1.从回到美国我们曾经在中国待了4个月，所以实际上她只在“这里”待了14个月。
2.她现在大三但足以升到大四（情况就是如此。。谁知道大学究竟是怎么回事。。
3.我觉得她就是个大四生了，但她觉得不是而且依然认真的的学习并且成绩优秀。我不确定这有没有改变一些她的观点，但这样挺好。我旁听过她的一些课，有时候这些课真的能灌输一些疯狂的观点。。。所以我认为这还是有作用的，虽然还不能说明一切。
5.她有一些酒肉朋友，却没有像在中国的那些真正的朋友，我能理解她的感受。她的那些朋友多数是中国人但也不全都是。。。她没有真正的朋友，这是我要解决的一个严重问题。 在解决这个问题的道路上荆棘遍布，有趣的是她认为美国人太乐观应该更消极点。
从中国回来后，她开始抱怨中国的种种，同时又抱怨回到美国。我们也曾住在欧洲，虽然她没表现出极端的厌恶，但她不喜欢欧洲而且准备去美国（我们曾从欧洲搬到美国）
-------------译者：husama-------------
She took a ton of English classes in China because she was heading to a European university at the time but none in the u.s. I would have to say some of her classes are fairly easy but others are very hard. If you mess up one comma you lose 5 points, misspell a name you fail the paper so it is really stressful.
I am not 100% sure what she was expecting, I think because she was younger she expected my family to really help fill the void that was being formed by leaving her family. Unfortunately though my mom works all the time because of the nature of her work (recovery nurse.. so on call all the time) and doesn't have much time to do things like her mom does. My sister just went on this crazy streak and really really showed my wife how slutty and messed up American girls can be. I honestly hate her for that...
I think everyone's expectations change as time goes along. If they had changed before we moved to America it was only that the western world isn't as perfect as so many girls think it is. But she found that out living in Europe... long before we moved to the u.s.
I am trying to get her in some clubs to let her meet more Chinese students... but she resists soo much. I think she just wants to give up and scrap the idea of living in the u.s. but I am really trying hard to push her into society.. at least parts that she can relate to.
She doesn't work but wants to find a part time job.
I think the main things to work on are: 1. friends 2. family 3. get her more into society 4. really try hard to make her have an open mind so she can try to adjust.
Any advice is warmly welcomed.
她那是要去欧洲读书所以之前在中国预先上了一堆英文课。我必须说她上的课有一些内容很简单，其余的真的很难。如果你弄乱一个标点，就要被扣掉五分。拼错了名字整张试卷会不及格，所以鸭梨会非常大。我100%确定那姑娘是充满期待的，她很年轻所以我想她希望能在我们身上找到一些什么填补她离开家园的心灵上的缺口。很不幸的是，我妈妈因为工作性质要全天工作(康复护士……因此要随时待命)，没能像她妈妈那样为她做那么多。我姐妹因为这个要抓狂了，天天向我老婆说一个美国女孩的生活能过得多么混乱糟糕。我真的很恨她这个……
我认为每个人的期望都会随着时间而变化。如果他们早在我们搬去美国之前就改变期待，发现西方国家并不像很多女孩想象中那么完美的事实。但她在欧洲就发现了这个……在我们搬去美国之前相当长的一段时间。
我尝试带她去俱乐部认识更多的中国学生，但她很抗拒。我觉得她一心想放弃在美国的生活。但我真的很努力地想把她带进当地的社交里去，至少是她能够得着的那一部分。
她不想做全职但想去兼职。
我认为需要解决的主要问题是：1、朋友 2、家庭 3、更多地接触社会 4、让她变得更开朗以便适应当地
欢迎提供任何建议。
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-------------译者：落木萧萧-------------
21# david_dawei
This may sound like a lot of 'duh' stuff, but I'll say it anyways.
