超级军网坛子里的英语老师、未来战士等进！大家帮下忙，帮我看看 ...
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朋友的朋友的孩子，上四年级，要去参加一个少儿英语口语大赛
他父母都不会英语，机缘巧合下，找了我帮他写稿子
但是他们给了我一个中文稿子让我翻译
我写了。
问题就是我的语法不好，虚拟语气各种从句定语什么的一项乱七八糟……写出来的东西，让人一看就知道是中国人的思维写的。
于是就想让大家伙帮我看看！
这边先谢过大家了
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Good morning everyone. My name is Wang Yanbo. I’m ten years old. Today my topic is “If I were a father.
Those things below are what I’m going to do if I were a father.
I will not nag around my child all day if I were a father .I will not yell my child saying you are so stupid when he should have any problem in the class.
I will praise my child even he just makes the slightest progress. For example, when my child eats faster than yesterday, he does his homework in good order than yesterday; I will say you did a good job. When he participates in a competition and only gets a third prize I will still say you are the best, come on!
I will spend more time staying with my child taking him out to enjoy the beautiful scenes of nature in order to open his eyes, to enlarge his world if I were a father. I will let him make his own mind and his own choice according to his own interesting instead of forcing him to take any lessons after school If were a father.
Lastly, I want to say if I were a father, I will give him a happy childhood.
That’s all, thanks for your listening.
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开头不是我写的，其他是我翻译的，中文原稿现在不在我这里。再次感谢大家！朋友的朋友的孩子，上四年级，要去参加一个少儿英语口语大赛
他父母都不会英语，机缘巧合下，找了我帮他写稿子
但是他们给了我一个中文稿子让我翻译
我写了。
问题就是我的语法不好，虚拟语气各种从句定语什么的一项乱七八糟……写出来的东西，让人一看就知道是中国人的思维写的。
于是就想让大家伙帮我看看！
这边先谢过大家了
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Good morning everyone. My name is Wang Yanbo. I’m ten years old. Today my topic is “If I were a father.
Those things below are what I’m going to do if I were a father.
I will not nag around my child all day if I were a father .I will not yell my child saying you are so stupid when he should have any problem in the class.
I will praise my child even he just makes the slightest progress. For example, when my child eats faster than yesterday, he does his homework in good order than yesterday; I will say you did a good job. When he participates in a competition and only gets a third prize I will still say you are the best, come on!
I will spend more time staying with my child taking him out to enjoy the beautiful scenes of nature in order to open his eyes, to enlarge his world if I were a father. I will let him make his own mind and his own choice according to his own interesting instead of forcing him to take any lessons after school If were a father.
Lastly, I want to say if I were a father, I will give him a happy childhood.
That’s all, thanks for your listening.
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开头不是我写的，其他是我翻译的，中文原稿现在不在我这里。再次感谢大家！
他父母都不会英语，机缘巧合下，找了我帮他写稿子
但是他们给了我一个中文稿子让我翻译
我写了。
问题就是我的语法不好，虚拟语气各种从句定语什么的一项乱七八糟……写出来的东西，让人一看就知道是中国人的思维写的。
于是就想让大家伙帮我看看！
这边先谢过大家了
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————————————————来自M78的低调的分割线———————————
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Good morning everyone. My name is Wang Yanbo. I’m ten years old. Today my topic is “If I were a father.
Those things below are what I’m going to do if I were a father.
I will not nag around my child all day if I were a father .I will not yell my child saying you are so stupid when he should have any problem in the class.
I will praise my child even he just makes the slightest progress. For example, when my child eats faster than yesterday, he does his homework in good order than yesterday; I will say you did a good job. When he participates in a competition and only gets a third prize I will still say you are the best, come on!
I will spend more time staying with my child taking him out to enjoy the beautiful scenes of nature in order to open his eyes, to enlarge his world if I were a father. I will let him make his own mind and his own choice according to his own interesting instead of forcing him to take any lessons after school If were a father.
Lastly, I want to say if I were a father, I will give him a happy childhood.
That’s all, thanks for your listening.
