超级军网圣战分子如何决定谁成为人体炸弹——超搞笑，转自龙腾
来源：百度文库 编辑：超级军网 时间：2024/04/27 16:37:49
链接：http://www.ltaaa.com/wtfy/12224.html
圣战分子如何决定谁成为人体炸弹
HOW JIHADIS DECIDE WHO BECOMES THE SUICIDE BOMBER
作者:翻译加工厂 发布日期:2014-02-17 浏览:6815
译文简介:
圣战分子的世界充满了伦理困境和复杂的问题。这在操作问题上尤为明显，但至今为止极少有对于圣战分子采用的复杂方法的报道。
译文来源:
http://www.vice.com/read/how-jih ... -the-suicide-bomber
正文翻译:
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
The world of jihadis is fraught with ethical dilemmas and complex questions. This is particularly evident in operational matters, but there has so far been very little coverage of the intricate methods that jihadis employ. Choosing who gets to be a suicide bomber is a particularly thorny issue that has been completely unexplored. Until now. In an unprecedented coup, we gained access to a meeting that illustrated the complicated procedure involved. The transcript of this fascinating encounter is below.
圣战分子的世界充满了伦理困境和复杂的问题。这在操作问题上尤为明显，但至今为止极少有对于圣战分子采用的复杂方法的报道。选择谁去当个人体炸弹一直是个棘手的问题，而人们完全没发现这一点。而现在，在一次出乎意料的行动中，我们有机会参加一个说明这个复杂程序的会议。这次迷人遭遇的文字记录将在下文列出.
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
Jihadi Commander: I have called you all in today so we can decide who gets to be the suicide bomber in the operation tomorrow. Any volunteers?
圣战分子指挥官：我把你们今天都叫来，这样我们好决定谁在明天的行动中当人体炸弹。有自告奋勇的么？
[Silence.]
【一片安静】
Typical. Where is your zeal? Do we have to go through this every time? Why can’t one of you volunteer?
真是典型的场景啊。你们的热情呢？我们一定要每次都经历这些（沉默）么？你们当中就不能有一个自告奋勇的么？
Jihadi Recruit 1: Why don’t you volunteer?
圣战分子新兵1：你自己干嘛不上？
Commander: I’m the commander! Someone needs to be in charge.
指挥官：我是指挥官！得有个人指挥！
Jihadi Recruit 2: Who died and made you boss?
圣战分子新兵2：是谁死了让你当上老大的？
Commander: Abu Omar! You know that. He said I should be the boss before he went to do his suicide operation.
指挥官：是Abu Omar!你知道的。他去履行自杀任务之前说应该由我来担任老大。。
Recruit 1: See, he didn’t mind even though he was the commander.
新兵1：看，他倒不介意（当人体炸弹）尽管他是指挥官.
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
Commander: It’s different.
指挥官；那不一样。
Recruit 1: How’s that different?
新兵1：有什么不一样？
Commander: You don’t understand these things. Now we need to decide quickly. The blessed one needs to get measured for the suicide vest. We don’t have these in all sizes.
指挥官：这些你不懂。现在，我们得快点决定（谁来当人体炸弹）了。得到祝福的人（当人体炸弹的人）需要一个自杀式炸弹背心。我们不是什么尺码的都有。
Jihadi Recruit 3: Why don’t we pick names out of a hat?
圣战分子新兵3：我们为什么不任意抽名字呢？
Commander: That’s gambling, you idiot! We’re not allowed to gamble.
指挥官：这是赌博，你这傻瓜！赌博是不被允许的。
Recruit 3: I’m sure Allah would understand this one time.
新兵3：我想这么一次安拉会理解的。
Commander: You can’t even write your name, and you want to become a theologian? We’re not doing that!
指挥官：你甚至连自己的名字都不会写，你还想当个神学家？我们不会这么做的！
Recruit 1: How about eeny, meeny, miney, moe?
新兵1：那”eeny, meeny, miney, moe“怎么样？（一种儿歌句式，类似你拍一，我拍一。。。。）
Recruit 2: What are you, six? We are al Qaeda! We can’t play eeny, meeny, miney, moe.
新兵2：你是6岁小孩儿么？我们是基地组织！我们不能玩”eeny, meeny, miney, moe“。
Recruit1: Let’s do it by alphabetical order.
新兵1：那就按字母顺序来。
Recruit 2: Now wouldn’t that be convenient? Your name is Ziad, and my name is Amjad.
新兵2：哦现在就方便了？你的名字是Ziad，而我的是Amjad。
Recruit 1: It is written.
新兵1：那都是书面的。
Recruit 2: Don’t go all Sufi on me. Your real name is Andrew, anyway; you chose the name Ziad. Converts.
新兵2：不要用苏菲派来找借口。无论如何你真名叫Andrew，而你选了Ziad这个名字，改教者。
Recruit 1: What’s that?
新兵1：那是什么？
Recruit 2: Nothing.
新兵2：没什么。
Commander: Shut up, both of you. The infidels are laughing at us. Look at them sniggering in the corner. This was supposed to be a professional PR exercise; you’re ruining the whole thing.
指挥官；你们两个闭嘴。这些异教徒在嘲笑我们。看他们在角落里窃笑。这本该是一次专业的公关活动，结果你们把一切都毁了。
VICE: No, no, we weren’t…
VICE工作人员（VICE是发布该记录的网站）：不，不，我们没有。。。
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
Recruit: Let’s just kill them—that’s easier.