1. Her age probably makes some of this more difficult. An older lady may be willing to put aside some issues in exchange for knowing she wants to stay here. Her youth and ambitions are just budding; she probably sees the world as something she can do whatever she wants and her travels maybe reinforce some of this. She's drawing judgments which in her mind are very clear cut. As a chinese, she would often just need to decide what to "do" and do it; in this case, she cannot apply such practical approaches. This will normally create frustration as she feels she has no control over some aspects of her life. This is a very common issue for most chinese that come here.
2. I think the difference in education and maybe student seriousness at the university level plays a role but it may be hard to quantize or really change that; it's a fact of the school and students and curriculum. I would not try to do too much about this other than listen to her and simply understand her feelings about it. Although there may be study group opportunities but she may rebuff them.
3. Gainsville. She already went to Europe and it was not much better. What will another city do? It could go either way. I would not pursue another city unless there is a really compelling reason. And complaining isn't enough since she may only want to be heard, and not asking for another city. The challenge to all the issues is when to "do" something vs just listening since for chinese, typically action is what they want. This will be the biggest challenge in my opinion. But you may find some discrete opportunities to just do something and I would stay aware of those times and seize them. Don't ask her 'should I do this or that'; if it comes to your mind, however small, "do it". Even small, fun distractions (ie: if she likes a certain ice cream, bring some home).
可能你们会觉得这些话是废话，但我还是要说：
1. 她的年纪可能使得她适应这边的生活更难一些。如果是一个年纪大一些的女士，她会选择留在这积极适应这而把遇到的问题先抛在一边。而你年轻的妻子则正是心中的渴望萌芽的年纪；可能在她的眼中，在这个世界里她应该可以尽情做她想做的事情，她过去的经历可能也使她愈发相信这一点。她对待事物有着清晰的自己的判断。作为一个中国人，她可能经常只需要决定“做”什么，然后便去做；从这个角度上讲，她并不适用于这些实践性的办法。通常这些会使她遭遇挫折，会使她觉得在某些方面上她无法掌握自己的生活。这是一个在来这边的中国人群体中很常见的问题。
2. 我认为教育体系的不同或者还有大学生在校的认真程度的不同也是很重要的因素，不过可能这个很难被量化比较抑或很难被改变；不过从学校，到学生，到课程来讲，确实存在这样的差异。如果是我的话我不会试图做太多的东西来改变，而会选择倾听她，或者只是设身处地地去理解她。尽管可能会有社团学习交流的机会给她，但她还是可能会拒绝的。
3. 关于盖恩斯维尔（楼主现居地）的问题。她曾经去过欧洲，但那依旧不能帮助她更好地适应这边的生活。那么换一个城市又能起到什么样的作用呢？或许还有其他的方式。如果是我，除非是有什么真的必要的原因，不然我是不会更换城市生活的。而（她的）抱怨是永远不会停止的，因为她可能只是想向人倾诉，而不是真的想换个城市生活。所有问题的挑战性都在于，是去“做”什么事，还是选择仅仅去听，而对中国人来说，他们想要的是行动，依我看来，这才是最大的问题所在。也许你会找到些零散的机会（为她）做不同的事情，而我更看重筹划并及时抓住每一个机会。不要问她“我是不是应该做这个或那个”；如果有什么想法闪现在你脑中了，即使只是微微一闪，“去做”。即使只是很小的事情，也能带来快乐。（比如：如果她喜欢冰激凌，那么就马上买些带回家）
-------------译者：zayne-------------
4. Accept these issues as both of your issues, not hers. If she falls into such talk like, " 'your' not listening to 'me' ", she is feeling a separation like this is 'her' issue only. You are her primary (maybe only) support; don't let distance develop. Don't let this eat you up. You are bound to feel like she may be unreasonable at times; just realize she may be thinking the same thing about your responses to her. Accept that her point of view and way of even making judgments are very real to her; your not likely to rationalize her out of that. So be careful of getting caught up in trying to rationalize.