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开头不是我写的，其他是我翻译的，中文原稿现在不在我这里。再次感谢大家！朋友的朋友的孩子，上四年级，要去参加一个少儿英语口语大赛
他父母都不会英语，机缘巧合下，找了我帮他写稿子
但是他们给了我一个中文稿子让我翻译
我写了。
问题就是我的语法不好，虚拟语气各种从句定语什么的一项乱七八糟……写出来的东西，让人一看就知道是中国人的思维写的。
于是就想让大家伙帮我看看！
这边先谢过大家了
——————————————————————————————————————
————————————————来自M78的低调的分割线———————————
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Good morning everyone. My name is Wang Yanbo. I’m ten years old. Today my topic is “If I were a father.
Those things below are what I’m going to do if I were a father.
I will not nag around my child all day if I were a father .I will not yell my child saying you are so stupid when he should have any problem in the class.
I will praise my child even he just makes the slightest progress. For example, when my child eats faster than yesterday, he does his homework in good order than yesterday; I will say you did a good job. When he participates in a competition and only gets a third prize I will still say you are the best, come on!
I will spend more time staying with my child taking him out to enjoy the beautiful scenes of nature in order to open his eyes, to enlarge his world if I were a father. I will let him make his own mind and his own choice according to his own interesting instead of forcing him to take any lessons after school If were a father.
Lastly, I want to say if I were a father, I will give him a happy childhood.
That’s all, thanks for your listening.
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开头不是我写的，其他是我翻译的，中文原稿现在不在我这里。再次感谢大家！
口语比赛背稿子的话会显得比较假，还是让小孩自己发挥吧~
口语比赛背稿子的话会显得比较假，还是让小孩自己发挥吧~
Silk_Blade 发表于 2010-12-9 08:29 
貌似好像是要有主题的
貌似好像是要有主题的
Good morning everyone. My name is Wang Yanbo. Thank you for comming here to listening my speech. The topic of my speach is “If I were the father of a child".
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第一句不需要说明年龄。第二句today my topic 太突然了，所以加上了Thank you for comming here to listening my speech.
另外题目不动听：If I were the father of a child比If I were a father 好的多
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第一句不需要说明年龄。第二句today my topic 太突然了，所以加上了Thank you for comming here to listening my speech.
另外题目不动听：If I were the father of a child比If I were a father 好的多
cjp324 发表于 2010-12-9 08:14
我把明显的错误简单地改了一下，很多句子不明白想表达什么所以也没法改。
Good morning everyone. My name is Wang Yanbo and I’m ten years old. Today my topic is “Things I would do if I were a father."
If I were a father, I will not nag around my child all day long. [I will not yell at my child saying you are so stupid when he should have any problem in the class.]<---这句话不明白想表达什么。
I will praise my child even when he makes the slightest progress. For example, [when my child eats faster than yesterday]<---这句话不明白想表达什么，比昨天吃得快？, or [he does his homework in good order than yesterday]<---这句也话不明白想表达什么，要是想说按时做完作业的话是“he finished his homework on time.", I will say: "good job!" When he participates in a competition and only gets a third prize, I will still say "you are the best!"
I will spend more time with my child and taking him outside to enjoy the beautiful scenes of nature. As a father, I would like to open my child's eyes and let him see the world. I will let my child make his own decisions according to his interest instead of forcing him to take lessons after school.
Finally, I want to say if I were a father, I will give my child a happy childhood.
That’s all, thanks for listening.
我把明显的错误简单地改了一下，很多句子不明白想表达什么所以也没法改。
Good morning everyone. My name is Wang Yanbo and I’m ten years old. Today my topic is “Things I would do if I were a father."
If I were a father, I will not nag around my child all day long. [I will not yell at my child saying you are so stupid when he should have any problem in the class.]<---这句话不明白想表达什么。
I will praise my child even when he makes the slightest progress. For example, [when my child eats faster than yesterday]<---这句话不明白想表达什么，比昨天吃得快？, or [he does his homework in good order than yesterday]<---这句也话不明白想表达什么，要是想说按时做完作业的话是“he finished his homework on time.", I will say: "good job!" When he participates in a competition and only gets a third prize, I will still say "you are the best!"
I will spend more time with my child and taking him outside to enjoy the beautiful scenes of nature. As a father, I would like to open my child's eyes and let him see the world. I will let my child make his own decisions according to his interest instead of forcing him to take lessons after school.
Finally, I want to say if I were a father, I will give my child a happy childhood.
That’s all, thanks for listening.