新兵：干脆杀了他们---这样简单点。
When did this become about us?
什么时候牵扯到我们了？
Commander: We’re not killing them. Why don’t you go? You don’t want to serve Allah? There are beautiful maidens waiting for you in
heaven.
指挥官：我们不会杀他们的。你干嘛不去（当人弹）？你不想为真主服务么？在天堂里有美丽的处女在等着你哦。
Recruit 2: I want to, but there are a few things I want to do before.
新兵2：我也想去，但在这之前我还有事想做。
Commander: Like what?
指挥官：比如说什么？
Recruit 2: I’ve never been skiing.
新兵2：我还没滑过雪。
Commander: We’re in the middle of the desert!
指挥官：我们在沙漠中央！
Recruit 2: I don’t have to do it here. I could go to Europe one day.
新兵：我不必在这儿滑。有一天我可以去欧洲。
Commander: You’re making long-term plans? Maybe you don’t understand what being a jihadi is.
指挥官：你在制定长期目标？或许你还不明白当一个圣战分子意味着什么。
Recruit 2: I do! I just want to go skiing before I die. Can’t a mujahid live out his dream?
新兵2：我明白！我就是想在死前去滑雪。一个圣战战士就不能实现他的梦想了么？
Recruit 3: Actually, I saw this thing on TV once—they were skiing on the sand in Dubai.
新兵3：确实，我曾在电视上看到过---他们在迪拜的沙滩上“滑雪”。
Commander: That wouldn’t work.
指挥官：那不管用。
Recruit 3: It totally did! It looked really, really fun.
新兵3：那很好玩！它看起来真的真的很有趣。
Recruit 1: Maybe we should try it. Then he can go.
新兵1：或许我们该去试试，然后他就能安心上路了。
Recruit 2: No, I want to do it on snow, like the real thing.
新兵2：不，我想在雪上滑，那才和真的一样。
Recruit 1: Let’s try it anyway. It sounds like fun.
新兵1：不管怎么说去试试吧，听起来蛮有趣的。
Commander: We’re not trying anything! We need to prepare for the operation!
指挥官：我们什么都不会试！我们得为行动做准备了！
Recruit 1: Relaxing is important for morale. You should employ some modern-management theory.
新兵1：学会放松对士气很重要。你得采用一些现代管理学的理论。
Commander: I’m old-school. How about a religious knowledge quiz?
指挥官：我是个老派的人。办个宗教知识问答怎么样？
Recruit 2: I’m not so into that.
新兵2：我不是很有兴趣。
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
Commander: You’re in al Qaeda!
指挥官：你在基地组织！
Recruit 2: I’m more into practice than theory. I’m a hands-on guy.
新兵2：比起理论我更喜欢实践。我是个喜欢亲自实践的人。
Commander: I am going to decide who goes then. This is not a democracy.
指挥官：我现在就要决定谁去了，这可不是民主。
Recruit 1: I think you are a wise man, you should choose.
新兵1：我觉得你是个聪明人，应该你来选。
Commander: I know what you are doing.
指挥官：我知道你在干什么。
Recruit 3: Let’s play a video game and the loser goes.
新兵3：来玩个电视游戏吧，输的人去。
Commander: We’re not playing games! Who are you? American teenagers? How did I end up with you lot? I’m going to decide.
指挥官：我们不会玩游戏！你是谁？美国青少年？你有完没完？我就要决定了。
Recruit 2: Wait, how about we send Ahmad?
新兵2：等等，我们送Ahmad去怎么样？
Commander: Where is Ahmad?
指挥官：Ahmad人在哪儿？
Recruit 2: He went to the market to buy beard cream. You know he snores so loudly and keeps us all awake? Two birds with one stone.
Give him the gift of martyrdom, and let us all get some decent sleep. We need it; we have important work.
新兵2：他去集市买胡须膏了。你知道他打呼噜响的让我们睡不着么？简直一石二鸟啊。
咱们把殉教当做礼物送给他，我们又可以好好睡觉。我们需要这么做，我们还有重要的工作呢。
Commander: I have made my decision. We are sending Ahmad.
指挥官：我做出决定了。我们送 Ahmad去。
Recruit 1: Now, who’s going to tell him the news?
新兵1：现在谁去告诉他这消息？
Commander: Any volunteers?
指挥官：有人自告奋勇的么？
Karl Sharro is an architect, writer, satirist, and commentator on the Middle East. He has written for a number of international publications and writes a blog, Karl reMarks, about Middle Eastern politics and culture, with occasional forays into satire. You can
follow him on Twitter at @KarlreMarks.
Karl Sharro是一位建筑学家，写手，讽刺作家，以及一位中东评论家。他给很多国际出版社写过稿，同时也在写博客。Karl关于中东政治的话偶尔带着讽刺。你可以在Twitter上关注他@KarlreMarks.。链接：http://www.ltaaa.com/wtfy/12224.html
圣战分子如何决定谁成为人体炸弹
HOW JIHADIS DECIDE WHO BECOMES THE SUICIDE BOMBER
作者:翻译加工厂 发布日期:2014-02-17 浏览:6815
译文简介:
圣战分子的世界充满了伦理困境和复杂的问题。这在操作问题上尤为明显，但至今为止极少有对于圣战分子采用的复杂方法的报道。
译文来源:
http://www.vice.com/read/how-jih ... -the-suicide-bomber
正文翻译:
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
The world of jihadis is fraught with ethical dilemmas and complex questions. This is particularly evident in operational matters, but there has so far been very little coverage of the intricate methods that jihadis employ. Choosing who gets to be a suicide bomber is a particularly thorny issue that has been completely unexplored. Until now. In an unprecedented coup, we gained access to a meeting that illustrated the complicated procedure involved. The transcript of this fascinating encounter is below.