5. The items you listed are going to be hard to achieve because this is your list. What list would you create if you were inside her head? Looking at your items in reverse: I would drop the last item; you cannot change another person, they can only change themself and if you appear to be trying to change her that might make it worse. Let her nature lead her. Which means #3 is also tough but find things you both get involved in. Family takes time and may not really be in her heart. I think as a chinese, she will expect the family to reach out to her, otherwise there is not much you can really accomplish inside her. Friends; that is always a good start but she's resistant. Just be careful of forcing issues.
4.把这些问题也看作你的问题，而不光是她的。如果她遇到这样的谈话像，”“你”没有在听“我”讲话“，她会感到
一种间距就像这是只“她”的问题。你是她的基本（也许不是）支持；不要产生距离。不要因这个吃定你。你注定会认为她偶尔会不可理喻；去想想她可能会同样考虑你对她的反应。接受这个事实那就是她的观点和判断的方法对她来说是非常实在的。你不太可能让她变得合理。所以小心被抓到想要让她变得合理。
5.你列的这几项将很难达到因为这是你列举的。如果你在她的头脑里你会列举出什么？反过来看看你列举的几项：我会放弃最后一项；你不能改变另一个人，他们只能自己去改变自己并且如果你想试着去改变她那只会使事情变得更糟。让她的本性领导她。 所谓#3 也很难，但要找到你们都专注的东西。家庭占据了时间，并且不会真正地在她心中。我认为她作为一个中国人会希望家庭能够接触到她。否则你没有多少能够真正完成的。朋友，那总是一个好的开始但她会抵抗。关心一下强制的问题。
-------------译者：aifeimumu-------------
6. What can you do? That will reveal itself but you need to remain open to sensing it. If you feel there is something, however small, to do, just do it. Does she prefer hot water or tea? Brew it without her asking. Maybe she says she only likes that in the morning; so do it in the morning. She prefers Chinese TV? Watch a show with her. She likes some fruit? Walk to the shop together and buy some. I know these are so insignificant on some level but you should show her that you "know" how to take care of the things she likes in life; that you do them without anyone telling you; You want to do them. Let these add up and overtake the "issues" that may be developing between you.
6.你能做什么？只要你一直敞开心扉去感受，答案是自会显现的。如果你觉得有问题，就算是小问题，去做，就去做。她是不是更喜欢热水或者茶？她没要求，也给她泡。也许她说她只喜欢早上喝；那就早上泡。她喜欢中文电视？和她一起看。
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-------------译者：husama-------------
23# carl.hops
All I can say is, I just went through what shes going through now, and I got past it. First you are excited about the new country and culture, then it starts to bother you, and then you either leave or learn to adjust and deal with it and if you do stay all the bad things that you were seeing before are easily dismissed. I'm loving China now, I found my balance between American culture and Chinese culture.
The way I stay sane is by staying away from the things that bother me, that being Traffic, I try and not ride my bike too much or go out during rush hour times which has brought down most of my complaints and unhappiness. I found some other locals around my age to hang out with and relate to, and a local American cafe that I can relax in every once in a while.
The only real good advice I can give to you is, don't expect her to eat "western" food. No matter where you are I'm sure you two will be perfectly capable of cooking and eating Chinese food, a change in diet can change an attitude greatly, that along with culture shock makes things far worse. Give her a daily dose of Chinese culture, some CCTV, speak Chinese more with her, buy her a wok and a gas burner etc... All of that will go a long way. After that all you can do is wait and be supportive, not everyone adjusts at the same pace. When I first arrived in China I enjoyed life and was excited and curious for about a year, then that started to wear off and I became frustrated, that lasted about 7 months, then I got over all the small things, and then I finally accepted them and started enjoying my life again.