另外内容全部要换，你要学奥巴马的演讲方式。
呵呵。要有政治正确性。榜样的作用，尊老爱幼的传统。
最后要说点与时俱进的东西。
呵呵。要有政治正确性。榜样的作用，尊老爱幼的传统。
最后要说点与时俱进的东西。
being the farther of a child is to be proud.
But being a father is more about responsibility. (头两句烘托气氛）
But being a father is more about responsibility. (头两句烘托气氛）
eeyylx 发表于 2010-12-9 09:32
老大这条您跟开玩笑的吧……
内容是人家给定的，我自是尽我所能翻译了一些。先谢过！！！！
老大这条您跟开玩笑的吧……
内容是人家给定的，我自是尽我所能翻译了一些。先谢过！！！！
回复 3# cjp324
小学四年级没这么大的单词量吧，有些单词要改一改要不然容易漏馅
还有不要写从句，多用简单句。要不然一个小学生会这么多没学的东西很容易让人质疑的。
回复 3# cjp324
小学四年级没这么大的单词量吧，有些单词要改一改要不然容易漏馅
还有不要写从句，多用简单句。要不然一个小学生会这么多没学的东西很容易让人质疑的。
这么大的单词量!!! 小学四年级!!!
mogadishu 发表于 2010-12-9 09:30
谢谢哈！
谢谢哈！
cxatwc 发表于 2010-12-9 09:44
我被原来的中文稿子限制住了……不用从句什么的，都不知道怎么表达了，结果出来个自己也觉得郁闷的东东
我被原来的中文稿子限制住了……不用从句什么的，都不知道怎么表达了，结果出来个自己也觉得郁闷的东东
xjy0791 发表于 2010-12-9 09:45
大人写的中文，大人翻译的……SO，悲剧了……
大人写的中文，大人翻译的……SO，悲剧了……
回复 12# cjp324
你要是按原文来翻译势必会用到从句。。
自己改改吧，要不然小学四年级的就把高中学的东西抖出来，评委会质疑是不是自己写的。
到时候因为这样那就得不偿失了
你要是按原文来翻译势必会用到从句。。
自己改改吧，要不然小学四年级的就把高中学的东西抖出来，评委会质疑是不是自己写的。
到时候因为这样那就得不偿失了
cxatwc 发表于 2010-12-9 09:55
也是这么想的。当然我发上来的其中一个目的就是，想看看我的英语表达能力
也是这么想的。当然我发上来的其中一个目的就是，想看看我的英语表达能力
being the faather of a child is not just about putting the food on the table.
It is about setting up a good model for your child to follow.
A good model consists of hard working ethic, discipling, self reliance and etc.
呵呵，楼主太负面了。要正面介绍，说大话。什么纪律性啊，自律能力啊。等等
It is about setting up a good model for your child to follow.
A good model consists of hard working ethic, discipling, self reliance and etc.
呵呵，楼主太负面了。要正面介绍，说大话。什么纪律性啊，自律能力啊。等等
cjp324 发表于 2010-12-9 09:48
不用谢。 我女友看了后说，这差不多是美国小学四年级水平。:D （她是美国人）
不用谢。 我女友看了后说，这差不多是美国小学四年级水平。:D （她是美国人）
I am a lucky boy. My dad is a good model which I can learn from him.
要表扬自己的爸爸嘻嘻
要表扬自己的爸爸嘻嘻
翻译的话，吃老头很可靠吖！
止战之殇 发表于 2010-12-9 10:08
就是的嘛，不知道在不在
就是的嘛，不知道在不在
mogadishu 发表于 2010-12-9 10:05
哈哈，料想如此……汗死。
乃是在海外吧？
哈哈，料想如此……汗死。乃是在海外吧？
eeyylx 发表于 2010-12-9 09:59
啪……轰倒在地了
啪……轰倒在地了
But if were the father, I would like to add alittle bit more into this model.
I want my child to have more freedom: the freedom of choice, the freedom of
challenge. A father should always encourage his child to choose the pass that
he or she want. I will not dectate my child's pass to success.
Well, Many people ask me the same question: Does more freedom make a child lazy.
I think the opposite!!Becasue freedom is a right not an option. Giving more freedom
encourages my child to work harder.
Last, I have to thank to my father who give me a great childhood.
That’s all, thanks for your listening
I want my child to have more freedom: the freedom of choice, the freedom of
challenge. A father should always encourage his child to choose the pass that
he or she want. I will not dectate my child's pass to success.
Well, Many people ask me the same question: Does more freedom make a child lazy.