圣战分子的世界充满了伦理困境和复杂的问题。这在操作问题上尤为明显，但至今为止极少有对于圣战分子采用的复杂方法的报道。选择谁去当个人体炸弹一直是个棘手的问题，而人们完全没发现这一点。而现在，在一次出乎意料的行动中，我们有机会参加一个说明这个复杂程序的会议。这次迷人遭遇的文字记录将在下文列出.
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
Jihadi Commander: I have called you all in today so we can decide who gets to be the suicide bomber in the operation tomorrow. Any volunteers?
圣战分子指挥官：我把你们今天都叫来，这样我们好决定谁在明天的行动中当人体炸弹。有自告奋勇的么？
[Silence.]
【一片安静】
Typical. Where is your zeal? Do we have to go through this every time? Why can’t one of you volunteer?
真是典型的场景啊。你们的热情呢？我们一定要每次都经历这些（沉默）么？你们当中就不能有一个自告奋勇的么？
Jihadi Recruit 1: Why don’t you volunteer?
圣战分子新兵1：你自己干嘛不上？
Commander: I’m the commander! Someone needs to be in charge.
指挥官：我是指挥官！得有个人指挥！
Jihadi Recruit 2: Who died and made you boss?
圣战分子新兵2：是谁死了让你当上老大的？
Commander: Abu Omar! You know that. He said I should be the boss before he went to do his suicide operation.
指挥官：是Abu Omar!你知道的。他去履行自杀任务之前说应该由我来担任老大。。
Recruit 1: See, he didn’t mind even though he was the commander.
新兵1：看，他倒不介意（当人体炸弹）尽管他是指挥官.
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
Commander: It’s different.
指挥官；那不一样。
Recruit 1: How’s that different?
新兵1：有什么不一样？
Commander: You don’t understand these things. Now we need to decide quickly. The blessed one needs to get measured for the suicide vest. We don’t have these in all sizes.
指挥官：这些你不懂。现在，我们得快点决定（谁来当人体炸弹）了。得到祝福的人（当人体炸弹的人）需要一个自杀式炸弹背心。我们不是什么尺码的都有。
Jihadi Recruit 3: Why don’t we pick names out of a hat?
圣战分子新兵3：我们为什么不任意抽名字呢？
Commander: That’s gambling, you idiot! We’re not allowed to gamble.
指挥官：这是赌博，你这傻瓜！赌博是不被允许的。
Recruit 3: I’m sure Allah would understand this one time.
新兵3：我想这么一次安拉会理解的。
Commander: You can’t even write your name, and you want to become a theologian? We’re not doing that!
指挥官：你甚至连自己的名字都不会写，你还想当个神学家？我们不会这么做的！
Recruit 1: How about eeny, meeny, miney, moe?
新兵1：那”eeny, meeny, miney, moe“怎么样？（一种儿歌句式，类似你拍一，我拍一。。。。）
Recruit 2: What are you, six? We are al Qaeda! We can’t play eeny, meeny, miney, moe.
新兵2：你是6岁小孩儿么？我们是基地组织！我们不能玩”eeny, meeny, miney, moe“。
Recruit1: Let’s do it by alphabetical order.
新兵1：那就按字母顺序来。
Recruit 2: Now wouldn’t that be convenient? Your name is Ziad, and my name is Amjad.
新兵2：哦现在就方便了？你的名字是Ziad，而我的是Amjad。
Recruit 1: It is written.
新兵1：那都是书面的。
Recruit 2: Don’t go all Sufi on me. Your real name is Andrew, anyway; you chose the name Ziad. Converts.
新兵2：不要用苏菲派来找借口。无论如何你真名叫Andrew，而你选了Ziad这个名字，改教者。
Recruit 1: What’s that?
新兵1：那是什么？
Recruit 2: Nothing.
新兵2：没什么。
Commander: Shut up, both of you. The infidels are laughing at us. Look at them sniggering in the corner. This was supposed to be a professional PR exercise; you’re ruining the whole thing.
指挥官；你们两个闭嘴。这些异教徒在嘲笑我们。看他们在角落里窃笑。这本该是一次专业的公关活动，结果你们把一切都毁了。
VICE: No, no, we weren’t…
VICE工作人员（VICE是发布该记录的网站）：不，不，我们没有。。。
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
Recruit: Let’s just kill them—that’s easier.
新兵：干脆杀了他们---这样简单点。
When did this become about us?
什么时候牵扯到我们了？
Commander: We’re not killing them. Why don’t you go? You don’t want to serve Allah? There are beautiful maidens waiting for you in
heaven.
指挥官：我们不会杀他们的。你干嘛不去（当人弹）？你不想为真主服务么？在天堂里有美丽的处女在等着你哦。
Recruit 2: I want to, but there are a few things I want to do before.
新兵2：我也想去，但在这之前我还有事想做。
Commander: Like what?
指挥官：比如说什么？
Recruit 2: I’ve never been skiing.
新兵2：我还没滑过雪。
Commander: We’re in the middle of the desert!