所有我想说的是，她经历的我全都经历过，但我把坎迈过去了。一开始你对新国家和文化很兴奋，然后这些开始困扰你，你只能选择离开或者留下来学习适应它。如果你成天看到坏的东西你会很容易放弃。我现在很爱中国，我找到了中国文化和美国文化的平衡点。
我保持理智的方式是远离那些困扰的东西，比如交通。我会试着不去骑那么多自行车，不在高峰期外出，这真的会减少很多抱怨和不开心。我找到一些可以一起厮混的、和我年龄差不多的同龄人，还有一个美国小咖啡厅，我可以时不时去放松放松。
我能给你一个很好的意见就是，不要指望她吃“西式”食品。你们在哪儿都好，我相信你们肯定能做得一手好中国菜。食物的变化可以带来观念上的转变，随之而来的文化冲击可能让处境更糟。每天给她来一小剂关于中国文化的药：看看CCTV，说点中文，给她买个锅和燃气炉等等。这些要持续一段时间。你能做的就是等待还有给点鼓励，不是所有人都一样快地适应环境。当我初次来到中国，我很享受，对新生活感到兴奋和好奇，这样的情况持续了一年。随之而来是七个月的挫折和沮丧，再后来我通过这些小事逐渐过渡，最终又重新开始享受我的新生活。
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-------------译者：bigsnail-------------
24# Minister
Secret Chinese misconception #1: America is just like China only everyone is super rich.
Secret Chinese misconception #2: "Rich" means no debt plus tons of money in the bank. People with credit card debt or a mortgage are crazy and stupid. (Note: A Chinese woman will look down on Americans for our debt lifestyle even though their friends and neighbors back home in China all now have mortgages and car loans. There is a double standard applied to Americans because of Misconception #1)
Secret Chinese misconception #3: I've had KFC, McDonalds, etc. etc. in China. I like those foods in China. That must be what American food tastes like because those are American restaurants. I will be fine in America. Surely they will have paprika-covered squid cakes at McDonalds in America.
Secret Chinese misconception #4: The Chinese way of doing everything is right.
Most Chinese expect to come here and find the mythical land of streets paved with gold flowing with milk and honey. This is supported by their media. All Chinese movies that take place in America take place in Las Vegas, Hollywood, or Manhattan. When they find out that we're all 40 pounds overweight, we all work 60 hours a week, and we all live paycheck to paycheck, their illusions are shattered and they tend to react bitterly.
This may lead to quarrels as we don't respond well to their disappointment (i.e. "I'll be darned if I'm going to let my home be belittled by a no good commie who grew up tending a coal fire and shitting in a hole in the ground. 14.5 trillion dollar GDP IN YOUR FACE). It then becomes a sticking point in the relationship and becomes more important than it should. Maybe you should give Chinese life a try? You may be better off considering the economy.
中国人的误解1：美国和中国一样，只是人人都超级有钱。
中国人的误解2；“有钱”意味着没有外债加大笔银行存款。有欠债信用卡以及抵押的人都是疯子和傻子。（注：美国人负债消费的生活方式使得中国女人看不起我们，尽管现在她们的朋友和邻居回到中国也有房贷和车贷。由于误解1这里产生了对美国人的双重标准。）
中国人的误解3：我在中国吃过肯德基，麦当劳等。我喜欢这些食物。因为它们都是美国餐馆，所以美国的食物一定也是这个味道。我在美国也能适应当地的食物。美国的麦当劳肯定也会有墨鱼饼的。（译者：不知道麦当劳有木有这个菜，直译的）
中国人的误解4：中式的处事方式都是对的。很多中国人期望到美国找到街上铺着金子流着牛奶蜂蜜的神奇土地。这都是中国媒体瞎扯的。所有以美国为背景的中国电影都发生在拉斯维加斯，好莱坞，或曼哈顿。当他们发现我们个个体重超过40磅，一周工作60小时，还是月光族，他们会幻想俱灭，痛苦的个个想撞墙。
如果我们对他们的失望不给以满意的答复，就可能会造成争吵。（如：如果我让我的祖国被一个从小照看煤火还在地洞里拉屎的共产主义者小看话，我会被谴责的）。这还会妨碍两国人的关系，而且变得非常严重。也许你应该试试中式生活方式？最好考虑下经济问题？
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-------------译者：落木萧萧-------------
25# NewDay2006
@17#
I lived in Broken Arrow for 1 year in my early 30's... I moved from NYC.... I didn't adjust very well... I moved to Atlanta and have been here ever since for 20 years.