I think the opposite!!Becasue freedom is a right not an option. Giving more freedom
encourages my child to work harder.
Last, I have to thank to my father who give me a great childhood.
That’s all, thanks for your listening
最后一定要点出自由，外国人就喜欢这歌词。
政治正确性。一定要记住！！
政治正确性。一定要记住！！
cjp324 发表于 2010-12-9 08:14
奥黑式开头
Ladies and gentlemen, good to have you here this evening. It is my greatest honour to have this opportunity tonight to stand before you all and deliver this speech on a topic I care deeply about. Things I would do If I were a father.
我感觉那孩子一定要选择这个题目是有点向他老爸表威的意思，小孩子权谋不错
奥黑式开头
Ladies and gentlemen, good to have you here this evening. It is my greatest honour to have this opportunity tonight to stand before you all and deliver this speech on a topic I care deeply about. Things I would do If I were a father.
我感觉那孩子一定要选择这个题目是有点向他老爸表威的意思，小孩子权谋不错
“榜样”是role model不是model，model是模特
同志们！俺对乃们的敬仰真是……滔滔不绝啊……
汝儿乃我 发表于 2010-12-9 10:30
貌似主题和中文稿都是大人定的
貌似主题和中文稿都是大人定的
eeyylx 发表于 2010-12-9 10:23
跟外国人没什么关系
国人办的口语比赛。
跟外国人没什么关系
国人办的口语比赛。
eeyylx 发表于 2010-12-9 10:23
相当给力
相当给力
It is my greatest honour to have this opportunity tonight to stand before you all and deliver this speech on a topic I care deeply about.
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我也想了这句。但是人家一听就知道是抄的。所以一定要改简单点，反应小学四年级水品，
不过楼主的原文太负面了。太中国。注意！演讲就是洗脑！！
不要说具体事情，最好讲点大道理，真理。 什么自由啊。尊严啊。责任心啊。
在拍拍爸爸的马屁。我爸爸是我的榜样！！
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我也想了这句。但是人家一听就知道是抄的。所以一定要改简单点，反应小学四年级水品，
不过楼主的原文太负面了。太中国。注意！演讲就是洗脑！！
不要说具体事情，最好讲点大道理，真理。 什么自由啊。尊严啊。责任心啊。
在拍拍爸爸的马屁。我爸爸是我的榜样！！
cjp324 发表于 2010-12-9 10:36
那这题目也太腹黑了,引蛇出洞,回家就是一顿打,颇有当年太祖风范
那这题目也太腹黑了,引蛇出洞,回家就是一顿打,颇有当年太祖风范
汝儿乃我 发表于 2010-12-9 10:43
那我就不知道了。朋友的朋友的孩子，隔着好几层
那我就不知道了。朋友的朋友的孩子，隔着好几层回复 1# cjp324
小孩子要是能背下来这段,估计第一是拿定了
奥黑版: father-child relation needs to CHANGE
老布什版: read my lips "NO MORE KIDS"
肯尼迪版: ask not what your father can do for you, ask what you can do for your father
小布什版: you are either with my dad, or you are against my dad
克林顿版: I did not have sex with my dad, I only gave him a blowjob
里根版: I have seen the birth my my father, and I have seen the death of my father
尼克松版: I bugged my dad's room and heard him having sex with my mom
回复 1# cjp324
小孩子要是能背下来这段,估计第一是拿定了
奥黑版: father-child relation needs to CHANGE
老布什版: read my lips "NO MORE KIDS"
肯尼迪版: ask not what your father can do for you, ask what you can do for your father
小布什版: you are either with my dad, or you are against my dad
克林顿版: I did not have sex with my dad, I only gave him a blowjob
里根版: I have seen the birth my my father, and I have seen the death of my father
尼克松版: I bugged my dad's room and heard him having sex with my mom
小学学英语吗？？我们当时都是初一学英语啊
小学考初中需要考英语么
小学考初中需要考英语么
汝儿乃我 发表于 2010-12-9 10:50
乃真的是太有才了……
乃真的是太有才了……最新消息，小孩的父母说，那篇东东的词汇什么的，都是麻油问题的……
eeyylx 发表于 2010-12-9 10:50
时代不一样了，现在幼儿园都学了……
时代不一样了，现在幼儿园都学了……
这个 这个 这个 这个
英语，挥之不去的痛啊