指挥官：我们在沙漠中央！
Recruit 2: I don’t have to do it here. I could go to Europe one day.
新兵：我不必在这儿滑。有一天我可以去欧洲。
Commander: You’re making long-term plans? Maybe you don’t understand what being a jihadi is.
指挥官：你在制定长期目标？或许你还不明白当一个圣战分子意味着什么。
Recruit 2: I do! I just want to go skiing before I die. Can’t a mujahid live out his dream?
新兵2：我明白！我就是想在死前去滑雪。一个圣战战士就不能实现他的梦想了么？
Recruit 3: Actually, I saw this thing on TV once—they were skiing on the sand in Dubai.
新兵3：确实，我曾在电视上看到过---他们在迪拜的沙滩上“滑雪”。
Commander: That wouldn’t work.
指挥官：那不管用。
Recruit 3: It totally did! It looked really, really fun.
新兵3：那很好玩！它看起来真的真的很有趣。
Recruit 1: Maybe we should try it. Then he can go.
新兵1：或许我们该去试试，然后他就能安心上路了。
Recruit 2: No, I want to do it on snow, like the real thing.
新兵2：不，我想在雪上滑，那才和真的一样。
Recruit 1: Let’s try it anyway. It sounds like fun.
新兵1：不管怎么说去试试吧，听起来蛮有趣的。
Commander: We’re not trying anything! We need to prepare for the operation!
指挥官：我们什么都不会试！我们得为行动做准备了！
Recruit 1: Relaxing is important for morale. You should employ some modern-management theory.
新兵1：学会放松对士气很重要。你得采用一些现代管理学的理论。
Commander: I’m old-school. How about a religious knowledge quiz?
指挥官：我是个老派的人。办个宗教知识问答怎么样？
Recruit 2: I’m not so into that.
新兵2：我不是很有兴趣。
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
Commander: You’re in al Qaeda!
指挥官：你在基地组织！
Recruit 2: I’m more into practice than theory. I’m a hands-on guy.
新兵2：比起理论我更喜欢实践。我是个喜欢亲自实践的人。
Commander: I am going to decide who goes then. This is not a democracy.
指挥官：我现在就要决定谁去了，这可不是民主。
Recruit 1: I think you are a wise man, you should choose.
新兵1：我觉得你是个聪明人，应该你来选。
Commander: I know what you are doing.
指挥官：我知道你在干什么。
Recruit 3: Let’s play a video game and the loser goes.
新兵3：来玩个电视游戏吧，输的人去。
Commander: We’re not playing games! Who are you? American teenagers? How did I end up with you lot? I’m going to decide.
指挥官：我们不会玩游戏！你是谁？美国青少年？你有完没完？我就要决定了。
Recruit 2: Wait, how about we send Ahmad?
新兵2：等等，我们送Ahmad去怎么样？
Commander: Where is Ahmad?
指挥官：Ahmad人在哪儿？
Recruit 2: He went to the market to buy beard cream. You know he snores so loudly and keeps us all awake? Two birds with one stone.
Give him the gift of martyrdom, and let us all get some decent sleep. We need it; we have important work.
新兵2：他去集市买胡须膏了。你知道他打呼噜响的让我们睡不着么？简直一石二鸟啊。
咱们把殉教当做礼物送给他，我们又可以好好睡觉。我们需要这么做，我们还有重要的工作呢。
Commander: I have made my decision. We are sending Ahmad.
指挥官：我做出决定了。我们送 Ahmad去。
Recruit 1: Now, who’s going to tell him the news?
新兵1：现在谁去告诉他这消息？
Commander: Any volunteers?
指挥官：有人自告奋勇的么？
Karl Sharro is an architect, writer, satirist, and commentator on the Middle East. He has written for a number of international publications and writes a blog, Karl reMarks, about Middle Eastern politics and culture, with occasional forays into satire. You can
follow him on Twitter at @KarlreMarks.
Karl Sharro是一位建筑学家，写手，讽刺作家，以及一位中东评论家。他给很多国际出版社写过稿，同时也在写博客。Karl关于中东政治的话偶尔带着讽刺。你可以在Twitter上关注他@KarlreMarks.。
圣战分子如何决定谁成为人体炸弹
HOW JIHADIS DECIDE WHO BECOMES THE SUICIDE BOMBER
作者:翻译加工厂 发布日期:2014-02-17 浏览:6815
译文简介:
圣战分子的世界充满了伦理困境和复杂的问题。这在操作问题上尤为明显，但至今为止极少有对于圣战分子采用的复杂方法的报道。
译文来源:
http://www.vice.com/read/how-jih ... -the-suicide-bomber
正文翻译:
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
The world of jihadis is fraught with ethical dilemmas and complex questions. This is particularly evident in operational matters, but there has so far been very little coverage of the intricate methods that jihadis employ. Choosing who gets to be a suicide bomber is a particularly thorny issue that has been completely unexplored. Until now. In an unprecedented coup, we gained access to a meeting that illustrated the complicated procedure involved. The transcript of this fascinating encounter is below.
圣战分子的世界充满了伦理困境和复杂的问题。这在操作问题上尤为明显，但至今为止极少有对于圣战分子采用的复杂方法的报道。选择谁去当个人体炸弹一直是个棘手的问题，而人们完全没发现这一点。而现在，在一次出乎意料的行动中，我们有机会参加一个说明这个复杂程序的会议。这次迷人遭遇的文字记录将在下文列出.