（回复17楼）我30岁左右那会，曾在断箭市（注：美国俄克拉荷马州城市）住过1年... 我当时是从纽约搬过去的.... 我不是非常适应那里... 后来我又去了亚特兰大，算起来直到现在住了有20年了。
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26# griz326
Picking up on david_dawei's point... I was a radio, television and print journalist for more than 20 years. The work poisons the soul of decent human beings; that's why I quit. "Those things you dwell upon the most will surely come upon you" and journalists dwell on the negative by design.
Moving on.....
During the Carter administration, I was in Japan. Before we made port, the old time seaman were telling the new guys how the Japanese girls would be hanging all over us USC's - even the fat and ugly ones! Once in port we learned the adaptability of the female of the species. Back then Japan was kicking USA ass, so the beautiful girls were on the arms of the now wealthy Japanese men. America was no longer the land of gumdrops and lollipops for them.
In this current economy, China still thrives while the USA is mired in the muck of bad habits. I sincerely doubt that this is lost on the women in China considering marriage to a USC.
China has a great deal more to offer today than it had just 10 years ago. Quite honestly, aside from my annual hunting trips and packin' heat, I could probably move to and be happy in China. ...if I could acquire a taste for Chinese hooch...
Unless the USA wises up (and this is not an Obama bash), this country will soon become a washed up, has been nation on the trash heap of history. That's our fault...not the politician's fault because collectively, we never shouldered our responsibilities as citizens.
看了david_dawei网友的观点... 我曾经做广播，电视，纸质媒体的新闻记者超过20年。那种工作会侵蚀一个正直的人的灵魂的；所以后来我辞职了。“当你深思、挖掘某些事情的时候，那些事情便会成为你的负担”，而新闻工作者正是在不断有意地挖掘着（人性的）负面的。
继续......
卡特政府当政时期，我正在日本。我们入港前，老一辈的水手们正在告诉新人们，那些日本女孩儿们是怎样与我们上床的 - 甚至是那些肥胖丑陋的！（注：抱歉没太看懂，猜测是这个意思）当我们上岸以后，我算见识到了那些不同类的女性的适应能力了。在此之前日本踢着美国屁股的时候，那些漂亮的女孩们则枕在那些富裕起来的日本男人的臂弯里。那个时候，美国对她们来说不再是满地都是软糖和棒棒糖的国度了。
在今天的经济体系中，中国依旧是繁荣的，而美国则陷入了以往坏习惯遗留问题的泥沼中。而我真切地怀疑，那些仍旧考虑嫁给普通美国人的中国女人们，是不是迷失了，堕落了。
今天的中国比十年前的时候能提供更多的东西了。坦白地讲，如果不是我年年都要打猎、玩玩枪的话，可能我会移居中国并享受那里的生活的。...如果我能喜欢上中国的烈酒的话...
除非美国能够聪明起来（奥巴马这届是不指望了），不然这个国家会变成一个失败的，走进历史垃圾堆的国家的。这是我们的错误...而不是政客们的错误，因为我们所有人，从来没有承担起作为公民应有的义务。
http://www.ltaaa.com/wtfy/5289.html
总算通过了
两口子都比较有能力的话，在中国我觉得过得不会比美国差，甚至机会更多事业更好。
嫁外国人的姑娘不少啊。
当他们发现我们个个体重超过40磅，一周工作60小时，还是月光族，他们会幻想俱灭，痛苦的个个想撞墙。
额。。。。这这这。。。
额。。。。这这这。。。
听里面一个人的口气，加州被华裔占领了？
为自己的选择负责，为自己的选择努力
这个帖子似乎反映了一个现象，有钱在哪里都能过好，所以还是家乡好！！！