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
Jihadi Commander: I have called you all in today so we can decide who gets to be the suicide bomber in the operation tomorrow. Any volunteers?
圣战分子指挥官：我把你们今天都叫来，这样我们好决定谁在明天的行动中当人体炸弹。有自告奋勇的么？
[Silence.]
【一片安静】
Typical. Where is your zeal? Do we have to go through this every time? Why can’t one of you volunteer?
真是典型的场景啊。你们的热情呢？我们一定要每次都经历这些（沉默）么？你们当中就不能有一个自告奋勇的么？
Jihadi Recruit 1: Why don’t you volunteer?
圣战分子新兵1：你自己干嘛不上？
Commander: I’m the commander! Someone needs to be in charge.
指挥官：我是指挥官！得有个人指挥！
Jihadi Recruit 2: Who died and made you boss?
圣战分子新兵2：是谁死了让你当上老大的？
Commander: Abu Omar! You know that. He said I should be the boss before he went to do his suicide operation.
指挥官：是Abu Omar!你知道的。他去履行自杀任务之前说应该由我来担任老大。。
Recruit 1: See, he didn’t mind even though he was the commander.
新兵1：看，他倒不介意（当人体炸弹）尽管他是指挥官.
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
Commander: It’s different.
指挥官；那不一样。
Recruit 1: How’s that different?
新兵1：有什么不一样？
Commander: You don’t understand these things. Now we need to decide quickly. The blessed one needs to get measured for the suicide vest. We don’t have these in all sizes.
指挥官：这些你不懂。现在，我们得快点决定（谁来当人体炸弹）了。得到祝福的人（当人体炸弹的人）需要一个自杀式炸弹背心。我们不是什么尺码的都有。
Jihadi Recruit 3: Why don’t we pick names out of a hat?
圣战分子新兵3：我们为什么不任意抽名字呢？
Commander: That’s gambling, you idiot! We’re not allowed to gamble.
指挥官：这是赌博，你这傻瓜！赌博是不被允许的。
Recruit 3: I’m sure Allah would understand this one time.
新兵3：我想这么一次安拉会理解的。
Commander: You can’t even write your name, and you want to become a theologian? We’re not doing that!
指挥官：你甚至连自己的名字都不会写，你还想当个神学家？我们不会这么做的！
Recruit 1: How about eeny, meeny, miney, moe?
新兵1：那”eeny, meeny, miney, moe“怎么样？（一种儿歌句式，类似你拍一，我拍一。。。。）
Recruit 2: What are you, six? We are al Qaeda! We can’t play eeny, meeny, miney, moe.
新兵2：你是6岁小孩儿么？我们是基地组织！我们不能玩”eeny, meeny, miney, moe“。
Recruit1: Let’s do it by alphabetical order.
新兵1：那就按字母顺序来。
Recruit 2: Now wouldn’t that be convenient? Your name is Ziad, and my name is Amjad.
新兵2：哦现在就方便了？你的名字是Ziad，而我的是Amjad。
Recruit 1: It is written.
新兵1：那都是书面的。
Recruit 2: Don’t go all Sufi on me. Your real name is Andrew, anyway; you chose the name Ziad. Converts.
新兵2：不要用苏菲派来找借口。无论如何你真名叫Andrew，而你选了Ziad这个名字，改教者。
Recruit 1: What’s that?
新兵1：那是什么？
Recruit 2: Nothing.
新兵2：没什么。
Commander: Shut up, both of you. The infidels are laughing at us. Look at them sniggering in the corner. This was supposed to be a professional PR exercise; you’re ruining the whole thing.
指挥官；你们两个闭嘴。这些异教徒在嘲笑我们。看他们在角落里窃笑。这本该是一次专业的公关活动，结果你们把一切都毁了。
VICE: No, no, we weren’t…
VICE工作人员（VICE是发布该记录的网站）：不，不，我们没有。。。
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
Recruit: Let’s just kill them—that’s easier.
新兵：干脆杀了他们---这样简单点。
When did this become about us?
什么时候牵扯到我们了？
Commander: We’re not killing them. Why don’t you go? You don’t want to serve Allah? There are beautiful maidens waiting for you in
heaven.
指挥官：我们不会杀他们的。你干嘛不去（当人弹）？你不想为真主服务么？在天堂里有美丽的处女在等着你哦。
Recruit 2: I want to, but there are a few things I want to do before.
新兵2：我也想去，但在这之前我还有事想做。
Commander: Like what?
指挥官：比如说什么？
Recruit 2: I’ve never been skiing.
新兵2：我还没滑过雪。
Commander: We’re in the middle of the desert!
指挥官：我们在沙漠中央！
Recruit 2: I don’t have to do it here. I could go to Europe one day.
新兵：我不必在这儿滑。有一天我可以去欧洲。
Commander: You’re making long-term plans? Maybe you don’t understand what being a jihadi is.
指挥官：你在制定长期目标？或许你还不明白当一个圣战分子意味着什么。
Recruit 2: I do! I just want to go skiing before I die. Can’t a mujahid live out his dream?
新兵2：我明白！我就是想在死前去滑雪。一个圣战战士就不能实现他的梦想了么？
Recruit 3: Actually, I saw this thing on TV once—they were skiing on the sand in Dubai.
新兵3：确实，我曾在电视上看到过---他们在迪拜的沙滩上“滑雪”。
Commander: That wouldn’t work.
指挥官：那不管用。
Recruit 3: It totally did! It looked really, really fun.
新兵3：那很好玩！它看起来真的真的很有趣。
Recruit 1: Maybe we should try it. Then he can go.
新兵1：或许我们该去试试，然后他就能安心上路了。
Recruit 2: No, I want to do it on snow, like the real thing.
新兵2：不，我想在雪上滑，那才和真的一样。
Recruit 1: Let’s try it anyway. It sounds like fun.
新兵1：不管怎么说去试试吧，听起来蛮有趣的。
Commander: We’re not trying anything! We need to prepare for the operation!
指挥官：我们什么都不会试！我们得为行动做准备了！
Recruit 1: Relaxing is important for morale. You should employ some modern-management theory.
新兵1：学会放松对士气很重要。你得采用一些现代管理学的理论。
Commander: I’m old-school. How about a religious knowledge quiz?
指挥官：我是个老派的人。办个宗教知识问答怎么样？
Recruit 2: I’m not so into that.
新兵2：我不是很有兴趣。
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
Commander: You’re in al Qaeda!
指挥官：你在基地组织！
Recruit 2: I’m more into practice than theory. I’m a hands-on guy.
新兵2：比起理论我更喜欢实践。我是个喜欢亲自实践的人。
Commander: I am going to decide who goes then. This is not a democracy.
指挥官：我现在就要决定谁去了，这可不是民主。
Recruit 1: I think you are a wise man, you should choose.
新兵1：我觉得你是个聪明人，应该你来选。
Commander: I know what you are doing.
指挥官：我知道你在干什么。
Recruit 3: Let’s play a video game and the loser goes.
新兵3：来玩个电视游戏吧，输的人去。
Commander: We’re not playing games! Who are you? American teenagers? How did I end up with you lot? I’m going to decide.
指挥官：我们不会玩游戏！你是谁？美国青少年？你有完没完？我就要决定了。
Recruit 2: Wait, how about we send Ahmad?
新兵2：等等，我们送Ahmad去怎么样？
Commander: Where is Ahmad?
指挥官：Ahmad人在哪儿？
Recruit 2: He went to the market to buy beard cream. You know he snores so loudly and keeps us all awake? Two birds with one stone.
Give him the gift of martyrdom, and let us all get some decent sleep. We need it; we have important work.
新兵2：他去集市买胡须膏了。你知道他打呼噜响的让我们睡不着么？简直一石二鸟啊。
咱们把殉教当做礼物送给他，我们又可以好好睡觉。我们需要这么做，我们还有重要的工作呢。
Commander: I have made my decision. We are sending Ahmad.
指挥官：我做出决定了。我们送 Ahmad去。
Recruit 1: Now, who’s going to tell him the news?
新兵1：现在谁去告诉他这消息？
Commander: Any volunteers?
指挥官：有人自告奋勇的么？
Karl Sharro is an architect, writer, satirist, and commentator on the Middle East. He has written for a number of international publications and writes a blog, Karl reMarks, about Middle Eastern politics and culture, with occasional forays into satire. You can
follow him on Twitter at @KarlreMarks.
Karl Sharro是一位建筑学家，写手，讽刺作家，以及一位中东评论家。他给很多国际出版社写过稿，同时也在写博客。Karl关于中东政治的话偶尔带着讽刺。你可以在Twitter上关注他@KarlreMarks.。链接：http://www.ltaaa.com/wtfy/12224.html
圣战分子如何决定谁成为人体炸弹
HOW JIHADIS DECIDE WHO BECOMES THE SUICIDE BOMBER
作者:翻译加工厂 发布日期:2014-02-17 浏览:6815
译文简介:
圣战分子的世界充满了伦理困境和复杂的问题。这在操作问题上尤为明显，但至今为止极少有对于圣战分子采用的复杂方法的报道。
译文来源:
http://www.vice.com/read/how-jih ... -the-suicide-bomber
正文翻译:
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
The world of jihadis is fraught with ethical dilemmas and complex questions. This is particularly evident in operational matters, but there has so far been very little coverage of the intricate methods that jihadis employ. Choosing who gets to be a suicide bomber is a particularly thorny issue that has been completely unexplored. Until now. In an unprecedented coup, we gained access to a meeting that illustrated the complicated procedure involved. The transcript of this fascinating encounter is below.
圣战分子的世界充满了伦理困境和复杂的问题。这在操作问题上尤为明显，但至今为止极少有对于圣战分子采用的复杂方法的报道。选择谁去当个人体炸弹一直是个棘手的问题，而人们完全没发现这一点。而现在，在一次出乎意料的行动中，我们有机会参加一个说明这个复杂程序的会议。这次迷人遭遇的文字记录将在下文列出.
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
Jihadi Commander: I have called you all in today so we can decide who gets to be the suicide bomber in the operation tomorrow. Any volunteers?
圣战分子指挥官：我把你们今天都叫来，这样我们好决定谁在明天的行动中当人体炸弹。有自告奋勇的么？
[Silence.]
【一片安静】
Typical. Where is your zeal? Do we have to go through this every time? Why can’t one of you volunteer?
真是典型的场景啊。你们的热情呢？我们一定要每次都经历这些（沉默）么？你们当中就不能有一个自告奋勇的么？
Jihadi Recruit 1: Why don’t you volunteer?
圣战分子新兵1：你自己干嘛不上？
Commander: I’m the commander! Someone needs to be in charge.
指挥官：我是指挥官！得有个人指挥！
Jihadi Recruit 2: Who died and made you boss?
圣战分子新兵2：是谁死了让你当上老大的？
Commander: Abu Omar! You know that. He said I should be the boss before he went to do his suicide operation.
指挥官：是Abu Omar!你知道的。他去履行自杀任务之前说应该由我来担任老大。。
Recruit 1: See, he didn’t mind even though he was the commander.
新兵1：看，他倒不介意（当人体炸弹）尽管他是指挥官.
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
Commander: It’s different.
指挥官；那不一样。
Recruit 1: How’s that different?
新兵1：有什么不一样？
Commander: You don’t understand these things. Now we need to decide quickly. The blessed one needs to get measured for the suicide vest. We don’t have these in all sizes.
指挥官：这些你不懂。现在，我们得快点决定（谁来当人体炸弹）了。得到祝福的人（当人体炸弹的人）需要一个自杀式炸弹背心。我们不是什么尺码的都有。
Jihadi Recruit 3: Why don’t we pick names out of a hat?
圣战分子新兵3：我们为什么不任意抽名字呢？
Commander: That’s gambling, you idiot! We’re not allowed to gamble.
指挥官：这是赌博，你这傻瓜！赌博是不被允许的。
Recruit 3: I’m sure Allah would understand this one time.
新兵3：我想这么一次安拉会理解的。
Commander: You can’t even write your name, and you want to become a theologian? We’re not doing that!
指挥官：你甚至连自己的名字都不会写，你还想当个神学家？我们不会这么做的！
Recruit 1: How about eeny, meeny, miney, moe?
新兵1：那”eeny, meeny, miney, moe“怎么样？（一种儿歌句式，类似你拍一，我拍一。。。。）
Recruit 2: What are you, six? We are al Qaeda! We can’t play eeny, meeny, miney, moe.
新兵2：你是6岁小孩儿么？我们是基地组织！我们不能玩”eeny, meeny, miney, moe“。
Recruit1: Let’s do it by alphabetical order.
新兵1：那就按字母顺序来。
Recruit 2: Now wouldn’t that be convenient? Your name is Ziad, and my name is Amjad.
新兵2：哦现在就方便了？你的名字是Ziad，而我的是Amjad。
Recruit 1: It is written.
新兵1：那都是书面的。
Recruit 2: Don’t go all Sufi on me. Your real name is Andrew, anyway; you chose the name Ziad. Converts.
新兵2：不要用苏菲派来找借口。无论如何你真名叫Andrew，而你选了Ziad这个名字，改教者。
Recruit 1: What’s that?
新兵1：那是什么？
Recruit 2: Nothing.
新兵2：没什么。
Commander: Shut up, both of you. The infidels are laughing at us. Look at them sniggering in the corner. This was supposed to be a professional PR exercise; you’re ruining the whole thing.
指挥官；你们两个闭嘴。这些异教徒在嘲笑我们。看他们在角落里窃笑。这本该是一次专业的公关活动，结果你们把一切都毁了。
VICE: No, no, we weren’t…
VICE工作人员（VICE是发布该记录的网站）：不，不，我们没有。。。
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
Recruit: Let’s just kill them—that’s easier.
新兵：干脆杀了他们---这样简单点。
When did this become about us?
什么时候牵扯到我们了？
Commander: We’re not killing them. Why don’t you go? You don’t want to serve Allah? There are beautiful maidens waiting for you in
heaven.
指挥官：我们不会杀他们的。你干嘛不去（当人弹）？你不想为真主服务么？在天堂里有美丽的处女在等着你哦。
Recruit 2: I want to, but there are a few things I want to do before.
新兵2：我也想去，但在这之前我还有事想做。
Commander: Like what?
指挥官：比如说什么？
Recruit 2: I’ve never been skiing.
新兵2：我还没滑过雪。
Commander: We’re in the middle of the desert!
指挥官：我们在沙漠中央！
Recruit 2: I don’t have to do it here. I could go to Europe one day.
新兵：我不必在这儿滑。有一天我可以去欧洲。
Commander: You’re making long-term plans? Maybe you don’t understand what being a jihadi is.
指挥官：你在制定长期目标？或许你还不明白当一个圣战分子意味着什么。
Recruit 2: I do! I just want to go skiing before I die. Can’t a mujahid live out his dream?
新兵2：我明白！我就是想在死前去滑雪。一个圣战战士就不能实现他的梦想了么？
Recruit 3: Actually, I saw this thing on TV once—they were skiing on the sand in Dubai.
新兵3：确实，我曾在电视上看到过---他们在迪拜的沙滩上“滑雪”。
Commander: That wouldn’t work.
指挥官：那不管用。
Recruit 3: It totally did! It looked really, really fun.
新兵3：那很好玩！它看起来真的真的很有趣。
Recruit 1: Maybe we should try it. Then he can go.
新兵1：或许我们该去试试，然后他就能安心上路了。
Recruit 2: No, I want to do it on snow, like the real thing.
新兵2：不，我想在雪上滑，那才和真的一样。
Recruit 1: Let’s try it anyway. It sounds like fun.
新兵1：不管怎么说去试试吧，听起来蛮有趣的。
Commander: We’re not trying anything! We need to prepare for the operation!
指挥官：我们什么都不会试！我们得为行动做准备了！
Recruit 1: Relaxing is important for morale. You should employ some modern-management theory.
新兵1：学会放松对士气很重要。你得采用一些现代管理学的理论。
Commander: I’m old-school. How about a religious knowledge quiz?
指挥官：我是个老派的人。办个宗教知识问答怎么样？
Recruit 2: I’m not so into that.
新兵2：我不是很有兴趣。
-------------译者：Rel_mayer-审核者：chen_lt------------
Commander: You’re in al Qaeda!
指挥官：你在基地组织！
Recruit 2: I’m more into practice than theory. I’m a hands-on guy.
新兵2：比起理论我更喜欢实践。我是个喜欢亲自实践的人。
Commander: I am going to decide who goes then. This is not a democracy.
指挥官：我现在就要决定谁去了，这可不是民主。
Recruit 1: I think you are a wise man, you should choose.
新兵1：我觉得你是个聪明人，应该你来选。
Commander: I know what you are doing.
指挥官：我知道你在干什么。
Recruit 3: Let’s play a video game and the loser goes.
新兵3：来玩个电视游戏吧，输的人去。
Commander: We’re not playing games! Who are you? American teenagers? How did I end up with you lot? I’m going to decide.
指挥官：我们不会玩游戏！你是谁？美国青少年？你有完没完？我就要决定了。
Recruit 2: Wait, how about we send Ahmad?
新兵2：等等，我们送Ahmad去怎么样？
Commander: Where is Ahmad?
指挥官：Ahmad人在哪儿？
Recruit 2: He went to the market to buy beard cream. You know he snores so loudly and keeps us all awake? Two birds with one stone.
Give him the gift of martyrdom, and let us all get some decent sleep. We need it; we have important work.
新兵2：他去集市买胡须膏了。你知道他打呼噜响的让我们睡不着么？简直一石二鸟啊。
咱们把殉教当做礼物送给他，我们又可以好好睡觉。我们需要这么做，我们还有重要的工作呢。
Commander: I have made my decision. We are sending Ahmad.
指挥官：我做出决定了。我们送 Ahmad去。
Recruit 1: Now, who’s going to tell him the news?
新兵1：现在谁去告诉他这消息？
Commander: Any volunteers?
指挥官：有人自告奋勇的么？
Karl Sharro is an architect, writer, satirist, and commentator on the Middle East. He has written for a number of international publications and writes a blog, Karl reMarks, about Middle Eastern politics and culture, with occasional forays into satire. You can
follow him on Twitter at @KarlreMarks.
Karl Sharro是一位建筑学家，写手，讽刺作家，以及一位中东评论家。他给很多国际出版社写过稿，同时也在写博客。Karl关于中东政治的话偶尔带着讽刺。你可以在Twitter上关注他@KarlreMarks.。
很好玩。作者需要注意下人身安全了。
这是阿拉伯版本的相声?
kuakeniao 发表于 2014-2-18 11:04
默罕默。德钢
笑的肾疼
默罕默。德钢
笑的肾疼kuakeniao 发表于 2014-2-18 11:04
默罕默。德钢
还有 猴晒阴.谦
默罕默。德钢
还有 猴晒阴.谦
kuakeniao 发表于 2014-2-18 11:04
默罕默。德钢
神配图
默罕默。德钢
神配图
猴晒阴 谦何在？
不愧是“专业的公关活动”
默罕默.德钢也在现场吗
默罕默。德钢
腰断了，哥们！ 笑死我了……
腰断了，哥们！ 笑死我了……
基地的圣战者英语不错
哈哈！德刚中枪！
kuakeniao 发表于 2014-2-18 11:04
默罕默。德钢
这个简直是神图 简直像得不得了呀
默罕默。德钢
这个简直是神图 简直像得不得了呀
默罕默。德钢
淫才难得啊，笑死！
淫才难得啊，笑死！
智动铅笔 发表于 2014-2-18 10:41
很好玩。作者需要注意下人身安全了。
确实是，恐怖分子狠在意的。
很好玩。作者需要注意下人身安全了。
确实是，恐怖分子狠在意的。
这多人相声不错简直就是小品吗，建议上春晚。
默罕默。德钢
哈哈，笑喷了！
哈哈，笑喷了！
kuakeniao 发表于 2014-2-18 11:04
默罕默。德钢
乃太有才了，正想骂又是哪个二货去支持恐怖分子丢中国人的脸去了，仔细一看原来是P的老郭啊
默罕默。德钢
乃太有才了，正想骂又是哪个二货去支持恐怖分子丢中国人的脸去了，仔细一看原来是P的老郭啊
有点黑色幽默的感觉，笑笑就行了。
这太有喜感了啊，，，，啊哈哈
很好的基础英文教材啊 带回去给领导补习下
说当年WG的时候，每个单位都有“右派”指标，有也有，没有也有，实在找不着就开大会选一个出去。谁也不愿意去，谁也不好意思选别人去，毕竟抬头不见低头见。就这么憋着，半天选不出来，有个人实在憋不住了上了个厕所，结果所有人都选了他。………………跟这个笑话一样一样的啊
摸还摸得 . 摸还摸不得 . 锅的钢
智动铅笔 发表于 2014-2-18 16:28
说当年WG的时候，每个单位都有“右派”指标，有也有，没有也有，实在找不着就开大会选一个出去。谁也不愿意 ...
看来这种黑色的笑话……啥时候都有呢……
说当年WG的时候，每个单位都有“右派”指标，有也有，没有也有，实在找不着就开大会选一个出去。谁也不愿意 ...
看来这种黑色的笑话……啥时候都有呢……